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Author Topic: sexuality and stuff...
nicolle
Neophyte
Member # 101990

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this is my first writing about my sexuality. Im 14 and im bisexual. But, only a few of my friends know about me. Im attracted to women more than men to be honest. i just dont know how to tell people?! And im so afraid of what my dad will think! He always talks about how he thinks its so wrong to not only be attracted to men if your a women. What if my sexuality gets out and he finds out? How will he ever understand? i dont know what to do? PLEASE, give me some answers... [Confused]
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi nicolle and welcome to Scarleteen,

It sounds like you're pretty confident in yourself and in who you find attractive, but are worried about what other people will think.

When you say that you aren't sure how to tell people, are you asking about any specific people, or just people in general?

I can imagine that it feels pretty intimidating knowing how your father feels about people who aren't heterosexual. Can you tell me a bit more about what makes you afraid he'll find out? Are you afraid someone will tell him or that he'll somehow find out some other way?

Do you have an idea of how other people in your family feel about sexual orientation?

I'm including some links here to articles that I think you might find helpful.
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_want_to_come_out_to_my_friends_but_how_do_i_make_sure_theyll_accept_me

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/im_bisexual_so_why_dont_i_feel_exactly_the_same_about_men_and_women
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/the_rainbow_connection_orientation_for_everyone

[ 01-16-2013, 10:03 PM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]

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Robin

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nicolle
Neophyte
Member # 101990

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when i say that i dont know how to tell people, i mean people in general, like my friends, random people, and partically my dad.

its really hard knowing that he doesnt accept bisexuals. im so afraid that when\ if i come out he will find out from someone else. But im too scared to have the guts to tell him to his face.

i sometimes get depressed because i know that i would be sooooo happy if i would just tell my family, but no one in my family is gay/lesbian/bisual, etc. So i feel like im an outsider... hiding everything in, and faking who i am to make people happy.

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Kachina
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42505

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Well, how do you KNOW no one in your family is LGBT? They don't know about you, right, so there could be someone else who is not open about it.

I would say you don't have to tell random people at all (people don't go around announcing their sexuality to random people, after all) and if you aren't ready to tell the people close to you, you don't have to do that either. You can do it later, when you feel more sure of yourself, when you have a better idea of how they might react, etc.

I'm sorry your family is unaccepting of bisexuality. [Frown] A lot of times, parents do come around to being more open about it when they find out it's their child, rather than some ambiguous "other" that is gay or bi. But you do want to make sure you are safe first before you tell them (ie. if they would kick you out or something over it, it might be better to wait until you are independent)

Did you read those articles Robin linked?

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 876 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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