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Author Topic: Potential pregnancy scare?
Showmelove
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Hey guys So I just wanted to give you the latest update. and ask for one more advice. Okay so me and my boyfriend are fine like i had said earlier post i was not going to do anything that is going to worry me to much and i kept that promise.
My question is something a little different today Feb 20 My boyfriend used my shower because his didnt have any hot water. So he took a shower around 6pm and i was at work till 8 when i came back i decided to take a shower, but instead of a shower i took a bath, I was doing fine until i saw the sponge you use to wash your body, I was thinking obiousky my boyfriend used that to take a shower and to wash his Penis most likely is there any chance sperm can be on that and stil alive or even in the bathtub? I was sitting down for like 5 min and then i got up and took a shower instead because it had me thinking. Can you Help me please. Oh and Btw i am bearly starting my period today. If that even counts its kinda like a bloddy discharge, so i am getting ready to start.

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Robin Lee
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Hi Showmelove,

If you haven't already, can you please take a look back through the discussion we already had about what poses pregnancy risks, and read through the articles again?

If you have any more concerns after that, come on back. [Smile]

Thanks.

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Robin

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Showmelove
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I did and it does not say anything about the bathtub or shower
Unless I am missing it but I read the articles

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Alexalex
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Hi Showmelove-

try this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/reproduction/where_did_i_come_from_a_refresher_course_in_human_reproduction

and scroll down to "Can I get pregnant if my partner ejaculates in his pants/in the bathtub/in Afghanistan (and so forth)?"

I think you'll find your answer :-) Sperm are interesting little beasties, but they're not superheroes.

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Showmelove
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I did find that very helpful, thank you so know i know you cant get pregnant by that, Thank you.
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Robin Lee
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Glad you found the answer you needed. [Smile]

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Robin

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Showmelove
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Hey I don't mean to be a big again -_- it's just that has me
Stressed out. I know I found my answer but at the same time
I am still thinking about it I guess. So there is no possible way I can right it's not possible?

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Robin Lee
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Hey Showmelove,

Quite often, we have found that when people continue to be worried about pregnancy when they have learned that it's not possible from what they've experienced, they're feeling worry about something else.

Is there anything, anything at all, going on in your life that's bothering or upsetting you? Have you been able to share this worry about pregnancy with anyone in your life?

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Robin

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Showmelove
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No nothing else is happening its just i guess i dont want to get pregnant because i am not ready to be a mom. And my boyfriend knows and respects my decision about not having sex, Its just that i am scared something like that can happen, and like i shared before i went to a private school and we didnt get a sex ed class.
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Robin Lee
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Nodding...So, what information do you feel like you need right now to help you understand how what you described above isn't a pregnancy risk? It sounds like you understand that it isn't, but you're not exactly sure how or why it isn't? Am I understanding that right?

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Robin

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Showmelove
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I guess i am just unsure because My period was only 3 days and i am just wondering if thats normal.
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Robin Lee
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It's very common for a period to be different every once in a while from how it usually is. Heck, some people experience a period that is different every time they have it.

Our bodies aren't machines. There's a whole bunch of hormones, and chemical reactions that go into making the body do what it does, and those aren't gong to be the same from month to month, or even day to day. Also, things like stress, or changes in eating habits, or just a change in schedule, can throw those hormones off and contribute to something different happening.

So, if a period is a little shorter or longer than it usually is, or a little heavier or a little lighter, that is not anything to be concerned about. [Smile]

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Robin

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Showmelove
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and yeah i am not exactly sure why it isint a pregnancy risk. Like i i know that its not likely but why is that? I would like to know information about pregnancy and sperm. I guess just because i didn't get sex education
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Robin Lee
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Nodding...have you seen this guide to how reproduction works?

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

Does what I said above about periods make sense?

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Robin

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Showmelove
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yes it does thank you i guess having a short period was stressing me out when the incident happen it was my first day of my period so i just thought that those 5 min could of made a difference.
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Showmelove
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And i have to confess something, I am paranoid about getting pregnant right now, i do want to be a mom but when i am ready. Also the reason maybe i am stressing even more about the topic is because it was not my boyfriend that took a shower, It was my dad I just didnt want to say that because thats kind of weird for me lol. so i put my boyfriend instead.
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Showmelove
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My dad took at shower at like 6 and then i took a shower like 8 so it would of been 2 hours and i let the water go for like 5 min.
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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey, you know it's really understandable. Feel free to make euphamisms like that if it makes you feel more comfortable. We are not people you need to confess to. These are your decisions and I respect them.

[ 02-24-2013, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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In response to your next post, like we've said and you have concluded pregnancy can't happen this way no matter the timing. We have given you all the info... the only step missing is you believing yourself. Do you think anything stops you from doing that?
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Showmelove
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Okay i guess i just needed a confirmation on that. Thank you both for your help.
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Showmelove
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I need you guys help again. So today me and boyfriend
Got a little carried away he started stimulating
My private part through my clothes but then
After he licked me down there for like 3 seconds
Until I told him to stop he did this twice and then
He stopped after I told him so he pretty much
Gave me oral sex now I am freakin out and I am
Loosing sleep because of all the std there is out
There my boyfriend said he is perfectly fine
Or else he would p not done it but I am still
Freakin out like there are other stds besides HIV and I don't
Want to catch any of that! My vagina was stinging/burning
After he did that. Now I just feel icky and want to cry.
And I don't know what to do! Can you please help me

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey Showmelove,

It sounds like you didn't have any direct skin-to-skin-with-fluids-present contact (because he licked you through your clothes). And so, what we'd call STIs would not be able to spread. It's possible some irritation you're talking about was caused by the rubbing, but if it stings when you pee you might want to check with a doctor if you have a UTI (which would be unrelated to the sexual stimulation you've described)

As you can see there's a similarity between this and your pregnancy risks questions. You stated earlier that you felt you were paranoid about pregnancy and I'm wondering why you're not investigating that further... This seems like the same thing.

Given the pattern, seeking reassurance from us could even be part of your problem. It might be that you just don't feel ready to deal with the tough questions of where this all comes from but it wouldn't really be fair to you for us to just answer these.

So where are you with that? Do you have an idea of where this general fear is coming from? Are there perhaps bigger things in your life or relationships you wish you could change or escape?

PS. I'm really sad to hear your boyfriend did anything you weren't into. It also sounds like he continued a after you asked him to stop which doesn't sound good either. You really deserve for him to respect what you don't want.

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Showmelove
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No he liked me on my direct skin for like 5 seconds and then when I said stop he stopped we were in the heat I the moment
And I did investigate it I was searching it on the Internet
And it worried me even more. After I said stop he stopped and
Then I told him I didn't like that and I felt gross and he
Was really sorry that he did that. He felt horrible
After because I felt horrible after.

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Showmelove
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And the paranoid comes from me being a virgin and want it
That way until I get married. I am an old fashion girl not having
Penis vagina sex until marriage. Andy my boyfriend respects that but he does tell me it's hard for him but that he will wait until I am ready no mater how long it is. Ad the oral sex part well that's a different story that is getting and Std which I would not like to get in my life either.

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Ok so there is a bit of an STI risk there, his tongue would need to be infected with something for you to catch it. It's very unlikely HIV can be caught this way (I just read somewhere that there have been no reported cases).

Having risked an STI doesn't need to be the worst thing ever. It just entails getting tested if you're curious to see if you have caught anything, and managing it if you have caught something, which can often mean taking some antibiotics, using a cream and avoiding sexual contact for a short while, then you can get back to normal. It's generally a health annoyance and little more. (Problems are more likely to happen when people don't investigate or treat worsening symptoms of infections, or can't access medication or healthcare)

It also doesn't have to be gross, especially no more than dealing with a toothache or flu.

Something else about all this, however is freaking you out, and I'm guessing it's emotional, not biological. What do you think?

[ 03-02-2013, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Showmelove
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Yeah I read that but then I read there are a few cases in another website so I don't what to believe and it's deffenetly emotional because I am one of those people that worry and for say I do catch an sti will it show up right away? And I just used the bathroom and it does not hurt when I pee. And I knew there was some risk of sti that's why after it happened I felt horrible an my boyfriend was really sad and sorry.
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Showmelove
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I did not give him oral sex it was only him to me . So is there a difference on what sti only I can get because I was the one recieveing it.
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Showmelove
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"If a male is giving oral sex to a woman, I consider that to be a low-risk exposure," Warren says. But if a woman's regular partner has oral herpes, "that's a whole different discussion," she says. This is what it said in a website
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Robin Lee
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Well, Do you know who Warren is, and what her credentials are? It's always important to evaluate that before deciding if what they have to say is true. [Smile]

This article should help you start evaluating what sources you can trust.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/legit_or_unfit_finding_safe_sound_sex_educators_support_online

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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Here's a breakdown of sexual activities and STI risks:

STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes

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Robin

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Showmelove
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No I don't know who that is. So I shoul not trust what she is saying? And thank you for the article. So what would you advice me to do? If you don't mind me asking for your advice?
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Showmelove
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What are the chances of me catching any of those I my boyfriend says he is fine. Does he have to have any of that for me to catch it? He didn't have cuts in his mouth or a cold sore. And I don't think I had any cuts either I had shaved earlier in the day but I didn't cut myself at least I don't think so I usually see it right away
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Showmelove
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And this is the first time that he does that and it will never happen again! I don't know if being the first one for both of us matters at all?
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September
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If both of you have never been sexually involved with anyone else, then the chances are low that either of you have an STI. But some STIs, such as herpes, can also be transmitted in non-sexual ways, so there is still some risk.

When your boyfriend says he is fine, does he say that because he's been tested and was negative for all STIs? Or because he's feeling healthy and does not have any symptoms? I ask because STIs are often asymptomatic, which means that you may have something and not know because you are not showing any symptoms. So the only way to know for sure is to get tested.

If you are worried about STIs, the best thing you can do is to get tested, and to start using proper protection from now on. Do you want any help from us with what that means?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Showmelove
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I've beer been sexually active he on the other hand has been sexually active but he has worn a condom all those times. I know that herpes can be had no cold sores in his mouth. And I don't think he ha been tested. But he says that he has always been a condom and it has never broke or slipped. I mean I would want him to go get tested but idk how to tell him that without hurting his feelings by me accusing him that he has something. Me on the other hand have never been sexually active. So you think I could have catched something ?
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