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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Depression after sex

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Author Topic: Depression after sex
Cjhoops
Neophyte
Member # 107296

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Whenever I have sex I get depressed almost immediately after the act. With my first parter it didn't really happen until our relationship started to fall apart. And almost every person after except 1 who is really close to me this happens. This is a hard depression too. Sometimes I get sad about trying on clothes and other things, but this one is deeper. Often times I can't speak or talk about how I feel after. When I was in 8th grade k was sexually abused could this be a factor?
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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HI Cjhoops and welcome to Scarleteen,

How long does this depressed feeling last?

Does it go away by itself or do you do something to help it subside?

When you say that it starts almost immediately after sexual activity, are you talking about it coming on within minutes or hours?

Certainly, past traumatic experiences, including abuse and a disintegrating relationship, can afect how we feel emotionally during and after sex. Have you ever gotten support around the sexual abuse you experienced, such as from a counsellor?

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Robin

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Cjhoops
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Thanks ! and like for a day or two. and i try to sleep or something. i normally don't like talking to people about it. and it is immediately after sexual activity. and no i havent gotten any support really. i havent really talked to my mom about the incident
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Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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How would you feel about talking to a counsellor? Healing from sexual abuse is a process, and one that's difficult to go through without outside help. Is talking to your mom about it as a start something you feel like you could do?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Cjhoops
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No not really , we aren't that close for some reason . I guess since I'm growing up haha
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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What do you think of Karybu's suggestion to see about talking to a counsellor?

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Robin

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Cjhoops
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Yea I think that may help a little but it's just so hard for me to really tell my problems and emotions
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, the nice thing about counseling is that a) therapists and counselors are trained to help people who struggle with that to do that, and b) you get to take time to build trust so that gets easier over time.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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