Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » PLEASE HELP!!! I'M SCARED AND NEED HELP SOON!!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: PLEASE HELP!!! I'M SCARED AND NEED HELP SOON!!!
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 9 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First I know that you guys like for people to read all the info like the articles that you guys wrote and other threads before we post anything. And I'll just tell you all right off the bat that I have read everything many times over, however still cannot find comfort. This will be long, but because I have read enough on this website to know that you guys are understanding and only have the intention to help me. So I ask that you please help me so I can move on and enjoy my life. Thank you in advance.

So this all started early Tuesday morning (5/28) by early I mean around 1-3 A.M. This was the time I had unprotected sex with one of my ex girlfriends. It was both of our first times, so no STD's for sure. Well, she gave me oral, but I did not ejaculate! However I may have had pre-ejaculate, as I didn't even bother to check the tip before I put it into her. Well it was the heat of the moment, and without a condom and my stupidity higher than ever in my entire life I put it in once, it didn't even go in completely as she pulled it out before it got in all the way (about 2/3's in). But from reading all the threads on this site, ANY contact a bare penis has with a bare vulva is a potential risk for pregnancy. So being the guy that I am I text her the day right after that and do extensive research about pregnancy, how it happens, why, etc. (during this time I had no idea this site existed) Well turned out I marked her ovulation (by cervical mucus she told me she had) to May 23-25 which meant that if she had ovulated her eggs could not have been fertilized. This relieved us, and during this time I rethought basically my entire life and how I could have come to this. I vowed to change, and prayed to the Lord soo much. Sure enough, she got bleeding on June 5. I asked her what kind of bleeding it was, she said it was heavy. This was more than enough for me to say goodbye to her and never talk to her again and now looking back, that had to be the most bastardly thing I've ever done in my life. But it was a bad memory I just wanted to forget, and I felt as though forgetting her would be the best way to forget it. Sure enough even more time went by and I was relaxed, and enjoying my life. But there was that lingering thought... Did I get her pregnant. Well sure enough one night (6/23) my thoughts got the better of me. I got pregnancy tests (First Response-pack of 3) and gave them to her and told her to take them. She did around 4 A.M on Monday (6/24). It came out negative. So I told her to wait, and take one again this coming Thursday (6/27) in the morning. A part of me knows it will be negative. Then again, another says it will be positive. I blame the part that says it will be positive due to the stories I read on the internet before I found Scarleteen. On the web some women would not get a positive pregnancy test even though they were up to 5 weeks pregnant and +. I kept doing research and found that this could be due to some women not producing enough HGC even this late into the period. How likely is that? By now I know what you're saying, "She had bleeding that was heavy how could you still think she's pregnant?!" Well I'm just VERY paranoid. When I asked her about her period the day I went to go buy the pregnancy tests (6/23-24) she said she remembers it ending on Sunday (6/9), but she doesn't remember anything else, but that it felt like a normal period for her. I just don't think I can trust her. I had to tell her the date her the date she started bleeding for her to "remember" it was on Sunday. Additionally, I know that you guys on here stress that this is extremely rare but could it have been implantation or decidual bleeding? After all, she did get this bleeding basically just a week after we had unprotected sex. The really big question here is, if it was implantation or decidual bleeding, shouldn't her HGC levels be high enough for a pregnancy test to find it? She's going to take the test on Thursday morning, a second negative would verify it for sure right? Or could her HGC levels be low even this far after we had sex?

Please help me, I need some reassurance, relief, and just some advice. I want to go on with my life and enjoy it please just help me. I can't stay in the same room when the television or somebody mentions babies, or being pregnant. Just please give me some reassurance, and help. I am posting on this site because I believe you guys are the best people to help me without telling my parents or anyone else. Thank you in advance if you read this and help me, it means so much more than you could realize. Any questions I'll answer as soon as possible. Thank you.

Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Pregnancy tests, as long as they are used according to the directions, are very accurate, and false negatives are very rare. If she were pregnant, the chances of getting a negative test result at this point are really very tiny. She's had a period since, to boot: it's pretty clear she's not pregnant. (Implantation bleeding is spotting, and not period-like bleeding. Decidual bleeding also tends not to resemble a period.)

That said, it seems like reading up on pregnancy risks and the results of the test haven't helped you, so what else do you think you need to ease your worry about this?

[ 06-26-2013, 01:55 AM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you Karybu!

Honestly just a definite answer such as that one is what I needed. I've been doing all the research by myself and I haven't told anyone. So just getting reassurance from someone else is really nice.

So by now the Hgc has to be high enough to be detected right? She's going to take a test on Thursday, and if it's negative she's not pregnant right? And if I still don't feel assured then I can wait until she gets her next period right? Which should be sometime around next week.

Thanks!

Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Given that she's had a period, and two negative pregnancy test, you can already be sure that she is not pregnant.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
But what I'm concerned about is the Hgc hormone not being strong enough to be picked up even this late. She's testing again tomorrow, hoping it's negative. I'll keep you guys updated.
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
after a month, there'd be more than enough HCG for a test to detect. That's just not an issue here.

If tomorrow's test comes out negative, will that settle it for you?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, I believe that you guys are right. Negative tomorrow and I need to drop it and move on. I really wish I found this website before I read on other websites that some women still get negatives 6 weeks after they get pregnant because of low hcg.
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
But should it settle it for me Robin?
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, based on the information you've received here, do you think one more test should settle things for you?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes. The levels should be high enough like you said. Thank you all!
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So just to clarify 30 days after unprotected sex, a negative pregnancy test = absolutely accurate?
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi mrthompson12345,

I feel like we're going round in circles here, talking about the same questions over and over again.

So, since our answers are going to continue being the same unless you give us new information you didn't give us before, I need for you to come up with your own answers based on the conversations we've already had. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sorry, ok. She's taking a test tomorrow, so if that's negative I'm sure she's not. I'll keep you guys updated.
Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrthompson12345
Neophyte
Member # 107797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mrthompson12345     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's a negative!!

I am largely convinced that it's a accurate answer and that she is not pregnant. Any advice how I can move on past the small portion of me that is still paranoid and just forget about this whole thing?
Thank you all so much! [Smile]

Posts: 9 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, for one, you'll need to stop talking about it.

In other words, if we stay focused on something, we can't let it go. So, how about you take a break from asking about it here, or looking it up elsewhere, and focus on all the other things in your life right now?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen