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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Arousal & "getting wet"

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Author Topic: Arousal & "getting wet"
Member # 97563

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Hey guys,

What exactly does it feel like to be aroused, like for us girls? I'm pretty sure I used to get aroused twenty times easier about a year ago. Now, almost anything my boyfriend does, doesn't get me going very strongly down there. Yeah I mean they feel good, but those little tingles of pleasure tend to shoot upwards, and not down. I don't get "wet" very easily, and if I do it's never really a lot. Fingering is not pleasant uncomfortable, and sometimes it stings. I really want to be able to enjoy engaging is activities with my boyfriend, but I'm just so frustrated that I can't get aroused enough. Fooling around is more work than fun, and really, I'd just rather it be enjoyable. Can anyone give me some tips? Explanations? Thank so muchh!

Posts: 25 | From: -- | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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It sounds from your post like you already have a pretty good idea what arousal feels like for you. But if you'd like to read up on this, you can check out this article: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

What I am hearing from your post is that you feel you are now experiencing less arousal, or that it is harder for you to get aroused. And if your feelings around something like that change, it's always a good idea to start by looking at whether our situation has changed in any way. So, how is your relationship with your partner going in other respects? Is it going pretty well or are there some problems? Have there been any significant changes? What about other areas of your life - are you feeling pretty good about things, or are you feeling stressed or anxious about something?

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 97563

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Well my relationship with my boyfriend is great! I love and adore him. There are really no problems with our relationship. He's the first guy I've ever started fooling around with, and I just wish it was more fun for me.

And my life in general has been great! So I don't know what the problem could be.

I was on birth control for over a year until November of 2012 for hormonal reasons, then stopped because towards the end of that year I had no desire for any kind of affection towards anyone (such as simple things as hugging my own mother). When I first started BC, I was easily aroused even though back then I didn't want to be because I didn't want to be fooling around. And then I recently started it back up a week ago because of hormonal reasons as well. Do you think birth control plays a role in this?

Guys, I really need help. I'm frustrated beyond belief.

Posts: 25 | From: -- | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Haleigh H
Member # 103145

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justagirl1219 that sounds really frustrating. Did you get a chance to read Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide ? If so, did you find that helpful?

If you are having trouble getting sexually aroused I think lubricant will help and I think it will take away the discomfort. There is a great page about it here, Lubricant (not diamonds) Is A Girls Best Friend

But if your having problems with intimacy and you've experienced these problems before as a side-affect of your birth control I think you should talk to you doctor. There are so many different options for birth control and your doctor will likely be able to help you find one that works better for you.

What do you think?


Posts: 176 | From: Kansas City, Missouri | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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