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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Dont understan

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Author Topic: Dont understan
bebax3
Neophyte
Member # 46746

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Okay so i was shaving and i took a mirror and started exploring my vagina , and i see that my hymen its kinda weird , like its streched and on the top it looks like a little clitoris , i didnt have it like this until i have this new partner , before i could of see the hymen but now i barely see eny enymore , and lately when we having sex , it just keeps sticking out. ,could it be because of that? I feel really dissapointed :/
Posts: 27 | From: New york | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sex with a partner really can't change the landscape of the vagina or vulva permanently (as opposed to the changes sex and/or arousal can cause while they're happening, and for just a brief time afterwards, as in, usually less than an hour) unless it involves a serious injury.

As well, the hymen is something very few people will even know if they have or they don't (and it may not have been what you were even looking at, because really, it's tough for even doctors, with a way better view, and better education, to distinguish it a lot of the time), because it typically is so indistinguishable from the vaginal opening, and changes to it tend top be gradual, not radical, unless, again, someone gets a serious injury.

Know what's more likely? Either a) that you're being way more observant of your vulva than you were before being sexually active, which is pretty typical, and/or b) that you're noticing changes that happen through puberty. For instance, in your teens and early twenties, the mons will tend to get less puffy and kind of lift back, making things like the inner labia and clitoral hood look more prominent than they did before.

[ 06-05-2013, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bebax3
Neophyte
Member # 46746

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Okay but i was looking at the hymen thouugh and on top of it it looks like a small clitoris coming out , i wanted to go to the gynecologist but im kind of enbarrased to ask. I got really mad because my bf told me maybe im cheeting on him because its more streached , will the hymen eventually disappear after a while or what?
Posts: 27 | From: New york | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bebax3
Neophyte
Member # 46746

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Okay but i was looking at the hymen thouugh and on top of it it looks like a small clitoris coming out , i wanted to go to the gynecologist but im kind of enbarrased to ask. I got really mad because my bf told me maybe im cheeting on him because its more streached , will the hymen eventually disappear after a while or what?
Posts: 27 | From: New york | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Honestly, I have to tell you that it's actually REALLY hard to clearly identify the hymen, especially since you've had, per your user history, a couple years of sexual activity of various kinds, and you're of an age where, at this point, even without any sexual activity, your hymen has most likely been eroding for some time now.

So, I'm really not sure what you've been looking at IS your hymen.

The hymen wears away over time for most people, a process that starts around the time puberty does, and basically goes on through all of life to some degree. Your boyfriend's ideas about it -- and again, I'm also guessing that unless he's a medical student, he won't even know what it could look like, either -- aren't sound.

Really, since you've been sexually active for a while now, it's time to start seeing a sexual healthcare provider anyway, for your annual exams, pap smears and STI tests. Since it seems like you also have questions and concerns, why not go ahead and get started with that, where you can get the healthcare you need AND be able to ask the questions you want of someone with the education to answer them who can examine your body in person?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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