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Author Topic: Something I regret completely.
Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
Member # 107549

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Hi, i'm new to this site, and i gotta say, it's fantastic here. I first heard about this site through a friend, and i figured that i could use a support group.

Anyway, so i'm a virgin, and so is my boyfriend. Recently we started getting physical but we havent had any PIV intercourse, just "manual" sex as this website describes fingering. I'm also very depressed right now, so please bear with me. Me and my boyfriend have dry-humped and he has fingered me and i have given him oral sex. Now, i really thought i was ready at the time, for a couple of days i felt good about it, i felt more comfortable with my boyfriend. However, that didnt last long. I decided to google if what we did had any risk of STI's and pregnancy, but honestly, im really more concrned with my risk of pregnancy, BY ALOT. There are so many stories on the internet, even on this site!!! That people have gotten positive pregnancy tests with just fingering and dry humping! I'm so scared now, and i dont think i'll ever be ready to get over this scare. I now realize that i am not ready for sex, but it's a little too late to take back what me and my boyfriend did. So i'd like to post these questions here:

Do i have a realistic chance of pregnancy? Because on this website it says that manual sex or dry humping with clothes on, does not pose a pregnancy risk, but on sex etc.org, it says that there is a pregnancy risk if your fingers have ejaculate or precum and they are inserted into the vagina. Im just super confused with this right now as you two are both trusted sex education sites

Another, will i be aboe to get through this? I'm a very easily scared person and i cant talk to anyone but my boyfriend and the people on this site. I really cant trust anyone right now.

Please help me [Frown]

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

Posts: 24 | From: Singapore | Registered: May 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey,Tacosforcharity (great handle!).

I've never, ever seen anything from anyone on this site reporting a pregnancy from fingering or dry humping. Most likely that's because that just isn't something real that happens.

Have you been able to look through this first, per the activities you're concerned about? Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

In terms of the different information you're seeing at Sex, Etc, you'll really need to use their direct services to ask them about that. However, I don't hear you saying you DID have fingers covered in ejaculate inserted into your vagina, right?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
Member # 107549

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Omgggggg i'm so scared now!! For dry sex, it says that you can get pregnant through very thin clothing :'((( i was in a bikini bottom (it's a lot thicker than underwear) and my boyfriend rubbed his penis on the butt area huhuhu but it wasnt for long, though. What could this mean??? I'm so terrified!!

No, there wasnt any ejaculate on his hands, but what if it wasnt visible? After all, sperm is microscopic [Frown] it could have seeped through or something [Frown]

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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If there was no ejaculate, pregnancy is unlikely. first of all, you were wearing a layer. Second of all, yes, sperm are microscopic, but a few sperm all by themselves are unlikely to be able to get very far. They need ejaculatory fluid to do their job.

I'm also unclear, as it sound like the rubbing wasn't even right on your genitals. When you say your butt area, do you mean against your anus through the fabric, or on your butt?

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Robin

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Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
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Against whole butt-area, through swimsuit fabric, if that should make a difference. Also, it (his penis) wasnt even pointed at my anus.

But wait, clothing is porous, so shouldnt that give sperm enough room to seep through as well?

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Reproduction just doesn't work that way: more is required than just sperm cells, and they can't do jack on their own anyway. The fact that sperm cells are microscopic also has nothing to do with anything, I assure you.

Again, this isn't a viable risk you've posted about. It's just not.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
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Okay, thank you. So, to sum it all up, as long as it gets to female genitalia while it is still wet, it's a viable risk?

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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To sum up, a real risk of pregnancy, the kind you do need to be concerned with, basically only exists when:
• There is DIRECT genital-to-genital contact, and/or
• There is DIRECT contact between your genitals (your vulva or right around there, like the perineum or rectum) and someone's ejaculate.

I do not hear you describing any of these scenarios here.

But, just so you know, while you can't "take back" sexual activity you always CAN choose not to keep engaging in it. Clearly, you don't feel ready for this, as you've said, so it sounds like putting all of this on the shelf for now, and not continuing to engage in these kinds of sex, would be the best plan for you for the near future.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
Member # 107549

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Okay then. Well, thank you! This really helped [Smile]

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

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Meggsy
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Heather is right. it is "almost" impossible to become pregnant unless sperm ejaculates into the vagina. Sperm is very suseptable to temperature and as such normally needs to be inside you to impregnate you.
If you are playing with fire - be prepared - get yourself onto the pill or always keep a condom handy for the moment you cannot resist saying no and say yes. It happens believe me. DO NOT use the pull and pray method - he often cant get it out in time despite all the promises.

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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Again, just a note to say that this forum, as well as the Emergencies and crises forum, are for staff and volunteer responses only.

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Robin

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Tacosforcharity
Neophyte
Member # 107549

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that last post scared me...

so judging from all of the replies on this post, it is "almost impossible" to say that i can get pregnant from these activities?

...

not generally impossible?

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We'll run wild! We'll be glowing in the dark!

Posts: 24 | From: Singapore | Registered: May 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Yes.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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