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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Loss in sex drive

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Author Topic: Loss in sex drive
Member # 96202

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Hi there

I'm not sure what's going on with my body right now, I've always had a really high sex drive and suddenly it's plummeted to nothing. It's totally freaking me out. My partner (boyfriend) is having a really hard time with it (completely respecting my boundaries but emotionally really worried) and that's making it worse. I'm under stress right now and going through a transitional period but I've been through much, much worse so I feel like it might not be that. It's been going on for a couple months and keeps getting worse. It's hard because I can't tell if I'm depressed because of this or if this is a result of being depressed.

Any ideas? Thank you so much

Posts: 9 | From: Chicago | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

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Hi red right,

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this, since it sounds like you've got some other stressful stuff going on (although I am glad you're partner is being supportive). I wouldn't rule the stress out entirely as a factor here, but it's definitely not my place to diagnose you. A decrease in sex drive can be related to a number of things, and often situational factors (like stress) play a role

You mention you've been feeling depressed and stressed and that you're wondering how this might be connected to your decrease in sexual desire. Have you been seeing a counselor or otherwise accessing support for those emotions?

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Member # 96202

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Thank you for the response!

No, I wish I could, but I can't afford that right now. I've looked into free counseling but it never seems to work out due to criteria or distance.

I know you can't diagnose me, but are there physical things that can cause this? I recently had an external and internal ultrasound because ive been having random sharp pains in my vulva/uterus and the test turned out 100% normal.

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Executive Director & Founder
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There are some health issues that can cause decreased desire for sex, like thyroid problems, for example. You can certainly discuss this with whatever reproductive healthcare provider you have been seeing to see if this is about illness.

But most often, these changes are not about the physical, but something psychological or situational, like depression, issues within relationships, and the kinds of stresses you are saying you have been under.

That all said, lack of desire for sex is also just something that happens sometimes, so if and when it has been going on for less than, say, a month or two, it isn't something I would say most sex therapists would see as a cause for concern or investigation.

[ 02-11-2014, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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