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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Scared I've made someone pregnant, really worried

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Author Topic: Scared I've made someone pregnant, really worried
Mystery_90
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I feel ashamed to say I used another person's sex toy, I was curious and I know it was a reckless thing to do but I'm worried that I have made this person pregnant and I'm worried sick, it's making me ill and I haven't been able to take my mind off it, I rinsed the toy with cold water after using it and wiped it with a towel and toilet paper I am paranoid if I left anything on it. How long would any fluids remain alive on it? Please help me, I'm sorry if the question is slightly disturbing to read.
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Robin Lee
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Hi Mystery_90
and welcome to Scarleteen,

That's not a way anyone can get pregnant.

To read about what is and isn't a pregnancy risk, take a look at this:

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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Also, what you're describing, while it can't get someone pregnant, can spread germs or infections, particularly since you don't describe using any sort of soap or cleaner on the toy before or after you used it.

So, for future reference, using someone else's toy really isn't a good idea for your health and for theirs. I'm not saying this to make you feel ashamed or anything like that.

Since you asked about the dangers, I wanted to let you know that while what you're fearing isn't possible, spreading infections is a very real possibility.

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Robin

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Mystery_90
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Thanks Robin for the reply I really appreciate it and you are exactly right about the whole hygiene thing it was selfish of me to use someone else's intimate belongings. So this scenario I've described definitely doesn't pose any pregnancy risks? Its just I've been worried about this for awhile and it's been upsetting me. Because my main concern was if their was anything left on it and it was just making me paranoid and just really hard to just let it go.
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Mystery_90
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Just to clarify, I have read about how sperm and semen can survive for different times, I have read on here that sperm can survive about 20 minutes, if I left some on and didn't rinse it properly would that still not pose as a risk or would it? And that for any real pregnancy risk their must be direct genital contact or semen contact, Im still just a little confused and abit worried, thanks for the previous answer its just i am still abit on edge about it.
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Mystery_90
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Sorry for the drawn out questions its just I do really want to get it out of my mind and forget about it and move on I know it sounds selfish but I do honestly regret it. Any help would be great thanks ��
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Redskies
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Have you seen this article? http://www.scarleteen.com/article/reproduction/whats_the_risk_easy_pregnancy_risk_assessments

In the section near the top called First Things First, one of the scenarios is really the same thing that you're asking about. Do you feel comfortable grasping that?

Sperm cells can't really do anything if they're not still in a glob of semen (the liquid). In order to fertilise an egg, sperm cells have to travel there, and they need to be transported by the semen. Even if there were a few sperm cells left on a wiped object, the wiping gets rid of the semen that they need to travel in, so those sperm cells won't be travelling anywhere and won't be fertilising anything. Dry semen has no pregnancy risk for the same reason.

Fluid contact is a pregnancy risk only if and when someone ejaculates onto someone else's vulva, or if they immediately put a handful of ejaculate on the vulva. Sperm cells are just not hardy enough to cope with any longer or more complex transmission method.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Molias
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As you said in an earlier comment, direct genital contact is required for pregnancy to be a possibility, and that didn't occur here.
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Mystery_90
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Hi their Redskies, thanks for pointing that article out, I have already read it and many others on this website ive just read so much stuff and been so worried I think I have just made myself incredibly paranoid and confused this website has been incredibly informative and helpful though. Thank you for your advice. So to sum it up if their is no direct genital contact or bodily fluids their really is no need to worry at all
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Redskies
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You're correct. Time to trust what you know and let the paranoia go [Smile]

And you're welcome.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Mystery_90
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Regarding this topic I am still a little worried, If their is at all any chance of this scenario causing pregnancy, the reason being is that because obviously the sex toy would be inserted into a woman's genitals and that im worried if anything was on it could it make someone pregnant? I Understand the topic has been spoken about, its just in worried if their would any risk at all or is it risk free? And should it warrant any worrying at all?
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Mystery_90
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I appreciate the replys I have been given so far and they given me some faith in believing that its not possible its just im scared because i don't want to feel that i could destroy someone's life because of something selfish and stupid i did. �� I know their probally isn't a definite answer its just their is a part of me saying their is a chance and im feeding of that i still feel worried.
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Heather
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Really, at this point I think all we can do is suggest you do whatever it is to calm yourself and work yourself out of anxiety when you are experiencing it.

But we've found, when users get in panics like this, that simply repeating the same answers again and again, or saying the same thing a bunch of different ways doesn't tend to be effective, and it also just isn't a sound use of our time or resources.

We've already given the answers to this clearly, so now I'd say your next step is figuring out what you need to do to calm yourself down, and stop focusing on this.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Mystery_90
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Hi their heather, sorry for the constant rehashed questions I really do appreciate the help you have given me and Im sorry for wasting any of your time, I guess its up to me to get out this anxiety ive worked myself into. Its just with all the worry i have been doing its been great to vent it. Thanks again for you advice its a great thing you are doing here.
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Heather
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Well, you're welcome to vent it all you like, I'd just ask you aim not to keep asking us the same questions again when we've already answered them for you. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Mystery_90
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Hi their heather one thing I am still abit lost with is how long any sperm or semen would stay alive for on the toy in question, would say an hour left out or left in a drawer be sufficient time to kill anything on it, i am calming down some its just i feel i can put it behind me if i know some other facts. Thanks for any advice, im just asking because I don't think I got an answer to this question thanks again i appreciate it. [Smile]
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Heather
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Like I said, this is not a way someone is going to get pregnant, and those ARE the facts.

If the answers we've given you, and the links with them, still haven't answered your questions, this one might: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/patricia_h/2013/03/21/whos_afraid_of_sperm_cells

But mostly, it still seems like what you've got to do at this point isn't more research, but more work on taking care of your fears and letting them go.

(Additionally, if you haven't told this person yet you did this, some of this might be guilt, which you could perhaps alleviate by telling them. Since this DOES pose concerns with infections and bacteria, telling them is actually important.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Mystery_90
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Hey their, I appreciate the answers and I don't mean to insult anyone's intelligence I was just confirming to say that I am Male, its just I don't think I was clear about it in my question although its obvious a woman wouldn't be able to get another woman pregnant of course, I just wanted to make sure the answers I have are based on the fact I am a male that used a females sex toy on my genitals. Im just asking to confirm that, thanks.
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September
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Mystery, we did understand what you are asking. Have you read the article Heather linked you to? That should answer your previous question.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Mystery_90
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Yep I have read that Thank you, I am still unclear on how long any sperm would survive for it says in the article if sperm is exposed for 1 hour chances are you are someone else isn't pregnant, but in other posts it says sperm and semen die in 20 mins or lose the ability to impregnate im just a little confused between the difference in the answers?. Thanks again and im sorry for making such a silly statement I was just unclear if i had got my question across clear enough, my mistake.
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Kachina
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Those answers aren't different. Did you ejaculate onto a toy and then use it on someone? And I think you are thinking about sperm wrong... Our articles don't say "sperm and semen die in 20 mins" because semen is not "alive" like a bacteria or something. Sperm are just reproductive cells inside semen, the substance they are in and that is necessary for keeping the sperm viable for co-creating a pregnancy.

We are going to have set a boundary with this. Please do not ask us the same question anymore. Our answer is the same.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Mystery_90
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No I didn't use the toy on anyone I rinsed it with cold water wiped it with a towel and toilet paper and put it back. Im just frightened I might have left anything on it and im sorry It wont be asked again. Thanks for the response.
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Mystery_90
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Thanks again for all the comments on this topic I feel terribly guilty for tearing you away from other urgent matters, all the info here has helped me to things alot more clearly, I just need to work on my anxiety it seems. You really have been a fantastic help. Thank you, you have all been lovely people and have been very patient with me.
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Robin Lee
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There's no need to feel guilty here. [Smile]

I'm glad to hear you feel like you got what you needed. [Smile]

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Robin

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