Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » A little bit concerned

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: A little bit concerned
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 11 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Basically I've been really really anxious about pregnancy, I constantly worry. From this I can see I clearly ain't ready to be engaging in these acts I never used to be this anxious but for some reason if late I've been worried.

This month I haven't engaged in any other act other than fingering and oral really. After he finished himself of he did go and wash he's hands I always make him before he touches me. I'm sure everything was of but he fingered me and now I'm worried.

It's Been three weeks. Anyway today I thought my period had started. My period do some between 4/6 weeks and it's been four weeks and two days. It's started of a little brown, then was a deep / vibrant red it has been on a pad just nt a lot it was mainly when I went to the toilet and it was literally dripping out and was alot of the toilet paper.

After this I've had a little on the pad but it seems really light like its stopping. And although I know in my head I have no risk of pregnancy from what you have told me. I'm just so worried.

From what I have told you do you think this is definitely my period should I be worried?

I've lost my appetite, and I am feeling like a little heaviness on on my lower back and lower stomach almost like an aching. But it's not bad at all I don't know If I'm only analysing everything [Frown] like I'm stressin that I wanted my period to come but it's come and then I question is it my period and I freak out that it's stopping It doesn't look right I just look into every detail of my period :/

When people say stress can effect your period can it make it lighter? I don't know if you have to feels stressed I've just been thinking non stop about being pregnant without a break? And worried about the outcome and taking a test ( was goin to do one in a weeks time) I'm still going to do one after this bleeding to put my mind at ease

[ 09-16-2013, 03:56 PM: Message edited by: Mylah ]

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If and when someone is having what looks like menstrual flow from the vagina and it feels like what they know a period to feel like, and appears to happen on a cycle, then usually a period is what they are having. I hear you describing all of that.

Stress itself actually rarely changes periods, but the ways we act differently with stress can. However, that's not likely to impact the amount of flow, but that can change all by itself sometimes, and in a lifetime, will often.

You know, I've seen you spending a lot of time here, especially in people's threads where they are worrying about pregnancy. It's great to be helpful, but staying focused on a thing you're trying to let go of? Not helpful. If you want to do what you can to focus on something else...well, I'd suggest you do that, you know?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thankyou, yeah I agree I do like helping other people. But I do see what your saying that when it's something your worried about its something I should be taking my mind off of.

I just can't seem to do that the only time I thought I would stop thinking was when I'm asleep but even then I was dreaming about it.

It does sort of feel like a period like I previously stated I think it's me looking into it way to much and checking like every couple of minutes It's still their. It's been a stressful three weeks. The main reasons life helpin out when I can Is I know your sites gets busy, and I know when your in a situation scared about something you like havin the reassurance so when I see people being in my position I like helping them out as I know that's what I like when I'm their but again I truly do understand where your coming from

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
One thing we always learn when providing these kinds of services -- which isn't to say we're all great at it, or always great with it! -- is that you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others well.

It's like that bit when you fly in a plane and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before helping someone else: same deal. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah I do agree, I don't really know the best way to help myself.. Just as I talk myself into believe that theirs no chance... I go back to the same thing all over again. I can't wait till next weeks comes one I can see if my period lasted as it normally does and I can take a test.

The only other thing to take care of myself for now I guess is keepin my mind occupied on other things other than pregnancy. Do you definitely think it's time for me to take a step back from sexual things aswell. I think it's difficult like when your in a relationship with someone and you do want to do things. But although I feel great while going them.. A little after all the worries come back and I know that's not right. Even when I know the facts and generally do know how pregnancy happens and I can happily tell other people and help them but when I tell myself i don't believe it?

Also I feel I keep putting myself back in the same position since Christmas I've worried near enough constantly maybe one or two months I hadn't. But other than that even other month I've out my self through stress and worry taking test litrally made myself ill at one point. This may not be something your able to do. But I've told myself many times before I'm not going to put myself in this position again and then do. How can I like make sure I really don't do this again do you have any advice?

[ 09-16-2013, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Mylah ]

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think that any sex we choose to engage in should be sex we aim to have feel good to us, not just physically, but emotionally, before, during AND after.

And if we find out we don't feel good in any of those times or respects, we need to figure out what we need so that we can. And sometimes that may be not having some kinds of sex, not being in a given sexual relationship, getting more education or in-person support or yep, taking sex off the table period, sometimes.

But as well, if you're finding that rational thought isn't possible for you around this, you may also want to check in with a mental healthcare provider, especially if this is happening for you with more than just your sex life.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't know if this seems weird but with me I'm happy doing things to my boyfriend but not him doing things to me.. Not that I don't like it but if he don't do anything to me I know theirs no risk.. And I know when I do stuff with him he can't exactly get pregnant and theirs no risks and I do feel confortable with that.

But I do agree it should be good in them ways before and after and Ido find myself sometimes when he's doing things to me like even during I'm freaking out and I can never fully relax or hve a stress free mind when we do stuff. I think that's mainly because we are young I don't want to become pregnant because I do want to do things with my life

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Maybe make a list for yourself of ONLY the sexual activities you feel 100% (or awfully close, anyway) good about, before during and after? Then stick to only what's on that list for now?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I actually would have never thought of doing that but I do thinks that's a really good idea. Then as I begin to feel less anxious I can slowly start adding things on to the list.

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
We also have this handy list, too: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
[Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've decided to leave doing anything sexual Ive out myself through so much worry this month, and I'm making myself ill and I feel really unhappy to the point of break down [Frown]

My period has been for three days so far, First two days it was medium flow third day (today) it looks like it stopping and it's worrying as I normally last 7days. When people say they bleed through pregnancy is it anything like the bleeding I've explained above?

Also this wasnt something I planned 2days before this bleeding started my boyfriend touched himself not as in like (tossing himself of) but to put he's penis in he's trousers so I'm not sure if he touched anything else or if their was any pre cum their ( he had peed at least 3 times since ejaculation. Anyway he grabbed my bum cheek unexpectedly and I got all worried. I wiped as much as I could with the trousers I had on then a baby wipe. But even if heir was some on my bum cheek it couldn't make it was to my vagina right?

I'm asking because I want to be sure after this next month I can have a worry free month and not worry about my period not showing.

From what I've read on your site ( please correct me if Im wrong) you can only become pregnant from Intercourse, direct genitial contact, ejaculation on the vulva. And if their are loads of semen on fingers and put straight into vagina maybe then theirs some sort of risk.

But if you ain't having any direct contact with another genders (oppsitie) to yours your not engaging in sex that causes a risk of pregnancy. So without any of the things I mentioned above tht causes pregnancy if I haven't engaged in any of them I'm definitely 100% no chance in becoming pregnancy

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
With how pregnancy happens: You've got it. [Smile]

With the anxiety you've been feeling, sounds like you could benefit from some self-care. here are some ideas for taking care of yourself: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/selfcare_a_la_carte

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks robin, so without them things I mentioned theirs i100% no chance of pregnancy occurring?

You see what I mentioned about my period in that post is tht normal? When this bleeding stops I shall take a test anyway seeing as I have some at home to put my mind at extra ease [Smile]

Last question and when sites says genitals is that referring to your anus and like the iner part of your vagina like the clitors and so forth? If its not any of them parts its not your genitals basically

--------------------
Believe in yourself, because if you don't who else will?

Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mylah
Activist
Member # 108403

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mylah     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Also can stress shorten a period? I've bleeding for three days (including today) which looks like it's stopping mine usually last 7 days
Posts: 76 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Molias     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Because periods are an organic process and bodies are rarely entirely predictable, they can do all sorts of irregular things. It's not unusual for the occasional period to be shorter/longer/heavier/lighter than most others are, and looking for an exact reason why is probably just going to wind up in frustration - we often just can't know.

You're correct on your pregnancy risk assessment above.

Generally when we're talking about "genital contact" in terms of a pregnancy risk we mean the entire vulva area. Obviously the more "inward" the contact is, the greater the risk; a bare penis touching someone's outer labia poses less of a pregnancy risk than it would inside someone's vagina.

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen