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Author Topic: help me get a reality check
koral
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First of all, let me thank the founders of this amazing site, the dumb sh*t flowing all over the internet had me scared senseless till I stumbled over this site and most of my worries proved to be baseless.


I have read the articles at Scarleteen wrt pregnancy scares. Plz forgive me if i'm wasting your time but i just want to cover all my bases and don't want to lose anymore weight out of worry.

I was making out with my boyfrnd on Sunday, i was in his lap and he had his underwear on, I didnt. while kissing i suddenly realized that his underpants had a wet mark (precum) that was in contact with my vulva (somewhere arnd the clitoris). That could have sperm since he had masturbated around 20 mins before that. AND i was also wet due to being turned on.. could this be counted as the precum being directly on the vulva?? and does wetness at both ends count as the fluid needed for sperm to get in? A site said since sperm are microscopic they can pass through clothes, is that so?? Please help me. I keep revisiting that day in my head looking for things to worry about, what was not safe, what i did wrong, its taking the beauty of that day out of my memory and i dont want that [Frown]

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September
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Welcome to Scarleteen, Koral.

Have you also read this article:
Pregnancy Scared?

If so, you might have come across this passage:
quote:
Were you only kissing, having oral sex, manual sex and/or dry sex, where someone (or everyone) had clothes on and/or no one ejaculated on or very near anyone else's vulva? These kinds of sex do NOT present pregnancy risks, though some present risks of STIs.
Your partner was wearing underwear, and he did not ejaculate. So, this section applies to you.

Does that help?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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koral
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yeah but that same article talked about accidental fluid contact, that is what had me worried. I was wet and so was he, moreover i was not dressed, so precum(with/without semen, i cant say) may have touched my vulva through the fabric, was that fluid contact enuf for semen to get through?

And since then I keep imagining scenarios where there might have been any sort of fluid or wetness, not once did our genitals come in direct contact, i am 100% sure of it we were careful, but all the other ways mentioned through which semen can get through freaked me out. I had no idea it was this varied in ways.

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September
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Can you point me to the passage you mean per "accidental fluid contact"?

I don't know where it was that you read that sperm could pass through clothes. It really cannot. So as long as at least one partner is wearing at least one layer of clothing (and not something flimsy like lace or mesh, which has holes), there is no reason to worry about a pregnancy risk.

It's sounding to me like you and your partner need to revisit conversations about what sexual activities you are ready for, and to take a step back from these activities that have you worried. Do you think that's something you can do?

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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koral
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Absolutely. I think that needs to be done.

The passage i mentioned was :
Level of pregnancy risk: No risk, unless only one partner is wearing a very thin garment that allows for some direct genital contact, like a thong, or there is accidental fluid contact. In those cases, there may be low risk.
Link for the same:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/can_i_get_pregnant_or_get_or_pass_on_an_sti_from_that

Once again, I want to thank you for the help. I do not need to worry , right?

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September
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Well, okay, that is just what I was talking about: a garment that has holes (like mesh or lace), or a skinny thong that could slip aside, might allow for some direct contact. But if your partner's underpants stayed on the entire time, we are not talking about direct contact.

So, no need to worry.

[ 05-09-2013, 04:46 AM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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koral
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Member # 107478

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Thanks a ton [Smile]
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