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Author Topic: semi-sexually harassed
miyukime
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okay. i've been asking and been constantly overthinking these past months about my actually non-existent pregnancy scare.
but now, i think i have a possibility
i came over to my bf's house. i am pretty sure i told him almost a thousand sentences to explain that i don't want to do anything sexual at all.
but instead he took my hand and made me rub his penis for a matter of seconds.then he said to close my eyes, then he took my hand and i touched the bare tip of his penis!!!multiple times!! he was aroused so i assume there was precum. after minutes,i washed my hands the i went to pee and suddenly i washed my genitals,afterwards i became paranoid knowing there may be a leftover sperm that was not removed in my hand. when i touched his tip(slight touch) my fingers didn't feel wet( i think)
i broke up with him because that was traumatizing for me and i do not want to become pregnant
it happened on july 11. on july 04,i having a clear, with clear egg like discharge(ovulation i think)
can i be pregnant?i was so paranoid that i asked another forum and he said it was vanishly small for me to conceive, still i took nordette(ec pill) more than 24 hrs later even though he said it was unnecessary [Frown]
please don't direct me to some page i need opinions

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20loves12

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miyukime
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i rubbed his penis over his underwear*meaning he was wearing underwear
but the tip was another act. it was bare naked

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20loves12

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Volunteer Ruth
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In regards to your pregnancy scare, this link should help you. This Is Your Pregnancy Scare Answer. Within that post is a link to one called "You're not pregnant, why do you think you are?" which I think you might also find helpful.

Furthermore, even if you had decribed a risk (which you have not), taking the emergency contraceptive would have greatly reduced your chances of being pregnant, so you really have nothing to worry about there.

However, I think it would be more pressing to talk about what your boyfriend did, and your anxieties over being pregnant.

From your previous thread it seems you were given a lot of resources about how conception works, so if that's alright I won't go over that anymore, but I will say that it is pretty usual for people to have higher anxieties about pregnancy when what happened was out of their control.

Generally in regards to your anxiety, I think this is something you could talk to a professional about, as it seems that your pregnancy fears have previously not been assuaged by solid information about what causes pregnancy.

However, I hear you saying that you explicitly told your boyfriend that you didn't want to do anything sexual, and he disrespected this and made you touch his penis - this was not something you consented to, and I'm sorry that that happened to you. Is this something that you want to talk about? On here, or with another service? I can direct you to one, if you like. I'm not personally familiar with the services available in the Philippines, but I can do some searching if that's something you would want.

[ 07-15-2014, 05:48 AM: Message edited by: Volunteer Ruth ]

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miyukime
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i told my parents to take me to the ob-gyn so that i could feel a little better. but my mother said that the doctor would just laugh at us. i keep insisting her but she wouldn't help me.
that's why i used nordette. because here i am searching about tons of sites if i could get pregnant from that. i am constantly crying everyday knowing that i could get pregnant and it will cause me to stop my studies. i want to have a future. and my mother told me they would throw me out of the house if i was pregnant. please talk to me

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20loves12

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Volunteer Ruth
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It's really not necessary to see an ob-gyn to confirm that you're not pregnant - you didn't describe anything that constituted a risk. Did you read the first link I sent you? That should have made it fairly clear.

Also, it's often not helpful to google extensively about what can and can't get you pregnant - the information on Scarleteen is founded on actual study findings, whereas elsewhere on the internet you can find a lot of at best anecdotes, and at worse lies.

I'm sorry that you're so upset about the prospect of being pregnant, but I assure you that nothing has happened to make that a reality. I know it's hard, especially with what your boyfriend did and your mother being insensitive, but you really have nothing to worry about in regards to a pregnancy scare.

If it would help calm you to take a pregnancy test then you can do that without the help of your ob-gyn, but know that I recommend that only on the basis of it calming your anxiety, not because I think you may be pregnant.

[ 07-15-2014, 06:25 AM: Message edited by: Volunteer Ruth ]

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miyukime
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can i keep coming back here to talk to you guys?
what if i didn't wash my hands?
i feel like i have anxiety issues over everything and i really want to just stay in the hospital and just tell the doctor all about this. but they won't let me because its a waste of money
i just want to feel better

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20loves12

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Volunteer Ruth
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You can always talk to us, but if you keep describing non-risks we can only really refer you on to the information you've been given before about how conception works and what does and doesn't constitute a pregnancy risk, which is information that we've already given you. Does that make sense?

Even if you didn't wash your hands, precum transferred from penis-to-hand-to-vagina isn't a viable pregnancy risk - there needs to be direct contact between genitals or ejaculation directly onto them.

However, if you want to talk about your boyfriend going against your wishes to not do anything sexual, then we are definitely here for you in that instance.

I'm glad that you recognise that your anxiety is an issue - is there anyone you can talk to outside of a hospital? If you're at school there may be a counsellor you can see, or you could speak to your healthcare provider about seeing someone?

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miyukime
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if i talk to a counselor at school,they would just tell my parents and they would constantly tell me that i will not get pregnant and it is my fault i trusted my boyfriend. i was not allowed to have on in the first place. i just never thought he would do that.how can i avail a healthcare provider ever if i'm still a minor?

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20loves12

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Volunteer Ruth
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Usually counsellors offer confidentiality - that's always something you can ask about, if you're worried they would tell your parents. Typically the only reasons to breach confidentiality is if you're a significant risk to yourself or to others.

They should never, ever tell that it's your fault, though. It categorically was not - you should have been able to trust him, and it is entirely and 100% his fault that he broke that trust. You didn't do anything wrong - not by having a boyfriend, and not by trusting him.

I'm unsure how healthcare works in the Philippines, but I would imagine it would be possible for you to speak to a doctor alone if you needed to. Could you call and find out? You can ask about confidentiality policies at the same time.

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miyukime
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why is precum to hand to vulva not a risk? i mean it is still possible because precum has a little to no sperm right?

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20loves12

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Volunteer Ruth
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There's very little sperm in precum, and your hand isn't the right environment to keep sperm cells alive. They're very delicate. I assure you, it really is no pregnancy risk.
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miyukime
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http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=21;t=000271;p=0

why does it says there that i have a low risk even if i washed my hands?
I am still worried

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Heather
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That post is twelve years old, that's why it's written the way that it is.

We are giving you current information right here. Looking up old information isn't a sound move if you want what's most current.

If you still feel concerned about this, continuing to focus on it and go nuts searching for more and more is pretty much the way to make sure you stay panicked and feeling anxious. Obsessing like this and staying in it, instead of working to let it go, only feeds anxiety.

You want to feel better, you've got to walk away. Or, if you feel like a second opinion about how pregnancy happens would help you, you can go check out the library, consult with another site, or with a doctor. And by all means, consulting a counselor or therapist, or even a general doctor, about your anxiety -- and you can also talk to them about what your boyfriend did to you, so you can get some help and support with that -- is the best way to start managing it. We don't have the ability to provide that for you or anyone else.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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miyukime
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thank you so much
somehow i am feeling a little better
that i can't be pregnant from that
but since my country is somewhat conservative, i may not have access to go to a doctor by myself.
i can't convince my parents to take me to the ob-gyn
and they think i even had sex with my bf T.T
i really want this feeling go away

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20loves12

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miyukime
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thank you so much
somehow i am feeling a little better
that i can't be pregnant from that
but since my country is somewhat conservative, i may not have access to go to a doctor by myself.
i can't convince my parents to take me to the ob-gyn
and they think i even had sex with my bf T.T
what's worse is that they are blaming me for i was stupid for not knowing his intentions. i know i am at fault. but blaming me isn't helping me at all. He's my boyfriend for half a year, that's why i completely trusted him when he said he respected my decision of not doing anything sexual.
i really want this feeling go away

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20loves12

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Heather
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You say you may not have access to a doctor by yourself: how about you find out if that is actually true?

Especially since we have had users in your country who have accessed that healthcare on their own, so chances are, it is, in fact, something you, too, can do.

And you are NOT at fault, so if you are believing anyone saying you are, do yourself a favor and stop. You're not.

Just like it's not someone's fault who got mugged for being mugged, just like it's not someone's fault who got robbed for being robbed.

He was the one who did what he did here, to you, against your will when you clearly stated it was not what you wanted. He did this. Not you. It's HIS fault.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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miyukime
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Its me again. I was about to forget about the ncident but i remembered before we went home he masturbated himself for 3-5 seconds then i got mad and told him to use alcohol. Could.sperm be passed on his hand to my hand to my vulva when i peed.at home?i think its a ten minute travel time from his house to my house. Help

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20loves12

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Heather
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No, you are not describing a situation that poses a risk of pregnancy.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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miyukime
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may i ask this,out of the blue,that if women ovulate always 2 weeks before menstruation?just to ease my mind.i got my period on jan.19 but i think it's my withdrawal bleeding when i took nordette.also,he did that to me a week before my period came

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20loves12

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Heather
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On average, most people who ovulate will get their menstrual period around two weeks afterwards. That's an average, though, and is not true for everyone.

Again, if you are still concerned about pregnancy I would suggest you go and get a test the same place you got the Nordette from. You were able to get that, so it should be easier to get this, or at least just as easy.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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miyukime
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i'm scared of what they will think of me:(
for sure they'll think i had sex or something
and i'm scared of pt and what if it's positive?

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20loves12

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Heather
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I'm pretty sure whoever sold you the Plan B thought that, too. After all, that's why people need that medication.

If it's positive, that won't change anything. In other words, if a person is pregnant, they are going to be pregnant whether they take a test or not. Not taking a test doesn't make a pregnancy go away.

I have been as clear with you as I can that what you have described is not a way pregnancy happens. So, talking about "what if" per a pregnancy with you is not a sound use of my time or yours, since it's not about anything real. But since you seem to want to know that what-if, the only way to do that is to take a test.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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