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afrojunk
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goodmorning
sorry for such a topic again but i just wanna be sure.

last week i went to a girl. we forst did some hand fingering etc. we both had an orgasm afterwards i have peed quite much.
later that night we had drysex. she had a normal thong that wasnt thin i thought. i wore a 95% cotton normal undewear, no boxershort. we did not have an ejaculation during the dry sex. there were two tiny spots of pre-cum. we had the drysex for about 5 minutes. an she switched her underwear right after.

she is going to use the pill as soon as she had her period but her period is used to be at the end of this week.
oure sexual hormons toke over we thought.

my question is: pregnancy risk? it wasnt a very smart thing to do and im kinda scared

thanks!

[ 03-05-2013, 12:40 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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September
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Welcome to Scarleteen, afrojunk!

Can you start by taking a look at this thread? That should help you answer your question.
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/27/t/027495.html

If you need anything clarified, we'll be happy to help.

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Johanna
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afrojunk
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Were you only kissing, having oral sex, manual sex and/or dry sex, where someone (or everyone) had clothes on and/or no one ejaculated on or very near anyone else's vulva? These kinds of sex do NOT present pregnancy risks, though some present risks of STIs.

this is stated in the article. what i liked to know if clothing means underwear from both sides?

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Heather
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It means anyone was wearing clothes, not necessarily both parties.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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afrojunk
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Okay but i stated my question wrong. Does underwear like a thong and my underwear count too?

Im a little scared about the whole thing. Im usually not that scared, but since she is going to use the pill as soon after her period I am a little.

Soo it can not go through mine and her clothes? when we say the two little spots of pre-cum we stopped immediately and changed her underwear

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Heather
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Yes, it does.

Sperm cells are delicate, and the process of pregnancy happening is really quite specific. This is why, as we make clear, when pregnancy occurs, the ways it almost always does, are through DIRECT genital-to-genital contact (meaning no one is dressed in any way) and DIRECT contact of semen to genitals.

But moving forward, sounds like it's also time for you to talk about this together, including talking about condoms, not just the pill. Using a method yourself when it is needed AND her using the pill would likely have you feeling a whole lot less freaked.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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okay, thanks for the info. We will surely do so!
As i make of your reaction, i can conclude that its low to no risk?

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Heather
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I need you to refer back to the thread for that that September first linked you to, okay? We really need our users to respect limits when we set them. Thanks!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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ofcourse, i fully understand the reply!
Thanks a lot, i only was mislead by the cloth part that i asked about. The underwear are the cloths!?

thanks! this is a great site for asking help

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Heather
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Yep: most typically, undergarments are made out of cloth of some kind. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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okayyy i have talked about it with her. and she said that her period should be around coming days. be she is also irregular and it could be even next week.
i have read the artic about pregnany scareness. but i really appreciate some assurance in my situatiion.

i have also talked to my father about it (ina a way of one of my friends) and he said that it is almost impossible to get a girl pregnant this way. there are people who cant get pregnant even if they wanted. so my situation isnt possible

i really appreciate your opinion about this

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Robin Lee
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Hey afrojunk,

Can you tell us what specifically is making you still feel nervous about this? What do you feel like wasn't answered in the links you were given and the answers from heather?

Do you mean that you asked one of your friends to talk to your father? How do you feel about talking to your father yourself for some help around this?

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Robin

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afrojunk
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Well,
the link stated:"Were you only kissing, having oral sex, manual sex and/or dry sex, where someone (or everyone) had clothes on and/or no one ejaculated on or very near anyone else's vulva? These kinds of sex do NOT present pregnancy risks, though some present risks of STIs."

Im no native english speaker, so at some points its hard to follow, because sentences can have multiple meanings.
In the quote was told about the clothes, im really curious if i wear underwear and she wears underwear, that that is enough protection?
After 5 minutes we stopped the dryhumping. I saw two little spots of precum in my underwear. The were very little and she immediately switched her underwear.

I talked to my father about it (in the way that this story happened to a friend of mine) and he said that i could talk about if i want. It was a nice feeling, because i didn't expected such a positive reaction from him.

I dont really know why im so anxious about the whole pregnancy thing. I am scared to make a girl pregnant and the be a little screwed, i guess. thereby comes that here period is about this week (irregular) and she is going to use the pill from that moment, so it was stupid but at the moment i didn't think about it
Heather was very clear and i appreciate that.

soo a more simple answer is appreciated

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September
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Yes: as Heather has also said already, underwear counts as clothing. If one or both partners are wearing underwear (and I understand in this scenario you both were), there is no pregnancy risk.

I am glad to hear that your father reacted so positively!

If you are interested, we can talk about your anxiety and try to figure out why it is so hard for you to put this scare behind you.

--------------------
Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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afrojunk
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okay, first of all thanks for the time!!!
hahaha so there is no risk of pregnancy?

my father isn't very open about things, but i was glad he was about this subject. In the first message of this topic i told that i peed between the drysex and the first sexual activity. that was something i was also scared of.

This girl was just a friend and everything was just for fun but i have had a girlfriend before. I was always very anxious for a pregnancy when she wasnt using the pill. But when used it, i even was a little. I think that my anxiousness comes from the fact that i don't want to 'ruin' a life, mine and her's. Im planning to go to the university next year and im just scared that pregnancy would ruin my dreams of making career and have real fun in life.

At school we have had, sexual education but a really abstract form. Nothing about problems which i had with the pregnancy risk. So i don't really know what are risky things (except the fact that witrhdrawal isnt smart)

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afrojunk
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and one thing: two weeks before last weekend i had some sexual activity with the girl and i wear nothing amd she wore.panties. se wanted to dryhump . there were.two little pushes but i stopped immediately because it wasmt smart. but thanks to this site help that story is off the table.

im just.anxious about the thought: what if?

looking forward for some reactions!

[ 03-07-2013, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Karybu
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Do you feel like you have a bit better idea now (after discussing it here) of what activities pose a pregnancy risk and which ones don't?

If you still find that you're having anxiety about pregnancy - and we can talk some more if you want about the idea that an unplanned pregnancy 'ruins' things - have you considered taking a break from sexual activity of any kind until you're a little bit more comfortable? Sex is really supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved, and it's pretty difficult to have it be a positive thing in your life if anxiety keeps cropping up during or after. It might help to set a limit for yourself that you won't engage in sexual activity until you're feeling more knowledgeable about what makes a pregnancy risk. What do you think?

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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afrojunk
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i think talking would be a good solution, thanks for the time.

Sex is enjoyable for me, but sometimes i have and a voice in my head that says "what if..." or "what if she doesnt get her period"

But with this scareness in my head, it's hard.
I thought about waiting, but i thought with this girl: lets try and hope im not that scared anymore...

I do have more knowledge about sex thanks to this site. Still, when you type a thing about pregnancy in google, you get stories that people got pregnant of precum and those are things that are scary. Now that i have read on this site and on a dutch site i have more knowledge. Cause its almost impossible to get pregnant from precum right?

The best thing is to wait till the girl uses the pill, that would be more comfortable. Is there without the pill any chance of pregnancy if a guy didn't ejaculate?

[ 03-08-2013, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Robin Lee
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You know, there's nothing saying that you can't stop engaging in any sexual activities. That is, just because you've already engaged in these activities doesn't mean you have to again.

Is waiting until you're with a partner who is on the pill or using another form of birth control something you feel better about doing?

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Robin

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afrojunk
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i think that using birth control would make me feel better and soon i hope to find out
if she gets her period next week

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afrojunk
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the thing is that i have a vioce in my head: what if she doesnt get her period upcpmung week? thats the only if i cant get out of my head for a 100%. she also has a sore throat at the moment, its quite heavy and i dont know if that has any influence on the time of her period
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Heather
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Well, that's going to be up to you to figure out how to manage, honestly. And all you can do is wait things out regardless.

But staying focused on that and asking about this, even after it's been made very clear pregnancy isn't something that could happen with this activity? Is probably about the worst way to learn to let that go. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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afrojunk
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okay thanks for all the information, help and time! I will wait and try to let it go!

I feel less nervous and i hardly think about it anymore. After this topic I have more insight on the pregancy thing and I will post another reply as soon as her period comes

Thank you!!!

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afrojunk
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she justed texted me that she has her period
so thanks for everything!

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Robin Lee
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Glad to hear you're feeling better.

From what you said above, it sounded like you were going to wait to engage in this type of sexual activity again until the girl you're involved with is using some kind of birth control.

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Robin

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afrojunk
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I certainly am waiting with sexual activity's until she (and I) use birthcontrol
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September
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That is good to hear! If you would like, we can help you and your partner get started on learning about the available options of birth control.

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Johanna
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afrojunk
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Goodday,
since the help i feel much better. I do have one final question. When does the pill works effectively? She said that she has to start the day after her period, but i always thought that beginning with the pill has to be the first day of her period

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Robin Lee
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The pill can be started at any time during a person's cycle. When they start it can determine how quickly it reaches its full effectiveness.

To be completely sure, no matter when in their cycle someone starts their pill, we here at Scarleteen suggest that people use a secondary method of birth control, or avoid engaging in activities that could lead to pregnancy, for an entire cycle (one full pack of pills) to allow the pill to reach its full effectiveness.

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Robin

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afrojunk
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i have one last question before im engaging in sexual activitis that alsways been i big question.
What if a boy and a girl have manual sex and he fingers (deep in vagina)her with a little bit precum on his fingers? could that pose a risk?

i have read the article but i really appreciate some quick advice.

[ 03-23-2013, 06:03 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Allie R
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Hi afrojunk,

I believe the only time that would pose as a legitimate risk, he would have to have gobs of FRESH semen on his fingers. Usually when people are afraid of this type of situation, they can't remember whether or not there was precum present, and if it was, it was likely dried and very minimal, meaning not presenting much risk at all.

This is actually addressed in one of our articles, if you'd like to check it out: Misconception Mayhem: Separating Pregnancy and Pregnancy Risk Myths from Facts


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AAR

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afrojunk
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yeah i mean, i went to bed with a girl. We didnt have intercourse. Only fingering etc. Only one time, im not sure, i think i might touched my penis. Im not sure if there was precum and if it was it was only little!
so no risk?

[ 03-23-2013, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Robin Lee
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HI afrojunk,

It sounds like you're still feeling unsure about all this. Can you start by rereading the articles we've linked you too, as well as the replies you've gotten in this thread?

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Robin

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afrojunk
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thank you i did, but i also read that precum cant survive on hand? is that right?
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Robin Lee
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If there happens to be sperm in the pre-ejaculate, no, it won't be able to do its thing to potentially help mke a pregnancy if it's been on a hand first.

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Robin

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