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Author Topic: Thought I was being safe
damien1408
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Hello
I have not had to worry about condoms for a long time because my girlfriend was on contraception unfortunately this stopped a few months ago due to not finding anything to suit her.
Since then we have been using condoms and the withdrawal method with great success we did research on effectiveness but unfortunately I did not do research on how to use a condom. So I went to put backwards but obviously they do not go that way so I turned it around and put it on the correct way.
We had sex and withdrew and I know it was perfect use because I urinated before hand and did not ejaculated for at least 10 minutes after.

I started thinking about it over the last few days and thought that precum could have gotten on the outside. I cannot confirm this because I have never seen precum come out of me before unless I try and milk it out. I know everyone says that every man has precum I just think I am one of those guys that have very very little. I am honestly pretty dry well that is another story and another concern of mine but anyhow.

This took place 5 days ago and was the day after her period stopped. We do not know if she was fertile because she has not been able to chart for so long due to not getting a period from all the different contraception she has taken but we estimate the end of each month.

I know that there is always a possibility for pregnancy to happen but what is the likely hood in this situation.

Posts: 7 | From: Aus | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Pre-ejaculate can cause a pregnancy risk in direct contact, however that risk is very small. Since this was 5 days ago, there is also nothing you can do about this now, save to wait for her to get her period, or take a pregnancy test at 14 days after the risk, whichever comes first.

Just for the record: while hormonal contraceptives offer excellent protection from pregnancy, they do not protect against STIs. So it's smart to continue to use condoms, anyway, at least until you have both been tested. How are you guys doing on testing?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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damien1408
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Hi September
We have both been tested and negative. We actually did this before she went on contraceptives so there are no worries there.

Thank you very much for your answer. In your answer you said testing 14 days after the risk will give us an answer. While reading around forums and internet sites they have all said that 14 days would not be very accurate. Can you please explain this.

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September
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Great to hear you're on top of testing! Go you.

I don't know which other forums you have been reading, so I cannot explain what they are basing their claims on. But a pregnancy test will give an accurate reading starting at 14 days after the risk, or on the first day of a missed period. You can find out more about pregnancy testing here: Peeing on a Stick: All About Pregnancy Tests

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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damien1408
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Thank you we have been very safe up until know without having any pregnancy scare and knowing we are free from STD's and STI's has been great.\

Regarding pregnancy tests I know you can not read everything that you believe everything on the internet but when a google search is done on the matter you get very mixed results. You can hear of people not testing positive until 10 weeks and so on. And other say a home pregnancy test is never accurate. That is why I came to scarlet teen because I wanted accurate information.

I will be leaving for work exactly 20 days after we had the risk and I do not know how long I will not be able to be contacted for. It could be up to a few months. That is why I am asking about the pregnancy test. If she was to take one 19 days after and another 20 days after and they both return a negative result would it be safe to say that they are accurate and we can put this situation to rest or is it still to soon.?

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damien1408
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My Girlfriend went to the a gynecologist yesterday and had a IUD put in this was 7 days after we had sex with the condom. He said that the small amount of pre seminal fluid that MAY have been on the condom would be very unlikely to cause pregnancy unless in the fertile period because while not in the fertile period the vagina is a very inhospitable place.
Is this true and why? I just have this idea that everytime you have sex you get pregnant stupid Huh.

The gynecologist said that she was unlikely to be ovulating at the time being 6 days into her cycle and that the IUD can be used as a emergency contraceptive for 5 days after sex or 5 days after ovulation with a 99% success rate. I was a little worried about this because we had sex 7 days prior. They did a ultrasound to make sure that implantation had not already taken place.
Do you think we did the correct thing here I do not know why but I am still worried about pregnancy?

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Heather
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Her GYN is correct.

For more on how pregnancy really happens, and all that's involved, check this out: Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

And indeed, the IUD can be used as an emergency contraceptive, even though it doesn't sound like one was needed in the first place.

After reading that link there that tells you how pregnancy really can and can't happen, and all that's involved, if you are still concerned about pregnancy, you're going to need to figure out why YOU think that is.

For instance, do you really feel ready to engage in sex with a partner, including having all the facts about all that's involved you need? It might be that, but feeling scared like this could be about any number of things. Only you're going to be able to figure out why you're feeling this way.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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damien1408
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Hi Heather thank you for answering my question.
That is a lot of stuff for a pregnancy to happen and when you start thinking about it like that there is a lot of potential things that can go wrong.

I am worried because she has been pregnant before and it ended in a miscarriage and this was extremely hard to deal with.

I am sorry and do not want to break any forum rules but I have one more small question and it has to do with precum.

I have seen WHAT IS A RISK linked in a lot of questions where there has been a worry about precum being on fingers or hands during fingering. What is the difference with this to precum being transferred to the outside of a condom before sex. Like in my first post when I went to put a condom on the wrong way touched the top of the penis and turned it around and put it on the correct way.

Is there something wrong with me not producing precum from the time I am sexually excited and have a erection. I mean honestly I am bone dry before sex and always have been. I even have to use lubricant on the head of my penis to masturbate because it is so dry. I have had to do this for as long as I can remember.

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Heather
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Unfortunately, miscarriage is just one of those things that's often a given -- usually at least once in life, if not more than once -- when you have a uterus and engage in the kinds of sex that can create a pregnancy.

And it's often upsetting. But if your girlfriend is still struggling with feelings about a miscarriage from some time back, her best bet would be to seek out some support, okay?

Chances are you do produce pre-ejaculate if you do ejaculate. It's just that for you, it may be such a small amount -- it's usually only a few drops of fluid, anyway -- that you can't even tell. And by all means, using a lubricant with masturbation is pretty much standard (as in, almost everyone does), and pre-ejaculate isn't at all likely to provide enough lubrication for comfortable masturbation for most people. If anyone.

Putting a condom on the wrong way then swapping it around really isn't proper condom use, and yes, that can present higher pregnancy risks than when you use the condom properly.

Let's go back to that very first answer Septemeber gave you:
quote:
Pre-ejaculate can cause a pregnancy risk in direct contact, however that risk is very small. Since this was 5 days ago, there is also nothing you can do about this now, save to wait for her to get her period, or take a pregnancy test at 14 days after the risk, whichever comes first.


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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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damien1408
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Thanks heather
She is getting the support she needs through counseling.

Seeing I made a silly mistake with flipping the condom back around but I did not ejaculate at all would it be safe to say that I used the withdrawal method perfectly.

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Heather
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Yep, it would be safe to say that. Or, even, that you had likely perfect effectiveness of the withdrawal method, but then typical use effectiveness of the condom, rather than only accounting for withdrawal alone.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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damien1408
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Thank you heather.
We are just waiting for her to get her period or take a test.
If we where to take a test 20 days after intercourse would we get a accurate result.

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Heather
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You're welcome.

Around 3 weeks after a risk or, as soon as someone has a missed/late period (which usually means it's around 5 days later than they'd expect it), most of the time HPTs will give an accurate result.

You can read the instructions on the box for any of them to find out when a given test says it will be most accurate.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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