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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Letting go of fear

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Author Topic: Letting go of fear
MIKERD
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Okay so I recently had a discussion mainly with heather about the fact that dry humping is no way to get a girl pregnant even with a full ejaculation, if there are 4 full layers of clothing. But I can't seem to stop worrying about this. I keep thinking that maybe there is a possibility that there is a pregnancy. If my gf said she had her period like 4 days after the dry humbling incident, which was the normal time of month for her to get it. Then she got her next period on time the following month. Now (another month later) she says she is going to get her next period soon. As expected. All of these periods have been "on time" does it sound like she could be pregnant?

I have been told SOO many times that pregnancy isn't possible this way so why am I still concerned about this?

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Robin Lee
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HI MIKERD,

Do you feel like you have a good understanding of *why* this sexual activity can't lead to pregnancy? That is, if someone asked you to explain it to them, do you feel like you could?

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Robin

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MIKERD
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Hi Robin, yea I believe that if I had to explain why this activity does not pose a risk of pregnancy that I could. I think that sometimes I just doubt that reasoning, and irrational thinking takes over. Would you like me to explain to you what I have come to understand?
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Robin Lee
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Whatever you think would be helpful to you. [Smile]

Why do you think irrational thinking takes precedence over fact in your thought process sometimes?

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Robin

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MIKERD
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From what I understand sperm cannot travel through fabric because, it needs semen to swim. But if the fabric absorbs the semen the sperm cannot swim? And that there needs to be DIRECT genital to genital contact in order to pose a risk of pregnancy.

I think the irrational thinking comes from a fear of pregnancy and I don't know I just want my worrying to go away and know that there is no way she is pregnant.

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Robin Lee
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You got it. Sperm just don't move from place to place without semen. [Smile]

What do you think would convince you that your girlfriend isn't pregnant?

In talking with people who are worried about pregnancy risks that aren't possible, we sometimes find that this worry is actually a stand-in for something else in their lives that they're worrying about. So, I just want to check in with you about how things are in general? Is there anything worrying you a lot in any other part of your life? How are things going with your relationship with your girlfriend? How are things going with relationships with other people in your life, such as family and friends?

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Robin

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MIKERD
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Things with my girlfriend seem to be going very well. Everything els in general is also well. I usually worry a little bit about stuff but everyone does. Ever since this dry humping thing I feel like I have realized that any other problems in my life are minor and aren't worth worrying about. If there is some other worry that is causing me to worry about pregnancy, then I definitely can't pinpoint it at the time.
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MIKERD
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I think if I knew for a fact that it is 100 percent impossible for her to get pregnant through all of our clothes. Like under any circumstances. Then that would help. I also worry about her periods. Because I understand that women sometimes don't always miss their period when they are pregnant. Like if she has been having her period doesn't that mean she isn't pregnant?
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Karybu
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It seems that you do know that, from what you've said here and the information we've given you.

Per her periods, it is not possible to have a normal period and be pregnant. Some women do have bleeding during pregnancy, but that isn't the same as a period (and it tends not to look or feel like a period, nor show up at the same time a period would).

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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MIKERD
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So she wouldn't be mistaking pregnancy related bleeding with bleeding because of a period?
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Robin Lee
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Pregnancy-related bleeding is really pretty rare, and the chances that it would follow the pattern someone's menstrual cycle followed is practically impossible.
I think though that we might be going over old ground here, things that you've already discussed with people in your previous thread. Is there any other information that you feel you still don't have?

.

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Robin

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MIKERD
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Well why should I bother asking questions if pregnancy isn't possible from ejaculation if both partners are fully clothed.
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MIKERD
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Actually. Howcome if the semen is soaked up in the fabric the Soren can't swim through the semen in the fabric and make it to the other side?
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Robin Lee
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[Smile] NO, pregnancy isn't possible in that sense, but it's usually good when we can understand something fully. [Smile]

It's the fluidity of semen, the texture, that helps the sperm move; if that fluidity isn't there anymore, nothing is going anywhere.

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Robin

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