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jparanoid
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Good day again. From my last post, I was able to determine that I do have a type of anxiety disorder, which i thank you very much about for making me figure out. For that reason, I have been trying to fight the urge of worrying about these things. However, 2 days ago, a day after my gf got off her period, we were being intimate with clothes on with me stimulating her clitoris by putting my hand under her shorts. During this time my shorts had a wet spot from my precum. My question again would be if there would be a pregnancy risk if I happen to touch the wet spot in my shorts then proceeded to stimulate her clitoris using my hands? Or would that be impossile because the sperm in my
precum, if there was any, would not be intact by the time it has gone through my brief and shorts?
PS: I also recall touching her first outside of her shorts prior to touching her inside, would that kill the sperm cells also?

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Karybu
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Based on everything we've told you in the past and the articles you've read, what do you think the answer is?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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That there is no risk at all, my thinking that there is a risk is irrational and that emergency contracetion is not even needed in this situation? [Smile]
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Karybu
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You're absolutely right. [Smile]

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Thank you again for clearing it up. There just is no way possible for her to be pregnant from this
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jparanoid
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I have one kast question though. When performing sexual intercourse while using birth control pills/ condoms, do those scenarios still carry pregnancy risks?
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Karybu
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Yes. There's no method of birth control that is 100% effective, so penis-in-vagina intercourse will always carry a risk of pregnancy. But if condoms and the pill are used, then that risk is very, very small.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Oh okay thank you. that was something that confused me a bit from the very start. Now i know that actually my scenario really has no risk, i'm being irrational again about worrying about something that has no chance of pregnancy, and that when there is penis in vagina intercourse even when people use condoms it actually carries a risk still:) Am i right in my conclusion? [Smile]
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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey jparanoid,

I guess we have tried to draw a bit a boundary here and as you seem to have noticed too, you do actually know the answers to the sexual health questions you have asked. You seem to be dealing with an anxiety which unfortunately fills you with a need for reassurance, and that is really tough. I'm sorry you're going through it.

The thing is, we only really want to be answering questions that will actually help you, and we actually aren't so qualified to directly help you with that anxiety ourselves.

Unfortunately "Am I right?" reads to me like another layer of reassurance for you to ask for. You have already felt able to turn to your own readings of the info we've given you to rightly conclude biological fact, which is great. But, having made that conclusion and asking for a double-check it kinda becomes a 'reassurance for a reassurance' which really we could repeat ad infinitum.

It'd be understandable given what you're going through, but are you seeing that too?

"Am I right?", after having made a conclusion, is similar to asking us if you should trust your own judgement. Often it really is sound to double check our decisions. But, for you, from what you've said to us thus far, the problem seems to be not whether you should trust yourself. Instead it seems to be a struggle to trust your judgement at all, given the anxious thoughts and feelings you're experiencing.

I feel like you're working hard. Even since your original post you seem much more self-aware and there's every reason you can make significant headway with this...

Have you thought much about where you could start seeking professional therapy?

[ 07-14-2013, 10:25 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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jparanoid
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Actualy that's exactly what i'm feeling. despite having all the facts right in front of me and despite knowing rationally and logically that my situation is not a risk at all, i seem to fail to trust myself in giving myself that reassurance.

Thank you for your concern. It really means a lot and yes:) I am actually considerig to go to my school's psyhology center. Being a psychology graduate myself, i seem to have this tendency to self diagnose myself, so it's better i think that i go to a therapist

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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I'm glad it makes sense. Good luck at the psychology center.

Especially when self-doubt is involved, helping ourselves can be extremely difficult to nigh impossible, so that's exactly what therapists are for!

[ 07-14-2013, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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jparanoid
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it's day 15 of her cycle and she said suddenly that she's been really wet or in my understanding is having increased vaginal discharge or cervical mucus. Is that an early sign of pregnancy? I'm really worried that I could have made her pregnant from touching that wet spot:(
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Robin Lee
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Hi jparanoid,

Can you go over the discussions you've already had with people here, as well as any reading materials you were given, to answer your question about pregnancy risks, plese? We've already given you the information you need to figure this out. [Smile]

As to discharges, these articles have a lot of information about different discharges and what they can mean.


Get With the Flow: All About FAM

Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions

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Robin

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jparanoid
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Thank you for clearing it up for me. Now i learned that there is absolutely no risk and no need for me to worry about pregnancy as well as vaginal discharge being more is something common in women:)
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Robin Lee
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you're welcome.

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Robin

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jparanoid
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I think i realized something today. The problem with me is not because i don't trust the content that scarletteen has or the comments of my friends, I believe that not only do I not trust myself but i am greatly disappointed with myself because i continually place myself into the position that I can ruin my life and my girlfriends life...
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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey j,

Unfortunately, discussing your unfair perception of yourself as a potential 'life-ruiner' veers right into the territory of mental health which is well outside of our scope as a sexual health website.

We might be happy to hear how therapy is coming along, and be able to offer a bit of practical insight if you had problems accessing that help or navigating the mental health system. But our training, primary focus and resources mean that the real issues underlying the problems you've discussed with us aren't something we can address or help with here.

So I would really encourage you to make an appointment with your doctor about this and to continue the effort you're putting in, with people who can actually help... I'm sure you wouldn't go to an STI clinic with a broken leg, even if we're good at what we do, that 'leg' isn't going to get any better over here.

Does that sound doable?

[ 07-21-2013, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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jparanoid
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Yes I do understand but thank you though for all the advice and the accurate facts regarding pregnancy risks that you have given to me:)
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jparanoid
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Guess what i scheduled a therapy session next week:) Thank you again for your accurate response regarding my situation which I am trying my best not to think about since in reality it is impossile to occur:)
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jparanoid
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I also asked my friend's mom and is a psychiatrist and she gave me something to help me with my anxiety. She told me that i should always remember that i'm living in the world of reality because my worries are things that are make believe and could possibly be grounded by something in my past. Thank you for helping me distinguish this reality:)
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Redskies
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Well done you for scheduling that appointment! I'm glad that you've felt able to seek help with this.

You're very welcome, and we're happy to help where we can.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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jparanoid
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Good day just an update. My gf's period is due tomorrow and she's been experiencing the usual pms symptoms the past few days. Today she told me she thinks her period will start anytime already cause she already had a mark of blood (more than spotting accordig to her), which normally happens to her everytime she gets her period. Assuming that this scenario was still way back in day 7 of her cycle and that it was no risk, would it be safe to say that this is her period coming and not implantation bleeding?
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Robin Lee
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How about waiting to see what happens over the next few days, okay? Also, if your girlfriend says that everything is pointing to her getting her period soon, it's sound to take her at her word and not second-guess her body or what she knows about it. [Smile]

Were you able to discuss your concerns at your therapy appointment?

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Robin

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jparanoid
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i was pointed towards worrying about this so irrationally not because i think it's possible but because i was guilty to do it again. I learned how my fear does not stem
from me knowing if she is pregnant or not because i know that from what we did it's impossible for her to get pregnant. Instead my fear stems from the guilt i feel which clouds my rationality. Due to this, this "mark of blood" I realized isn't a sign of implantation bleeding but a sign that her period will definitely come already because not only did we not do anything that could cause pregnancy but implantation bleeding from a risk that happened in cycle day 7 would have happened way before yesterday:)

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Robin Lee
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Sounds like you've got a lot of clarity on this. I'm glad to hear it. [Smile]

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Robin

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jparanoid
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Thanks for everything:) My girlfriend got her period yesterday:)
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jparanoid
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So for this month my girlfriend has not yet felt any period symptoms and she told me that her period last month was normal (she had heavy flow to the point that despite wearing a pad/napkin, she still ended up getting a blood stain on the bed). after this period we did not do anything sexual as we were not together since she was away. my question is would her last period be implantation bleeding? or would implantation bleeding be much noticeably different from a normal period and that one would not even need to wear a napkin for it?
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Molias
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As both Robin and Jacob have said in this thread, it's really not going to be helpful for us to keep reassuring you when we've given you the answers to these questions already. I think your best plan, here, is to keep seeking care for your anxiety and do your best to find (both on your own and with your therapist, who should be able to help) ways to relax and work through these worries you're having.

Asking us to repeat ourselves isn't going to help you in the long run. Because at this point, the issue isn't about the facts - you know the facts. It's about your anxiety, which we aren't equipped to help with.

Have you seen this article about self-care? I'd recommend that as a good place to start, while you wait for your next therapy appointment: Self-Care a La Carte

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