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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Anxiety Issues over something with no risk

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Author Topic: Anxiety Issues over something with no risk
Maddieee
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Member # 108091

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So I've always just kind of lurked around this site, but today I decided to join and ask my question directly... Here goes nothin'...
Long story short: My boyfriend and I were laying together, things got heated, both our pants came off (his boxers came off, too), but my underwear stayed on. His bare penis was rubbing my vaginal area while the underwear were on. He "came" about 30 minutes before we did this. I got what looked like and felt like my period a few weeks after the scare, but I am still kind of on edge. I just need to know if that was even a need for worry anyways. I read a couple articles saying as long as one partner has a layer of clothes, you're fine. But does that go for a bare penis rubbing against my vagina? That was the only barrier. I was also wet with my vaginal fluids, so could that create a clear pathway for semen and sperm to go through and impregnate me? Thanks

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-Maddieee :)

Posts: 5 | From: Florida | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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So, you can find out what the risk of pregnancy is from this (and that there isn't one) here -- Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? -- at the listing for clothed dry humping (frottage) or look here: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/clairep/2012/10/25/dry_humping_freakout

This idea you've got about "clear pathways" and semen when no one has ejaculated and such is imaginative, but it just isn't how conception works in reality.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Maddieee
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So, no risk? [Smile] Ahh, awesome! My boyfriend swears he didn't ejaculate... but would I have felt it if he did? I would think so, but maybe I was so caught up in the heat of the moment that maybe I wouldn't have felt it. Thanks for the reply, Heather [Smile]
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Heather
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Nope. [Smile]

But I hear you clearly feeling pretty freaked here, so I'd suggest that moving forward, perhaps you and your boyfriend rethink if this,or this way of doing this, are really working out for you. Sounds like it's not, given how you're feeling.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Maddieee
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Yeah, I think we just need to step back and enjoy being kids as we're only 16! & not have to be paranoid all the time [Smile]
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Heather
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If you haven't seen it before, this piece might help with that: Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Maddieee
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I'll have a look at that. But like I asked earlier, would I have felt the ejaculation *if* he wouldve? Thanks [Smile]

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-Maddieee :)

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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More to the point, HE would have. Just like you'd probably remember if you reached orgasm or not during a very recent sexual encounter.

So, unless you feel like you have some reason not to trust this guy -- and I don't see any reason for him to be dishonest about this -- I think you can take his word for this, let it go, and just slow down moving forward. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Maddieee
Neophyte
Member # 108091

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Thanks so much, Heather! Time to just let this whole fear go [Smile]

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-Maddieee :)

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