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Author Topic: Precum on underwear. FREAKING OUT!
runway_75
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Hi my name is Alex and I'm new to Scarleteen. The question that I'm about to ask is pretty stupid, but I'm literally over the edge at this point and I am insanely scared right now... After my period ended on the 18th, 3days later, my boyfriend came over just to hangout like he normally does and later on, We engaged in dry sex. Next thing you know, I only have on my shirt and underwear on, but the underwear I had on were more like bikini bottoms that you wear in the pool and they're are very firm and he literally had his pants down and his penis was bare. He was teasing my vagina with it for 2-3mins then got off. When I got up the outer material of my underwear was damp from his precum. He buttoned him self back up and I proceed to grind on him. I'm guessing a day later I get this cervical mucous like fluid which probably meant that I was about to ovulate and I've been seeing it all week in my undies until yesterday. But last Wed paranoia hit me HARD!! And this is not the 1st time. Me and my BF always do stuff that's a bit sexual related and always gets scared, but then I always get my period which lasts 7 days. This time... I'm INSANELY afraid cause we never did dry sex with just underwear on, normally we're fully clothed, but this incident has me loosing sleep. We got into an argument on Friday about it then again this morning and I've been crying my eyes out because I think that I'm preggers. I've went to my cousin about it who has more experience then me when it comes to sex and boys and she says you cant get pregnant that way and my BF said the same that sperm cant travel through clothing, but for some reason I don't believe him and I keep convincing myself that I am plus my period is due next week... What should I do? I really don't know where or who to go to about this anymore and me and my BF are tired of stressing over this situation. I'm really scared... Can you please help me?? P.S. I'm sorry that my message is so long, but..im stressing so badly. Thank you so much :/
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Molias
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Hi Alex, and welcome to Scarleteen.

Have you checked out this post yet? If not, please take a look.
If you have more questions after reading that, come on back and let us know how we can help clarify things for you.

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runway_75
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I just read the link that you've given me and I feel a little better, but I'm still a bit unsure about it... I'm sorry, I'm just scared.
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Molias
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What, specifically, are you unsure about?

You can find links in that post that will walk you through assessing your risk of pregnancy; having looked at that, what do you think?

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runway_75
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I'm a bit unsure because, He pre*** on my undies and Im afraid if there's a risk here. It's really stressing me out and I cant seem to stop crying or to control myself/f.. My BF and I are only 19 and we wanna have sex, but neither of us are ready nor are we ready to take care of a baby. We would love to have kids sometime in life, but not this early [Frown]
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Molias
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Alex,

Did you read Pregnancy Scared? If so, you saw this:

  • Were you only kissing, having oral sex, manual sex and/or dry sex, where someone (or everyone) had clothes on and/or no one ejaculated on or very near anyone else's vulva? These kinds of sex do NOT present pregnancy risks, though some present risks of STIs.

I saw earlier that you said your boyfriend told you that sperm can't travel through clothing but you didn't believe him. Can you elaborate on that, any? It is definitely a fact that sperm just don't have that superpower.

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runway_75
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Yes, I have ma'am. But what I'm also worried about is if it's possible to if a bit of his precum were to drip on the creases/sides of my undies??
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runway_75
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I'm sorry if I'm being a bit difficult [Frown] I just wanna be okay [Frown]
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Molias
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Any precum that first touched your underwear isn't going to pose any sort of risk, whether it stayed there or got anywhere else. And honestly, precum is generally not present in enough of a quantity to drip anywhere once it touches fabric.

Did your boyfriend's penis make direct contact with your vulva at all?

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runway_75
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Oh no, I just had only underwear on and his bare penis was on it and just out of curiosity when you said that "precum is generally not present in enough of a quantity to drip anywhere once it touches fabric" what did you really meant by that? I'm sorry, I just want to understand every bit because of all of these wild stories that I'm seeing on the internet :/
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Allie R
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Hey there Alex!

I think what Molias meant by that ("precum is generally not present in enough of a quantity to drip anywhere once it touches fabric") is that it's highly unlikely that it would drip on the creases/sides of your underwear, which you cited as a fear of yours prior.

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AAR

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Molias
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Well, I mean exactly that. Precum is generally a small amount of fluid. It's not going to drip all over the place once it gets on cloth, but again - even if it did, it's already outside of the realm of direct contact.
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runway_75
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Ohh okay. So what you guys are saying is that Im completely safe and that there's no risk unless we were to have direct contact?
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Allie R
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Pretty much, in terms of your risk for pregnancy. Though pre-ejaculate may contain traces of sperm, there was also a fabric barrier there, really making it minimal to zilch.

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AAR

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runway_75
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Even the creases/side of my undies? Still no risk right? [Smile]
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Allie R
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I feel that Mo and I addressed that one concern of yours fairly comprehensively, in that pre-cum doesn't generally come in quantities that would seep into the creases/sides of one's underwear. Based on the information we've provided you thus far, in the form of responses and articles, do you think the circumstances you've cited suggest that a pregnancy risk is likely?

We want to make sure you have this information down pat, such that you'll independently be able to assess pregnancy risk in the future [Smile]

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AAR

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runway_75
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Lol, I'm sorry I just wanted to make sure about everything we've talked about was clear with me so, I can stop running to the internet about every little thing and stop getting paranoid about it once and for all...it really puts a damper on our relationship.
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Allie R
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I'm glad you want to be clear and thorough with the information you receive from us, though! It helps prevent any miscommunication.

It's important to note that not everything you'll find on the Internet is a credible source; for example, a 14 year old could tell you via Yahoo! answers that you can get pregnant if you dry hump, or that you can't get pregnant whilst on your period , etc. Credible sources- like us!- can provide you with information you can arm yourself with, in order to make informed decisions. In this specific case, you can learn what constitutes as a legitimate pregnancy risk, and what doesn't.

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AAR

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runway_75
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Thank you so very much, you guys made me feel a whole lot better about my pregnancy scares! And yeah yahoo answers were probably the main reasons why I would get easily paranoid cause there would be answers that would begin with a yes,a no or a maybe which always confused the crap out of me >_<
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Allie R
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It's no problem! I've found that covering all my bases (no pun intended), not only in terms of pregnancy prevention, but in many things I do, allows me to feel more in control over my actions, because I know what may result from them. So really, knowledge = power [Smile]

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AAR

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runway_75
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Thank you so much! And I can always come back to ask more questions? Not about pregnancy scares, but if I'm curious about other topics?
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Allie R
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Of course! Provided you try to post under the most appropriate threads for your chosen topic, and double check that you've read all "please read before posting" threads and guidelines- but of course.

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AAR

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runway_75
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Hi you guys it's me again, I hope you don't mind if I ask you guys another question, but I've been experiencing some bloating, and a few chest pains here and there and cramping as well all week and Im a bit scared. I know that what we've covered here isn't a pregnancy risk, but for some reason I'm having these little doubts again... Plus my period will be due this Tuesday could I be experiencing PMS symptoms?? And out of curiosity how early should you experience pregnancy symptoms?? Thank you [Smile]
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Heather
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Here's a piece that should clue you in on pregnancy symptoms: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

Bloating, chest pains and cramping as combined things happening are things a general doctor should have a look at. Mind, it might be that the bloating and cramping is PMS, and the chest pains are because you're keeping anxiety going so much you're starting to mess with your body, but really, I'd not let chest pains go unevaluated if you have access to healthcare. That can be serious health business.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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runway_75
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Hi, Ms. Heather [Smile] I've read the link that you have given and I think it is just PMS symptoms.. I know that sperm especially precum cant travel through clothing, but something in my mind keeps triggering me to believe that I am when really I'm not preggers. Molias and Allie both provided some great info for what I was dealing with and I truly thank them so much for that..but why am I still a little bit worried? It gets me insanely stressed. Is there any more links that you guys can provide to help me stop this worrying of mine?
Thank you so much

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Karybu
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Have you considered taking a pregnancy test? Sometimes it can really help to see that negative result right in front of you. Other than that, taking care of yourself in terms of doing things that help you relax never hurts.

You might find this piece useful too, in terms of understanding how pregnancy can and cannot happen: Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Heather
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Also, why do YOU think you're still worrying?

If you feel clueless about that, it might help to sit down with pen and paper and write down anything and everything you don't quite feel right about, or feel conflicted about or uncomfortable with in regard to the sexual activity you engaged in, the person you engaged it in with or your relationship with them, family values, the works.

Often enough, we find that when people have irrational fears about pregnancy, there is something real underneath, and it's usually some kind of issue or conflict with sex, sexuality, their relationship either that they haven't really thought about or realized was such a big deal for them, or are pushing out of their minds because they don't want to address it.

Even in your first post, I can see some potentially larger issues -- like the fighting, or you seeming to describe this like it was something that happened to you, rather than something you actively chose to do -- that might be the real issue here.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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runway_75
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Yes...the fighting mostly has something to do with. The fights that my BF and I engage in are mostly about me having pregnancy paranoia. We always engage in sexual activities, basically dry sex cause we're both not really ready for the real deal yet. Plus ALL of the girls that I've graduated from school with are preggers and I'm so paranoid about me being one of em. I mean pregnancy is such a beautiful thing nor am I against teen pregnancy, but I wanna be able to have a career 1st before I start a family... My mom is always telling me that I don't want to get pregnant and stuck and that's what I keep telling my BF. I mean my BF loves me very much and he wants the best for me, but he's tired of us going through the same scenario every month [Frown]
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Heather
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Have you thought about that perhaps ANY kind of sex right now isn't the right thing for you if it keeps triggering these fears?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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runway_75
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Yes, my Bf and I have talked about and we both decided to lay off of it for awhile until we're ready to engage into any type of physical contact with one another, but Ms. Heather, I have a problem... Yesterday night while my Bf and I were out I started experiecing some heavy cramping in my lower abdomen. When we got home, I went to the bathroom and then noticed some spotting in my underwear and it was a brownish/reddish color, I wiped my self then saw pink coloring on the tissue. I was really confused by it cause I thought it was my period so I put a pad on. But its a bit strange cause last month I started my period early and my period is supposed to be due this Tuesday...When I woke up this morning I saw NO more spotting or blood on the pad and I'm freaking out. Plus on Thursday and Friday night I had these weird bizarre dreams about me getting my period. But now I'm starting to think otherwise...could I be experiencing Implantation bleeding? I'm really, really scared and nervous that this not an actual period [Frown]
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Heather
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Given it's Sunday, and you're saying you're expecting it Tuesday, I don't see any sound reason NOT to think this is your period.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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