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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Period and its meaning

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Author Topic: Period and its meaning
KoreyA
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Member # 108779

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Hello Again,

As previously established and with the resources on the site, I have come to the conclusion that me and my girlfriend did indeed NOT have a pregnancy risk, but that little daemon in the back of my head keeps making me ask the "what if" question and this is because of symptoms.

Her period was due the 26th October, she ended up getting it on the 1st November, along with quite a bit of abdominal pains, more than her usual period and she said the period was also heavy and lasted a full 5 days.

The "incident", which is said to not be a risk, happened on the 18th October.

Currently, 24th November, its been more than a month since the incident and I just have some questions.

She says her breasts feel bigger, I couldn't find anything about that on this site, but of course Google says YES PREGNANT, but I would like to hear if you guys consider this a pregnancy symptom?

The other symptom is that she says she has been loosing weight, and again, Dr Google says that's confirmed pregnancy, would just like to know what a real professional has to say about the matter?

Also I have read on here that if a girl has gotten at least one menstrual period that means they are not pregnant. I want to know, the incident was only 8 days before the predicted period and would the short time maybe of made the period... unreliable?

Also if her period was late(which it was), does that matter, or is a late period as good as an on time period when it comes to determining that she isn't pregnant?

Ideally I would want to see a negative on a test, but we are unable to obtain a test or go to a healthcare provider, so would that late period be enough to judge that she isn't pregnant?

Thank You all again.
KoreyA

[ 11-23-2013, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: KoreyA ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Stop using a search engine around this stuff. Especially if you are getting the answers you are, because that tells me you're using it very poorly, or going to places that truly are not credible. If you want to let go of some of these worries, you can't keep doing things that you know will drum them up more.

People gain and lose weight for all kinds of reasons. Breast growth is also normal in young people with breasts.

Getting a menstrual period is almost always as clear a not pregnant as a person cagey. The most accurate thing, of course, is a pregnancy test. If you two can't let go of this worry, that is the step I would advise taking next. If you cannot figure out a way to do that, I would be happy to help you brainstorm around that so you can.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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KoreyA
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Thank you Heather,

It is just that even though there was no risk, I would like to instead of "Accepting" there was no risk, which I truly believe there wasn't. I would rather see the physical confirmation(Our case specific) if you know what I mean.

The issue of the pregnancy test is this, In our country we need to be 21 or over and married in order to buy a pregnancy test, I for sure do not agree with this rule as I see it being extremely narrow minded, but that's besides the point.

And I'm sure you can understand that telling our parents to buy us a test is a little difficult to do.

So I was just wondering, is a period, late or normal, just as definitively "not pregnant" as a negative test?

Thank You again.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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We can't say that it is, because a pregnancy test tests specifically for pregnancy. At the same time, pregnancy tests are relatively new. For most of the vast human history we have, having periods, or not, have been the way people have figured out whether someone may or may not be pregnant before months in when it usually becomes very clear.

But when you know you have not done anything that could have posed a risk in the first place, and the person who you worry may be pregnant is having periods, there also really should not be any more questions, because pregnancy very clearly is not something happening in reality.

But it sounds like, moving forward, you two are not in a good place or space to be being sexual together, if you are going to worry this much about things that aren't realities AND you can't access things or services you'd need to be able to feel okay about this, you know? If you have not already, I would suggest stepping away from any sexual activity now until you both feel way less scared and have the things you need to feel better, okay?

[ 11-24-2013, 09:31 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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KoreyA
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Thanks again Heather

Ye we have already gone over everything, like what we are going and not going to do, I think what scared me the most was the fact that I was close to something dangerous without being properly educated and I just wasn't sure about what poses risks and not, so I can't now peacefully say that I can trust all my judgement that day because I relized that my sex Ed wasn't what it should of been. That's why instead of trying to figure out what I think we did and didn't, it will be much more comforting getting a post event yes or no if you understand me.

I guess I will just have to accept that she can't be pregnant and have gotten her period. Meaning regardless what happened, risk or not, she is fine.

Please let me know if I understand that correctly?

Thank you

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Heather
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I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean or are asking for at the end of that second paragraph. Can you try asking me for whatever it is you are differently? Thanks.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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KoreyA
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No I'm sorry I am just repeating myself, just my paranoia, thank you for all the help, I am going to wait for her next period and when that comes I can be very sure that everything is fine.

Because am I correct when I say the more periods she has the less the chances are, and yes I know we are dealing here with pretty much no chance right after the first period.

Thanks for the support heather.
Much appreciated!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sure thing, Korey, you hang in there. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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