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Author Topic: Please help, scared and confused about pregnancy.
SarahEsjay
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Hi there, I'm new here so I hope this is posted in the correct forum and all!

A few months ago, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I don't regret this at all, we have a strong, trusting relationship, but ever since then, I've been TERRIFIED that I'm pregnant.. We use a condom, and I'm on the pill. But I'm still extremely scared and I make myself sick from anxiety. I have taken 3 pregnancy tests, and they're all negative. But this doesn't even offer relief. If I was pregnant, I would be 2 months pregnant now, almost 3. And I my pregnancy test from a week ago was negative.. Are there any chances that that test could be wrong if I were 2 months pregnant? I probably sound like a crazy person, but this is really getting to me.. My parents now think that I might have depression from the stress, and I've contemplated suicide during my panic attacks.. I've gotten my period through all these months, and it's right on time and lasting 5 days, but I don't feel "normal".. My period isn't the same as it was before I had sex (I don't know how to fully explain it) but I was told it could be from stress.. I have a problem speaking to people in person, so this seems like the best place to get a little advice. I'm really lost and confused, it's affecting my every day life and I would really appriciate any advice..

Thanks :)

Posts: 6 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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Hi SarahEsjay and welcome to Scarleteen,

So, just to sum up: Even though you know it is highly unlikely, you're still terrified that you're pregnant.
Am I understanding you correctly?

Have you experienced this level of anxiety about other things before?


If you're having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, that's something that you absolutely need to see a qualified healthcare provider about. That's not something we're able to or qualified to help you with here.

I know it's tough talking to someone in person, but that's really what you need to do. Do you have a doctor or other healthcare provider with whom you can make an appointment?

And yes, you would expect a pregnancy test to be accurate now. pregnancy tests will show an accurate result when taken 14 or more days after sexual activity.

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Robin

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SarahEsjay
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Yes, that sums it up.

I have suffered with an eating disorder for 6 years that I'm still in recovery from. I have extreme anxiety about my appearance and eating, which is simular to this anxiety, I guess.

It costs quite a lot of money to speak to a doctor, the free healthcare isn't reliable here. I just struggle with speaking to family about this, I'm trying to find a way to tell them.

Thank you though, I needed to know if a pregnancy test would be correct by now. Google gives you many scary results when it comes to pregnancy.

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Robin Lee
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Yes, google does give you many scary and inaccurate results. I'm glad you found your way here.


This is a mental health issue. I really do think that getting healthcare, whatever way you can is really important for your ongoing well-being, particularly since you are still in recovery from your eating disorder. Anxieties can tend to feed off of each other.


It sounds like your family already knows that something is going on with you. Do you have a family member you feel most comfortable with who you could talk to to explain what exactly you've been thinking and feeling, who could also help you find help?

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Robin

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SarahEsjay
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I am also very grateful to find a place like this!

My family does know that something's not right, but I think everyone is just scared because no one knows how to react. I'm not comfortable speaking about this in person to anyone, I'm at a loss for words when it comes to that, but I'm trying to work up the courage to tell my mother. I'm scared though, I don't know what the doctor will do, or what I will have to do/take to get rid of all this.

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Robin Lee
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I think that knowing what's going on with you would help your family be less scared, rather than making them more scared. If it seems like they don't know how to react, it may very well be because they don't know what's going on and are confused and worried.

Is your Mom someone you're usually able to talk to about serious things? I know it's tough and scary to think of telling her. Sometimes the only way to get through not having courage is to just take a big breath and do whatever it is that's scary, even if it feels scary the whole time you're doing it.

Often what healthcare providers recommend for anxiety differs from patient to patient; sometimes it includes prescribing medication, going for counseling, or both.

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Robin

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SarahEsjay
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I guess that's true, I will try my best to tell her. I usually do tell my mom about anything, I think I want to write it down and give it to her, it'll make it easier for me, as silly as it sounds.

I just want to know some things though, if you can help me. If I have my period (lasting 5 days, and its heavy, like it usually is) can I still be pregnant? I've heard all these stories about having your period during pregnancy, is it true? I've had 3 heavy, 5 day long, normal periods since I last slept with my boyfriend, and 2 negative pregnancy tests.. Normally people would take it as they're not pregnant, but I don't stop stressing about it for a moment. It's driving me crazy!

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Robin Lee
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Hi Sarah,

It doesn't sound silly to me to write down your concerns so your Mom can read them. A lot of people find it easier, and less intimidating, to express themselves in writing.

A person cannot have a period while pregnant. The menstrual cycle stops. Some people do experience bleeding during pregnancy, but that's for other reasons, and isn't going to come at the same time as, or be like, a period. They're not at all likely to, for example, have heavy bleeding for five days.

It might help to remember that the lining of the uterus is what shelters and nourishes a foetus. So, monthly five-day bleeds cannot be consistent with a pregnancy continuing.

when are you going to give that note to your Mom?

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Robin

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SarahEsjay
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I'm planning on writing it out soon, probably by sunday so that I can get this sorted out in the new week, I hope. I don't want to hurt the people in my life by doing something irrepairable and stupid.

Thank you for that, I was really unsure and the internet gives you very sketchy information. It eases my stress knowing that.

I have been for councelling before, so I know what that's like. I hope that they don't have to put me on medication, I've heard terrible things about anti depressants.

Thank you for all your help! It really does mean a lot. I'm so happy I found a site where people don't judge and offer advice, you're doing something wonderful for people who need it [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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You're very welcome.

Just as there is sketchy information out there on pregnancy, there's also sketchy information about antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication. Just like any other medications, these come in many diferent forms, and work differently for different people. [Smile]


That's not to say that you have to take anything that you're just not comfortable taking, only that I encourage you to keep an open mind. [Smile]
Good luck writing the note out to your Mom and talking with her afterwards.

[ 06-14-2013, 06:43 AM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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