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vaLLey_1996
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Ok, so even when I don't like drama, seems like I got caught in the middle of my own.

Ok, all of you were right about that what happened was not the end of the world. I got it.

After having very lousy sex, I finally talked to the "awesome" prospect I was dating. Wasn't so awesome at the end. He felt sorry about me, like pity sorry about me. And didn't like the idea that I was in need of some "fixing" (still dealing with the word).

Anyway, at least my parents are handling the situation better. They whisper less wich is always good.

Just wanted to share this because I don't talk about this often with anyone around. And well, you always seem to care.

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Robin Lee
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HI vaLLey_1996,

I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing here. [Smile]

Was "fixed" the word used by the person you were dating?

I'm also glad to hear you feel more comfortable around your parents.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
vaLLey_1996
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Hi Robin!

Well the actual term he used was: "Girl you need some serious fixing", that because I told him what happened tome and that I needed to be careful about the triggers.

I wonder if, like Heather said, its going to take a loooong time (maybe decades) you know? Even finding someone who is comfortable with me and my past.

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Robin Lee
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Yes, it might take time, but that has to do with them, not with you. The reality is that most of us have complex or complicated pasts in some way or another, and that the ability to accept, and be able to deal with something like that in a relationship, does take a certain kind of person.

While I take issue with the way he phrased it to you (you're a human being, not a car that needs repairs) I do think it's good that you know now, at the outset, that this just isn't something he is able and willing to have in his life right now.

It sounds like you're relatively at peace with where things are right now. Is there anything it would be helpful to discuss at this point?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
vaLLey_1996
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It's not that I am at peace, but I don't want to give anyone the power to make me feel ashamed of what happened. I've worked so hard for a whole year, to understand that (like I said in my first post) I am more than this.

It does not feel cool someone telling you that you are damaged in so many ways but, I will find the way to "fix" it.

The good thing is I don't have to worry about being ready for sex maybe until I am 40. And by then maybe I am not going to be interested in trying.

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Robin Lee
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I hear you, and yes, you are so very much more than this.

I think you're pretty awesome, actually. If you need anything as you go through this journey, you know where we are. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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