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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » If I got my period last month and haven't been sexual since, could I be pregnant?

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Author Topic: If I got my period last month and haven't been sexual since, could I be pregnant?
BriAnneeeee9595
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Okay guys, sorry I'm back. I know you answered this question before from me, but I've been googling and have came across so many things which state how so many women have had their periods while pregnant (heavy flow with bad cramps). Is this in any way accurate? Thanks :/
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Heather
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No. But I'm sure we've already talked about this.

If in doubt, still, I suggest taking this question about those "so many women" like this to your sexual/reproductive healthcare provider to get a second opinion on that, okay?

I just don't think us answering the same question with the same answer is likely to benefit you. If it didn't have weight or meaning before, it seems unlikely it will now.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I don't believe that you'd give me false information. Thank you.
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Heather
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I'm very dedicated to making sure that people who do not want to become pregnant don't become so, and that people are pregnant get to make all the choices around that they want to to the degree I can do that.

And by all means, that includes making sure that I'm not telling anyone who might be pregnant that they aren't.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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BriAnneeeee9595
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Hey. Me again lol. I have yet another question. My boyfriend and I attempted anal sex again, this time without a condom. It didn't last, he couldn't get it in though, so we stopped. I did however keep my hand over my vagina the entire time.. Weird I know lol.. But my question is could this in any way lead to pregnancy? Thanks.
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Onionpie
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Anal sex does pose a pregnancy risk. If your boyfriend didn't ejaculate, then the risk is considerably lower than it would have been otherwise. If you want to avoid pregnancy risk as much as possible, I suggest using condoms for anal sex from now on, okay?

If you want to reduce your risk a little more, you can take emergency contraception as long as it's within 120 hours (5 days) of the risk.

[ 03-09-2013, 08:04 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I agree. We got caught up in the heat of the moment and that seemed better than vaginal sex since we didn't have a condom. Should I be worried though?
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BriAnneeeee9595
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I don't think the morning after would be possible since nothing really happened.. Do you?
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BriAnneeeee9595
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Logical not possible lol
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Onionpie
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It's entirely up to you. Your risk was pretty low so if you're comfortable with a minor risk, then you get to make that decision. If you're not comfortable with it, you can take EC if you want.

But do know that anal sex, when the person with the penis ejaculates, does pose a substantial risk of pregnancy and also STIs. Condoms aren't just for vaginal sex, they're important for anal sex as well.

Here are our articles on anal sex for more info:
Is Anal Sex No Different?
What Anal Sex Is and Is Not

[ 03-09-2013, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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BriAnneeeee9595
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But he didn't ejaculate so the risk is barely there, if there at all right?
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Onionpie
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As I said, there is still some risk -- there is never NO risk with the kinds of sex that pose potential risks, and that includes anal sex. But yes, because there was no ejaculation, the risk is considerably lower. However, your risk for STI transmission is high in this case. Do you and your partner get tested regularly?
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BriAnneeeee9595
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Neither of us have been with anyone besides each other, so no we haven't. I just don't feel like ec would be important, but I guess I'm confused after what you've told me :/
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Onionpie
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Sorry for the confusion. There has been a small risk of pregnancy with the situation you've described. If you are not comfortable with that level of risk, you can take EC.

Having had no sexual partners before, STIs are less likely, but you can never know for sure that you don't have an STI until you get tested. So I recommend getting tested at least once a year now that you are sexually active, and using condoms for all genital (and anal) contact until you've both been tested and had negative results.

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BriAnneeeee9595
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Would you suggest I take ec? And how much do you think it is?
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Onionpie
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Again, it's entirely up to you whether you're comfortable with the risk. Everyone has different levels of comfort around this so my opinion won't really help you decide what YOUR comfort level is.

I'm not sure what you're asking about in the second question -- how much do I think what is?

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I'm sorry, I was asking how much money do you think it would cost lol. I honestly don't think it's much of a risk because I kept my hand over my vagina the entire time and he didn't even come close to ejaculating. Thank you for the help!
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Onionpie
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Oh okay, no worries. It depends on your area, but it usually costs around $40-$50.
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BriAnneeeee9595
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I don't have that kind of money, and neither does my boyfriend. So I guess I'll just have to wait it out. I have another question. Which has a higher risk for pregnancy. The type of anal sex that we participated in, my hand covering my vagina and no ejaculation, or him rubbing his bare penis in my vulva, but absolutely no vaginal contact. Obviously there was no vaginal contact in any situation, but which do you think runs a higher risk for pregnancy?
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Onionpie
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It's hard to gauge that exactly, they both pose pregnancy risk. Probably the contact between your vulva and his penis would cause a higher risk.

It sounds like you're participating in quite a bit of sexual activity that is posing pregnancy risks without using any protection. I also think that since you're coming here asking questions about pregnancy risk a lot, that you're not really comfortable with the risks you're taking.

Do you want to talk about why you may be participating in sex with risks you're not comfortable with? Would you like to know more about birth control options available to you?

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I would love to be put on birth control for not only the sexual risks, but my period also. My mother is a very good Christusn lady so the whole bc thing is practically out of the question. I tried abstinence for three months or so, but that's so very difficult lol
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BriAnneeeee9595
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Christian*
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Onionpie
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The pill isn't your only birth control option. You can learn about all the other options available to you here:
Birth Control Bingo!

Do you want to talk about why you found abstaining to be so hard, despite being so uncomfortable with the risks associated with the sex you're having?

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BriAnneeeee9595
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Ill read that, thank you for your time and listening to me! I don't feel like my risk was even there, so I guess I'll just leave it alone now and be more prepared next time.
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Onionpie
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Honestly, with the amount of questions about pregnancy risks that you come to us with, I think you should seriously consider taking sex off the table right now.

It seems pretty plain to me that you're not comfortable with the level of risk you're taking/the kinds of sex you're having, and that's not going to change unless you make some changes around the sex you're having.

Considering how many times you've come to us with the same/similar questions, do you feel like you will really be able to start using condoms for any and ALL sexual activity that poses a risk? You don't necessarily have to answer that here, but that's something you have to be honest with yourself about.

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BriAnneeeee9595
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What if it's too late now?
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Onionpie
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What do you mean by that? It's never too late to put on the brakes and take sex off the table -- you get to make that decision whenever you want.
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BriAnneeeee9595
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No, I mean what if I've already screwed up enough and I'm pregnant. I understand what you're saying, but I really enjoy the intimacy until after the fact. Neither my boyfriend or I have much money so idk what to do.
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Onionpie
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Well there are several options available if you do become pregnant. But I think we should only discuss those if it gets to that point, you know? Right now you can either take emergency contraception or wait two weeks and take a pregnancy test.

Sex is something that should be enjoyable before, during, and after the experience itself. Since you're not enjoying the "after", I'd suggest you have a discussion with your boyfriend about changing something around the sex you're having. That could be about taking sex completely off the table for now, or at least slowing down, or investing in birth control and safer sex methods, whatever you need to be able to feel 100% comfortable.

I think that conversation should also include whether you're both in a position where sex is practically possible -- as in, since all vaginal/anal sex poses some risk, even a tiny one; and because people sometimes make mistakes or screw something up, being ready for sex also means being ready to deal with any "accidents" around it, you know? So that means being able to afford condoms or some other birth control method, being able to afford emergency contraception in an emergency, being able to afford STI screenings (and receiving those screenings), and knowing your options if a pregnancy were to happen.

What do you think?

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I guess you're correct. But I just don't feel like pregnancy could be at all possible under my circumstances until I really began talking to you. But I can't afford ec.. So idk what to do.
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Onionpie
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Well, if you really weren't concerned about pregnancy, I'm not so sure that you would be here asking questions over and over again, you know? When someone comes back continuously with the same fear, it's a pretty big indicator that they're not really comfortable with what's going on. So if what's going on doesn't change, you're not going to suddenly start being comfortable with it.

We have a couple of articles that I think you should read and think about and get back to us on this later:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

I also want to make sure you've seen this article as well. It may help clarify for you when there is or is not a pregnancy risk:
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

[ 03-09-2013, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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BriAnneeeee9595
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I guess I don't want to come to terms with the fact that I'm scared. Ill read those articles and I guess in the mean time ill wait it out. Thank you for listening and helping me to reconsider things.
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Onionpie
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No problem, always happy to help figure things out [Smile] I'm heading off now, but others will be back in the morning (and I'll be back again in the evening) to talk through this some more with you if you'd like. You're really brave for having this conversation and thinking about all of this, by the way. I hope from here on out you start to feel more able to make decisions that you're happy with [Smile] Goodnight!
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BriAnneeeee9595
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Would it be very rare in my situation to become pregnant?
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