Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » what does sexual attraction feel like?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: what does sexual attraction feel like?
le pastie de la bourgeoisie
Neophyte
Member # 107536

Icon 1 posted      Profile for le pastie de la bourgeoisie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
this may seem like a strange or obvious question but i genuinely don't know. i mean, i'm fairly certain that i know, as a female-bodied person, what arousal feels like, but i'm really not sure how it would feel to feel it directed at a person or thing.

is it just being aroused in the presence of someone? is it actually wanting to touch them, or for them to touch you? what does it feel like emotionally? is it supposed to feel good emotionally as well as physically? can you be aroused by something even if you're repulsed by it emotionally, or morally, or in any other sense? this is something i've never really seen covered and i really don't know where to begin.

[ 10-24-2013, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: le pastie de la bourgeoisie ]

Posts: 8 | Registered: May 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think the thing with this is that there isn't ever going to be one answer, because, on the whole, all we can really talk about is what it feels like for an individual, and what their experiences of what it has felt like have been like, you know?

But if we want to try and talk more generally, I think that "strong interest" is something common we can lead with. In other words, even in its diversity, sexual attraction generally will fee, to most people, like a strong interest in being sexual with -- whatever that means to you -- another person. Or in feeling sexually excited by, drawn to, or connected to that person in a way that pushes the buttons of what you know, so far, to be your sexuality, or some part of it.

By all means, we can feel sexually attracted to people we might not like otherwise, or feel connected or drawn to in other ways. That can happen, just like we can NOT feel sexually attracted to someone who, for example, we may feel romantically attracted to.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
le pastie de la bourgeoisie
Neophyte
Member # 107536

Icon 1 posted      Profile for le pastie de la bourgeoisie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
this made sense to me when i first read it, but now, coming back to it, i have another question. if "strong interest" is really the only common factor, would it be true that the experience of sexual attraction varies not only from person to person but from case to case even when it's being experienced by the same person?
Posts: 8 | Registered: May 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Molias     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This will certainly be true for many people. Someone might not feel the same kind of sexual attraction to everyone they're sexually attracted to; they may want to be sexual with different people in different ways, or have more intense feelings for one person than another.

It's also likely that anyone might feel varying levels of sexual desire and attraction to one particular person at different times, based on a wide range of factors.

I think the more someone experiences and recognizes their own sense of sexual attraction, patterns will become more obvious, but there aren't many instances where I think you can make sweeping generalizations about what it'll feel like.

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it can help to remember that we aren't attracted to the same things in every person. We might find some common threads over time, but all by itself, because people vary so much, and what attracts us to people - what elicits our interest, makes us feel drawn to a person, stimulates certain feelings we can have - is also variable, the experience of feeling those attractions is way more likely to vary than not.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen