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m_azul
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How effective are hormonal birth control pills if they're taken between 1:30 and 4:30 in the evening? I only had genital to genital contact(no penetration) with my bf and I was wondering. I just finished my bleed yesterday. I know in theory all contact can lead to pregnancy, but this is extremely unlikely and pretty mmuch no reason for concern correct?

I just starting my 3rd pack today around 2pm. This contact happened this morning.

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Robin Lee
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The pill's effectiveness is not impacted by what time of day i it is taken so long as it's the same time of day every day. Taking the pill within a three hour window like that is considered taking it at the same time.

This link includes information on effectiveness rates.
Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)

Bare genital-to-genital contact also presents a risk of STI transmission. Are both you and your partner up-to-date on your STI tests?

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Robin

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m_azul
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Yes we are up to date. And I read the link.. Pretty much no risk! Since I'm a "perfect user" correct? Thanks!
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Robin Lee
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There's never no risk, but it's certainly low.

If you're not comfortable with the level of risk there is, you can opt to use a condom for this sexual activity, or for one or both of you to wear some clothing.

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Robin

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m_azul
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My boyfriend and I have just been sooo amazing lately that things got too far out of hand in the moment (thankfully I'm on birth control for two months so far this time!!!).

But I know EC is always an option out there, but it really isn't necessary due to birth control already doing what EC does, right?

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Robin Lee
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Yes, that's right. Unless something went amiss with taking your birth control pills, emergency contraception wouldn't decrease pregnancy risk in any significant way.

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Robin

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m_azul
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Alright. Awesome! [Smile] that's a relief!

I read the buddy system, (even though we never had penetration) he didn't ejaculate so that's technically "withdrawal" if not safer because he was never in me

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m_azul
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I guess that could be called the "buddy system" Wouldn't that be triple protection? Pills, no ejaculation, and no penetration?
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Heather
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If you didn't have any direct genital contact at all, then really, the whole thing is moot because there weren't any pregnancy risks for any contraception to protect FROM.

If you did have genital-to-genital contact, then those risks exist, and it's not really sound to figure that having a penis enter your vagina versus rubbing on your vulva or vaginal opening makes any measurable difference. When it comes to STIs and pregnancy, especially with young people, it's sound to figure the same levels of risks are likely posed.

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m_azul
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I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid I don't understand that last reply.

And being on BCPs for two packs--- my pills are at full effectiveness correct?

And millions of women reply on BCPs as their only form of birth control, right? And it works when taken correctly.

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Onionpie
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Heather means that it's not about there being no penetration, but about a lack of direct genital contact. So if you and your partners' penis and vulva were rubbing against each other, you should figure there's as much risk there as if there had been penetration.

Make sense?

[ 01-28-2013, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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m_azul
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Yes that makes sense. We didn't rub over and over but it may have been a second of direct contact bc he got on top of me til I told him we should stop. It was like a second.. And it wasn't around my entrance. Does that make a difference? There was a lot of precum... But no ejaculation.

Also could you please take a look at my question in the post before my last one?

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Karybu
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After two packs, your pills are at full effectiveness, yes (as long as you've been taking them correctly, which you have).

Per the amount of time that there was genital contact, that actually doesn't make a difference in terms of risk. If his penis came in contact with your vulva - right at the entrance to the vagina or not doesn't matter - then there was a risk. Does that help?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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m_azul
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Yes. That makes sense [Frown]
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Karybu
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Do you want to talk a bit more about your feelings around all this?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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m_azul
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Yes please.

I want to do all these things with my boyfriend so bad. We've been together for 4 1/2 years, and I love him so much. I'm in college, and I want to marry him. But I can't do all these sexual things without a load of worry. We didn't have a condom handy (wish we would've) but we didn't. I wish I could trust my pills only. Are they designed to be that reliable? My doc didn't talk to me about that since I wanted them for irregularity. I want to be able to do these things without excessive worry. That'd be amazing. I want to be able to use the pills, but I get scared and panicky. I thought taking pills may help, but I found out this morning I still freak.

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Karybu
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The pill is a very effective method all on its own when used properly, but if it would make you feel better, there's no reason not to double up with another method like condoms. Would that help with your worry, do you think?

If you want, we can talk about where this anxiety about pregnancy might be coming from, too.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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m_azul
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Yes that would help probably, possibly not :/

I just want to take my pills and have fun enjoying things sexually with my boyfriend. But I always worry.

My worry, I think, comes from having a strict family as well as I'm just not ready for a child. I don't want a child when I'm not r ready and that's what really scares me.

Is the pills effective enough that I shouldn't think so hard on what happened this morning?

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Heather
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Really, as we've talked about with you before, the thing to sort through here may be to think more about if YOU feel ready for any of this -- not about what you want, about what you feel ready to handle -- even with reliable methods of birth control.

You might, but you might not. For some people, having reliable BC, even more than one kind, just still doesn't get them to ready. And contraceptives also don't have the power to banish feelings of shame and guilt, or fear about your family. If only! So, it might be you need to do some more thinking and emotional work around that stuff before you really feel okay with some or all sexual activities, or with a sexual relationship of any kind right now.

We can't tell anyone what they should think: that's not our place, nor is that something we can control.

Really, it's on you to sort out if you are really up to any of this or not, and to make choices to only engage in any kind of sex when you truly feel able to handle it. And I'd say that includes being able to handle it without having to check in with an external source to talk you off a ledge per pregnancy fears each time, you know?

How about you just think about that yourself for a little while, working hard to recognize sometimes we all may want things we aren't ready to handle, and so what we want, all by itself, won't always tell us what we need at a given time?

I also need you to bear in mind the user registration agreement you made with us when you registered, okay? Specifically the part of it around our limits on how many times we'll talk a given user through pregnancy scares. If you don't remember that part, you can review the agreement here: http://www.scarleteen.com/user_guidelines_privacy_policy

Given the number of times we've gone through this with you far exceeds three, it's time for us to set and hold our limit around that with you so we can manage our services best in regard to all our users and our staff. So, from here on out, you will need to manage any pregnancy scares on your own, though we're happy to talk with you about other issues if you'd like, including how to make sexual choices that fit your own needs and readiness for them better. [Smile]

[ 01-28-2013, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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m_azul
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Okay I will do that. It's like I WANT to be ready sooo bad but then I think "oh gosh what if" again. But, if there were any reason why BCPs weren't effective they wouldn't be sooo popular and would have a bad reputation I suppose. I'm not even sure we had contact... I tried to block him from touching me so hopefully he didn't.

Don't a lot of women have full on sex with ejaculation and trust the pills just fine, right? Have any of you done that?

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m_azul
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And thank you heather. For everything!
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Heather
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Yes, a lot of people feel comfortable engaging in sex with a risk of pregnancy and using reliable contraception. But plenty of people also don't at one time or another, too. I don't think we have broad data on this to draw from we can cite, but we can say we know that some people, at various times in their lives, simply aren't okay taking ANY risk of pregnancy, even a .000000000-00001% risk.

And that's okay, because no one has to be. There are so many ways to engage in sex or to express a sexuality. Rubbing a penis and a vagina together or putting one inside the other is but one of that many. And on top of that, people can express a sexuality even without being physical in any way, if that's what they feel most comfortable with.

Really there are also so many times in life when we may want something very bad but still know we just can't handle it yet, or don't have what we need to make that thing a positive experience. So, we do what we need to to get there, if we still want to get there and we want something badly. Or, we find other ways to experience or explore something of the thing we want that also fits with our own needs and limitations.

But if we ignore those limitations or needs, we don't tend to magically have them just go away, you know? We can't usually just push past them: we've got to honor them, sort them out, and figure out what we need to do to make a thing we want ALSO be in alignment with the things we need.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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(And you're welcome. [Smile] )

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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m_azul
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I know there's a lot more to affection but I loved the feeling I had, until afterwards. Though I've only had two packs, just to be clear... I wouldn't have ovulated this past month nor will I this coming month. Right?

If so you have to have ovulation to even think about pregnancy!!

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Heather
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Like I said, we're setting and holding our limit about further talking through a pregnancy scare with you, and asking you to respect that limit, please. Thanks.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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m_azul
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Okay, I apologize for pushing that limit. I totally forgot. Thank you all for talking to me far beyond that limit. You have helped more than you can imagine!
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m_azul
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Hey there! I have taken my pills consistently! Any activity from yesterday would be covered by yesterday's and the pills before right? If I have a touch of a stomach virus (frequent bowel movements) I should be okay right? Just maybe use a backup method from here on out?
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Robin Lee
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I think we already covered this above. What specifically are you asking?

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Robin

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m_azul
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Yes, we discussed above that birth control pills are highly effective when taking them like I do, but I'm specifically asking is there anything I need to do if I've had diarrhea today? I read this lowers effectiveness, but since BCPs do so many things to prevent pregnancy, I would be covered correct? The diarrhea could effect me if say I had intercourse tonight, right?
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m_azul
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This is my last question, I promise! If I take my pills at say, 2pm and start my new pack at 5:45 instead of 2pm like my last inactive pill, is that considered late?? I thought as long as it was at the same time every day (for me between lunch and dinner) it was fine, but the article on here states that a pill taken more than 24 hrs apart than your last one is late if I'm understanding correctly.

The day I took my pill at 5:45 is the day I potentially had a risk.

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Robin Lee
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IN terms of diarrhea, it depends what you are meaning by diarrhea. True diarrhea is very loose stools that last for hours, days, or weeks. One loose bowel movement does not count as diarrhea.

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Robin

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m_azul
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I don't think it was actual diarrhea.

And I apologize, just pills are so confusing for me!! I took an inactive pill, then my first active pill 27 1/2 hours later. I never went an evening without taking a pill. (That's probably a better rewording of my last post) is this fine?

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Robin Lee
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Yes, that's okay.

IN general, you'll want to be especially sure to take the first pill of your new pack on time so in future I'd suggest being extra aware of doing so, but it doesn't sound like your effectiveness was significantly compromised here.

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Robin

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m_azul
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Yay! What a relief [Smile]

I've done some researching on BCPs and as long as I take them as I should, I feel very comfortable with them. I am not 100% sure I had genital contact with my bf, but if I had it would've been like 5 seconds, but I'd be covered as long as my pills were on time. And you just said it was fine [Smile] thanks for talking and I feel a lot more comfortable now that I know more about my medication. It is just amazing to me how a daily pill is that tough to prevent pregnancy :0

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m_azul
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Hey! I've taken a break from posting, and I've realized that my pill wasn't late! I took my first active pill later than usual, then the activity I was worried about was the next morning, and I took that pill on time [Smile]

I think I would've noticed, but I don't know if I had contact with my bf (this may sound weird, but I kept my hand on him to try to prevent contact bc I know how I worry) but it wouldn't have been intentional full on rubbing anyway, we were just making out... But contact is contact so I don't guess that matters.

With that all being said, my pill was perfect timing, I had the most protection I could've possibly had with the pill, correct? The only thing missing is I should've had condoms for STI protection.

My second question is steering away from the prior question topics...
Do guys have different amounts of precum? My bf used to only have a little, now it's a lot. Does that make his precum have an increased ability to result in pregnancy if when we're married and do withdrawal? It wasn't ejaculation, because that looks totally different I'm assuming. It's just a lot of clear sticky stuff (not white).

Thanks!

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