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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Wanting some reassurance and info

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Author Topic: Wanting some reassurance and info
Kathryn2425
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Hi! So about 2 weeks ago I went on a date with a guy who's my friend but now we are having problems, but we were at the movies and he started making out with me, which I really wasn't expecting to happen at all. He pulled me towards him and grabbed my butt as he was making out with me, which made me kinda uncomfortable. He then asks "did u feel that?" and I was like "feel what?" and then he said "nothing." I got really worried at that moment that he might have ejaculated in his pants. I was really worried about having a pregnancy risk with this because I was wearing extremely short shorts that didn't cover up much when this happened. I didn't touch my vulva or anything when I went to the bathroom but lately I've been paranoid about getting pregnant from not even doing anything at all. My period is due next week but I'm scared because I have not ovulated yet and I also got a yeast infection last week. Please help me to understand what does and doesn't pose risks of pregnancy because I'm really paranoid and Im really concerned that I might have had a risk of pregnancy. Thanks for providing me with your amazing site!
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September
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Here is an article that does exactly what you asked for: it lists which sexual activities can pose a pregnancy risk. Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

The short answer is that, since you both were fully clothed, there is nothing to worry about.

What I find much more worrying is this guy's behavior: he was being really pushy and disrespectful towards you. If you are still hanging out with this guy, I would urge you to reconsider whether this person is really a safe person for you to be with.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Kathryn2425
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Okay thanks for the info. And yes I'm actually not talking to him anymore because of what happened. I thought he was a nice guy at first but then I started to see that he really wasn't.
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Robin Lee
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I'm glad to hear that you're following your instincts and not talking to this guy anymore. [Smile]

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Robin

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Kathryn2425
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Sorry to bother you again, but my period is now late and I'm stressing out and I just wanted some reassurance to help calm me down so that I don't believe that I'm pregnant:( is pregnancy really only possible if semen gets in the vagina, and is that something that you would very likely remember or notice? Thanks again for your awesome website and helpful sex Ed
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Kathryn2425
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Sorry to bother you again, but my period is now late and I'm stressing out and I just wanted some reassurance to help calm me down so that I don't believe that I'm pregnant:( is pregnancy really only possible if semen gets in the vagina, and is that something that you would very likely remember or notice? Thanks again for your awesome website and helpful sex ed.
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Robin Lee
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Hi Kathryn,

Have you had another sexual encounter since the one you mentioned above? If not, what we've already talked about with whether you had a risk of pregnancy still holds true.

Would you like to talk about what makes you still so afraid of this?

Regarding your period, here's some information about late periods.

M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

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Robin

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Kathryn2425
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That was the only encounter I've had at all in the past 6 months. I'm sorry to keep asking you about it it's just that ive been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and I'm still paranoid. I still think to myself like "what if I got semen in my vagina that day somehow?" even though I know it's really highly unlikely. I guess I just wanted some reassurance and felt bad for even getting that far with that guy in the first place. I've also never had a period that was this late before:/
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Robin Lee
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Hi Kathryn,

Feeling bad about the sexual encounter certainly can exacerbate your anxious feelings. What do you feel like you need in order to feel at peace about that encounter and move on from it?

What sorts of things help you when you get anxious like this? I think you've said before that you have a therapist? If this is so, has your therapist given you any tools for dealing with anxiety?

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Robin

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Kathryn2425
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Honestly the only thing that would make me feel better at the moment would be getting my period. I've learned from this mistake and want to stay away from boys for awhile. My therapist usually tells me to be realistic with things like this and to write down what the facts of my situation really are.
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Robin Lee
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So, have you done what your therapist suggested?

Did you also take a look at the article I linked you to to read about all the different reasons periods can be late?

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Robin

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Kathryn2425
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Yes I actualy did but I'm gonna go see my therapist today because I can't get over this constant fear. And yes I did read te article but I'm still anxious:/
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Kathryn2425
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So should I just wait for my period since you've assured me that it will come?
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Heather
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There's truly nothing else you could do in that regard.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Kathryn2425
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Okay thanks Heather and Robin:) I'm really gonna try to work through my pregnancy scare anxiety and I will cross my fingers that my period comes soon:)
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Kathryn2425
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Okay so today I got the start of what I think is my period. It's only some spotting but is this normal to have on the first day of your period?
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September
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Yes, a period can start sometimes start slow with some spotting.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Kathryn2425
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I finally got my period last week:) thanks for all of your help! Is there a reason why my past few periods have been kinda irregular though?
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Heather
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There's no way on earth we could possibly know that. [Smile]

But *you* can certainly look at those patterns and look for some likely culprits, like increased stresses and not managing them well, changes in rest, eating or exercise/activity, recent illness, etc.

Of course, sometimes our cycles also just shift. We will rarely have cycles that are the same for a lifetime; instead, they'll tend to change up at least every once and a while, sometimes even radically.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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