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Author Topic: pregnancy scare? or just paranoia?
Alzoblossomxx
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Member # 107538

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Right, hey [Smile]
I'm just new on this site, but I've been looking at the articles and reading the forum and stuff for a long time and it's really helpful! Thanks to everyone!
But, I've nowhere else to ask this question, and I thought there would be no where better to ask than the experts, so here it goes. I'm kinda embarrassed haha..
I'm 16, and I have a boyfriend. We've been together 10 months and we waited basically all of that, to start going further than kissing. Handjobs and stuff. He was brilliant, and he didn't care about waiting [Smile] a few weeks ago, we finally started doing more things, and I've given him quite a few handjobs haha.
Naturally, I'm a paranoid person. It's not ideal but I get through it [Smile] But every time I give him a handjob, he cums. Its always on his belly because we're lying down but sometimes, obviously, a little bit gets onto my hands and fingers. After it, we clean up and I wash my hands, but I'm always a little paranoid I end up pregnant, no matter how stupid it sounds.
But last Sunday, we did it again, and I got his semen on my fingertips. I washed my hands with warm soapy water, for like 10 seconds, then went to the toilet. After it, like 10 minutes I was lying in bed myself and I had an itch in my vagina. The semen was on my right hand before washing btw. So forgetting what I was doing, I scratched like bare skin to bare skin with my left hand, and now I'm terrified I could be pregnant.
I've decided we should stop doing things for a little while, because me being paranoid isn't ideal an he's cool with it [Smile] I take it that means I'm not as ready as I thought.

But basically, is that a pregnancy risk?
Is quickly washing hands enough to kill sperm?
and in the future, if we do anything again, how can I stop this paranoia??

Thanks x

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Robin Lee
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Hi Alzoblossomxx and welcome to Scarleteen,

What you described is not a pregnancy risk. Take a look at this article to learn more about what does and doesn't pose a risk:

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

I think taking a break from these sexual activities is a sound idea, and I is something I was going to suggest if you hadn't mentioned it. Ideally, any sexual activity will feel good after we do it, as well as during, and feeling this type and level of paranoia doesn't, from what you describe, sound like it feels good.


Do you feel like you have a good sense for what sexual activities can lead to pregnancy and which ones just can't? where do you think these panicked feelings are coming from: a lack of information, a general tendency towards panic, something else entirely?

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Robin

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Alzoblossomxx
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That's the thing, I know it doesn't seem like a pregnancy risk. I know I'm feeling like this without cause [Frown] before this I would have said I do have a good sense for what can cause pregnancy but now I've actually started to do more things, all of that is kind of out the window and I feel so paranoid !
Yeah, I suppose I do have a general feeling of panic in certain situations [Frown] like, if I do something I know I'm "not supposed to be doing" like basically - something I wouldn't want my parents to know cause I know they'd disapprove, especially my mum..

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Robin Lee
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are you feeling that way about this sexual activity, like you're not supposed to be doing it because your parents might disapprove? sometimes when we have anxiety about one thing, it can turn into anxiety about another, such as worry about what your parents think turning into worry about pregnancy even though you know it isn't possible. I'm going to give you some reading material to make sure that you do have all the facts straight regarding pregnancy.

Have you yet spoken to your boyfriend about stopping these sexual activities?

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

Pregnancy Scared?


And of course the article that I linked you to in my first reply. did you have a chance to read that yet?

--------------------
Robin

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Alzoblossomxx
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Yeah pretty much. I mean, that I was ready and it was my choice to make that decision, but my mum would kill me hahaha. She's already expressed several times that I better not have done anything, not to let him be my first etc, you know the usual kinda stuff :/ she thinks because we're still young he'd leave me and I respect that. I know she's looking out for me, but I definitely won't be having sex for a long time I'm no where near ready for that :/ if I'm not ready to have a baby etc I'm not ready to have sex.
Yep, I read the articles and its made me feel a lot better! It's cleared some things up [Smile] can I ask you another question? How will I know when I'm ready for sure then? I thought I was but clearly I'm not [Frown]

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Alzoblossomxx
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Oh and yep I mentioned it to him but I'm planning to speak to him about it tomorrow a great deal more [Smile] we fell out last night so we have a lot to talk about
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Alzoblossomxx
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Hi, I told him, he's fine with it [Smile] I just wish I knew how to get rid of this paranoia cause otherwise I really enjoy doing things with him
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Molias
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I think figuring out when you're ready for sex - any kind of sexual activity - can be kind of tough, but we have a great article that will probably be helpful: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

It might be a good idea to look at this list and sit on your feelings about it for a while, and then talk to your boyfriend about what you think would feel ok and non-anxiety-inducing to do together.

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Alzoblossomxx
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Thanks, that article really helps me. I decided not to do anything else for a little while, until I feel more ready. My boyfriend is ok with this as well [Smile]

But I can't shake this feeling that I could be pregnant. I know it's ridiculous but I can't help it.

I had my last period starting the 3rd and ending on the 7th I think, and this event, why I think I'm pregnant, happened on the 12th. Now I'm due my period in 3 or 4 days although I always expect it to be a little later or earlier, it's never exactly on time. [Smile]

Even if my period comes, does that mean I am not pregnant like 100%? I know some women get bleeding all through their pregnancys so what if my period comes and I'm actually pregnant and I just don't know and it's just the bleeding some women get?

Do you think there's any chance I could be pregnant? Like even after washing my hands, couldn't the sperm have travelled from the right hands, which it landed on, to the left through the water and as I described in the first post, ends up in my vagina and made me pregnant?

How much sperm would there have to be on fingers to make someone pregnant? Can it live after washing??

Thanks for reading and helpin me. I know how ridiculous this sounds but I have nobody else to talk to and you guys are the experts so I know whatever you tell me is fact [Smile]

[ 05-26-2013, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: Alzoblossomxx ]

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