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Author Topic: Curious
jparanoid
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Good day again. I was just curious as to when symptoms of STDs would start? My girlfriend and I have not had any direct genital to genital contact yet nor any penetration whatsoever, but last night i was stimulating her clitoris. Then today she suddenly had a rash on her vaginal opening. I did wash my hands however before i touched her down there. However prior to touching her I also placed tissue paper in between my brief and my shorts so as to not leave a stain, but then while we were still making out at the start, I had to stand up to get something. At that moment the tissue fell to the floor, so I picked it up and placed it on the table. Taking into consideration that the tissue could have had absorbed even the slightest bit of precum, would the process of me touching it and placing it on the table prior to touching her clitoris cause her to have an infection? However when I did touch the tissue it was dry. Thank you
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Heather
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Most of the time, for most people, with most STIs there are NOT any noticeable symptoms. That's one reason why testing is so important.

A rash or reaction like that likely isn't about an infection, though. When STIs do involve symptoms, they aren't instant that way.

It sounds much more likely that if her vulva looked redder, that was just from arousal -- which happens -- or an allergic reaction to something on your hands, like a soap or lotion you may use.

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jparanoid
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Oh okay okay. So in terms of symptoms for STIs it doesn't happen immediately the day after right? Because based on my knowledge that you were able to give me in one of my former posts I know that pregnancy is not an issue because i did not even touch the precum on my penis. Instead what I touched could only possibly be precum that has been filtered by my brief and was absorbed slightly by the tissue due to my touching of the tissue. I'm just concerned if from touching the tissue could I have passed her a sexually transmitted infection? Or it just doesn't happen that way?
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jparanoid
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Furthermore, I also do not know how a person can have an STI? Because as for me, I have never had sex with anyone and have only been intimate with this girlfriend of mine, since she is my first girlfriend. In addition to this, she also hasn't been intimate with anyone except for me.
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Heather
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In order to transmit a sexually transmitted infection, someone has to have one in the first place. They don't come out of nowhere, and they don't start on tissues.

So, unless you, yourself, have a sexually transmitted infection, and then your partner has contact with your skin or fluids, she can't get an STI from you. make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jparanoid
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Yes but how can one get a STI?
Also she said that she has noticed that she's been needing to pee a lot today

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jparanoid
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Regarding about tissues, how about the precum that the tissues absorbed? could ithave transferred to my hands and caused her to have something or a pregnancy? Or that's just not possible?

Sorry for being so repetitive, I just feel really stressed

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jparanoid
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COnsidering that I have not had intercourse or any kind of sexual activity with any other girl and that she was the only girl I have ever kissed, does that clear me for any STIs?
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jparanoid
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COnsidering that I have not had intercourse or any kind of sexual activity with any other girl and that she was the only girl I have ever kissed, does that clear me for any STIs?
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Molias
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The thing about some STIs is that while they are primarily transmitted sexually, some can be transmitted through more casual contact. If you look at this article: STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes and click through on the STIs that can be potentially transmitted through manual sex, you'll see that some of those can be spread through nonsexual casual contact. We can't tell if you do or don't have any; you'd have to get tested to know that.

Now, based on what you've said, I don't see any reason to think that's what's going on here. If your girlfriend's having urinary issues or a rash, she can certainly talk to a doctor about that, but it doesn't sound connected to any transmission of something from you to her.

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jparanoid
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However, regarding symptoms of these STIs they don't show immediately the day after contact right? It usually takes time to show due to the incubation period if I am not mistaken?
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Patricia H
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That is correct. In fact, a quick Google search will give you a general sense of incubation periods for common STIs. Here's one I pulled up for you:

STD Window guide

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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. - Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

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jparanoid
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Okay thank you:) And with regard to pregnancy risks, my situation has no pregnancy risks right? Because my precum didn't come in direct contact with her vulva but instead got filtered by my brief, got absorbed by the tissue, was exposed to the air, and only then did i touch the tissue when it fell to the floor prior to stimulating her clitoris?
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jparanoid
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Furthermore, my last question would also be whether passing on an STD is possible through my touching of a toilet paper with the slightest bit of dried precum, then stimulating my girlfriend's clitoris
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jparanoid
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Hi:) sorry to be persistent but was just wondering if there's any response to my last two questions? [Smile]
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Heather
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Just FYI, as you might have noticed at the bottom of the board, it's mostly just me this week, all by myself, especially during the day. So, as I noted there, things might take a little longer. I'd appreciate your patience: thanks!

No, this does not pose pregnancy risks, as made clear in many, many pieces on the site about what does and doesn't pose those risks.

As well, like I already explained, what you're talking about here with the toilet paper is not how we'd generally see STIs transmitted. Can we say it's impossible? No. But then neither is a dinner party where alien life is in attendance or me winning the lottery. At the same time, I'm not going to be holding my breath waiting for those things to happen. [Razz]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jparanoid
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Okay thanks heather:) sorry for being impatient was just worried a bit:) that did ease up my worries though:) thank you:)
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jparanoid
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Hey heather:) guess what the rash of my girlfriend went away already and we also talked about our sexual actvities and decided to maximize our time with each other and lessening the amount of physical action:)

However I would just want to clear my mind as to whether i did something irresponsible in terms of pregnancy or i was still being responsible because i did not put us in any situation that has a pregnancy risk? Just asking this because of this guilt i feel inside again of potentially affecting our libes grealty in a negative way:( Hoping for your soon response:)

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Heather
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Hey there. [Smile]

Like I already said above, what you posted about here isn't something that poses pregnancy risks.

I don't know what you mean by responsible or irresponsible in this context, beyond taking risks of pregnancy or not, so if I'm missing something, feel free to fill me in. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jparanoid
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Oh i just meant that responsible/irresponsible in terms of practicing an actvity that could have cause my girlfriend to be pregnant. However based on your sound advice as well as the comments of some of my closest friend, i know that precum that has been absorbed by my brief, absorbed by the tissue, exposed to the air, touched by my hand, and only then did my hand touch the vagina is just not how pregnancy happens. The sperm in my precum, if there was any would already been kept at bay by my brief as an initial barrier. HAHAHA. Sorry if i sounded a bit irrational again
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jparanoid
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Oh and just a correction it was the clitoris that i stimulated. I still didn't put my hand inside the vagina:). Thank you again heather:)
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Karybu
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You're correct that nothing you did poses a pregnancy risk.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Oh okay thank you:). So i should stop worrying about this because pregnancy from this just isn't possible at all:)
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Karybu
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Yep, you've got no reason to be concerned about pregnancy here.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Okay thank you very much:) so in my situation there is a 0% chance of her being pregnant from what happened right? [Smile] cause the sperm in precum, if there was any would already been stopped by my brief let alone absorbed by the tissue which i just touched to pick up because the tissue fell of the floor? [Smile]
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Karybu
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That's correct.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Okay thank you for your sound and informative answer:). Has scarletteen though ever come across a situation where someone has gotten pregnant from manual sex?
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Karybu
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Not that I'm aware of, no.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Okay thank you so much for answering all my questions. I just really tend to be irrational sometimes and have this fear that I ruined my girlfriend's life cause of holding tissue paper...
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Karybu
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You really, truly haven't.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jparanoid
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Thank you very much for giving me reassurance that i can rely on for accuracy:) it really means a lot:)
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jparanoid
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Hi again. i'm just really paranoid and still can't get over it because i feel like i've really ruined the life of my girlfriend, my family, and her family:(. But it's impossible for her to get pregnant from what happened right? Like i didn't do anything irresponsible to put her in a situation that could have gotten her pregnant right? [Frown]
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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey jparanoid,

I think from what we've already said in this thread you should be able to answer those questions on your own.

You speak about about everyone's lives being 'ruined' and there is a severity to what you're worried about that just doesn't match the realities. My guess is that comes from how severely anxious you're feeling. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way.

I would say you're the exact opposite of irresponsible (i.e. someone who doesn't take enough responsibility for their actions), from what we've said here it seems you're taking way more responsibility than is at all reasonable for stuff that poses no risk at all. That is a lot of weight to carry... and you identify that as paranoia. And that comes from somewhere, it can be a survival mechanism to some difficult experiences or it can just be a way of thinking that propels itself through your worries or something else. But it is real.

If you identify the paranoia as the problem (not pregnancy risks and not irresponsibility)... that doesn't make it go away instantly, but it is a really good start.

Have you thought about approaching those feelings instead of the pregnancy stuff?

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jparanoid
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I did. In fact, some of my friends said that i'm worrying about the wrong thing because pregnancy in this scenario is really impossible. The fact that i still worry about it like it's the end of the world is something that is quite unusual. Iam
actually considering seeing a psychologist to discuss this because it is really affecting me like crazy. However, in terms of reality wise, it really is impossible right? like a normal individual would not even think of pregnancy during these situations?

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September
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I think seeking out some help in dealing with your anxiety is an excellent idea!

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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