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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » I'm just not sure of anything anymore. Please Help me.

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Author Topic: I'm just not sure of anything anymore. Please Help me.
PinkyPieStarshine
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Well I'm currently struggling with depression - so all what i seem to think to be the end of all, just probably isn't so I'll try to describe as much as possible.

About 2 weeks ago I had completely protected sex, condoms were used the entire time, with lube, with no slips or tears and we withdrew before ejaculation every time perfectly as well and did other stuff.

I know the chances of pregnancy from this are very slim, but I'm stressed I won't get my period this month. It's due in a few days and I don't have any of my regular symptoms.

That being said could stress cause any issues with it?

Also I went to the Doctor yesterday because ( TMI Warning) I noticed after said encounter 2 weeks ago I noticed what I learned to be part of my vaginal tissue hanging out due to friction. I have never heard of this ever in my life as he's my only partner ever and I've never had a baby.

Along with that I was given medicine for a yeast infection and BV [Frown]

Could these affect my period too? and that even a real thing? We use latex condoms and a water based lube - but since I'm " very sensitive" down there do I have any other condom/ lubricant options? will I even get a period this month coz of all of this??


Any help, on any of this at all, is appreciated [Frown]

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Heather
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Welcome to the boards, PinkyPieStarshine. [Smile]

Are you getting any treatment/support around your depression, for starters?

There are so many reasons periods can be late, but since yours isn't even yet, how about we table that discussion for now, and save it for if it is?

I'm not sure what you mean about your vaginal tissue hanging out, or what you mean about not having given birth. Did the doctor diagnose this? If so, what are we talking about here: hymenal tissue, a uterine prolapse, or....?

I'm not sure what you're asking about when you ask if something is a real thing: can you clarify for me?

I don't see any reason you'd not have your period this cycle based on any of this, though. Being ill -- like having an infection -- or the way we tend to manage stress poorly can impact menstrual cycles, for sure, but it's one of those it-might-or-might-not per if it does have an impact on the timing of cycles.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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PinkyPieStarshine
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Well I was recently prescribed a "happy pills" but I'm terrified of taking them as I don't want to get addicted or something.

But yeaaa, that's what my doctor told me during the visit.It's not my hymen or anything she said. She just said " torn tissues from friction" specifically. Granted sex isn't usually enjoyable to me due to pain - I still use plenty of lube so I don't see how I could have " tore/ripped" . It sound completely made up to me.

Could the latex maybe be an issue? or the Lube?

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PinkyPieStarshine
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My doctor also said " there was nothing to do but let it heal and the pieces will go back inside. there's no surgery or creams for it" .
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Heather
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Was this doctor an OB/GYN? Mind, if you're engaging in sex that hurts, and continuing to do that, then yeah, you're probably going to injure/hurt yourself -- even with using lube -- so we can talk about that if you like.

But I'm still not sure I understand what, exactly, the injury was here, especially since that language sounds very iffy to me coming from a sexual health provider, if that's what they are.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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Also, "happy pills?"

What medication were you actually prescribed? Most medications for depression, usually SSRIs, aren't addictive, and also really aren't "happy pills."

If you were prescribed a medication you don't want to take or have questions about, have you discussed that with your prescribing therapist/physician, so you can either work that out or talk about alternate treatments for you you DO feel comfortable with?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyPieStarshine
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I'm seeing a consuler so I'd rather just stick with that instead of the anti-depressant pills I was prescribed. It was a family practice doctor I usually go to, I figured I'd start there in hopes she'd transfer me to an obgyn. I don't really understand it either. Just called it vaginal tear and said to avoid any vaginal intercourse of any sort.

But I don't do anything extreme or anything. It just hurts. I really would like to discuss why.

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Heather
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Okay, so per the counselor, how about you talk to them about your concerns with the medication, whether layout eventually choose to use it or not?

With a possible or known vaginal injury, I would strongly suggest going to an OB/GYN instead, especially given that the way the GP addressed this sounds mighty iffy to me. They are halos someone to start with about the pain with any kind of sex you are having, so you can first rule out, or find, if that is the case, any physical issues that may be causing that pain.

If they determine it is not because of a health condition, then we can pick it up frothier and work out what IS going on, okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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Also, for future reference, you don't have to rely on a doctor offering up a referral to a specialist to see one. You can also either ask that general doctor to give you the referral or, unless you healthcare system or insurance requires a referral, seek out that kind of specialized provider on your own. This is generally particularly easy in most areas with reproductive and sexual healthcare, as most areas have clinics serving that area of care.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyPieStarshine
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Okay, then I will look for an obgyn, because it doesn't sound right to me that things will just " heal up and get pulled back inside".

But yes, I agreed to try the anti-depressants out in the future if things don't pick up.

There is no clear reason as to why sex hurts me though. I've been checked for that too. I think I'm just too terrified to enjoy it. Terrified of an unwanted pregnancy.So I tend to " zone out during sex " in my boyfriends words.

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Heather
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Not knowing what things look like, I cannot even guess at what is going on. It may be it is an injury much more serious that does need treatment, it may be that it really is just some abraded tissue, or hymnal tissue - which, if tissue is literally hanging, is most likely what it is - and is something that is not an injury or anything you need to do anything about or where there is anything to do.

But a competent sexual healthcare provider will use language, at the very least, to say what is going on which gives us that information. Right now, we do not have it

Per the pain, are you saying that for that, you HAVE been seen by a sexual and reproductive specialist who said there was not anything physical they could see as causing that pain?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyPieStarshine
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Yes I have. It's just a mental thing apparently .
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Heather
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Also, have you talked to your counselor about the sexual issues, including the pain? Depression tends to have a big impact on sexuality, including things like reduced libido, increased fear and issues with sexual response. So, while it may not be the only cause of this pain, or what sounds like you dissociating during sex (and if that is happening, I would strongly advise taking sex where that happens off the table for now, just like I would with any sex that is painful), it may well be a player here, perhaps even a big one,

[ 09-28-2013, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyPieStarshine
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Oh woow, I never even consider the relation to the two. I guess I really should bring that up to a counselor too. Thanks for all your help [Smile] Now I'll just wait for a period I guess and look into an OBGYN.
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Heather
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It can be really major for many people with depression, and is almost always some level of issue or impact per pretty much anyone with depression.

If you need help finding a sexual healthcare provider, we are also happy to help you with that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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PinkyPieStarshine
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I'd like that. Also , how soon is too soon to take an early home pregnancy test? The kinds meant " to be taken up to 5 days before your missed period! " . It's been 14 days since the encounter and my period is due This Tuesday.
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Onionpie
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Pregnancy tests are reliable starting two weeks after a risk, although waiting a bit longer than that will be a better guarantee of accuracy.
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PinkyPieStarshine
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Well It's been 2 weeks , so I tested using those darn expensive early detection home pregnancy tests - assuming they'd be more sensitive. They both came out negative this morning. But something still feels very very wrong.
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Heather
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Feels in what way? Obviously, whatever it is, you know pregnancy isn't the cause of these feelings given the results of the tests.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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