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Author Topic: Need Advice
olemgirlygirl
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Hello Scarleteen,

I have two questions to ask you. First of all I talked to my doctor about switching pills so she gave me a new prescription. My problem is that when I went to pick up my new pills today the hormonal pills start on Sunday while my old pack starts on Wednesday. This month I will be starting my new pill packet but I am not sure how to start it. Is it okay if I take my sugar pills as always but from wed-sat, then on Sunday I can start my new pills? It would mean I will be only taking 4 sugar pills then I will be starting my new packet. Will that mess up my cycle for that month or is it okay to do this?

Another question, me and my bf have been dating for 2 years and lately he has been mentioning about sex. He asked me when I wanted to do it and I just keep telling him I’m not ready. To be honest I kind of want to wait until I’m married. I want it to be special and I want no risks on pregnancy what’s so ever until I am officially married. I know I can use 2 methods of birth control and be safe but it still scares me, even thinking about it gives me the chills. I guess I am just scared to tell him this. Do you think I should tell him the next time he brings it up again? The thing is I want to get the courage to do it when the time comes, but I’m one of those people who say they will do it and end up chickening out. Me and my bf perform manual sex and that alone is enough for me. He also has slept with 5 girls before me and I have not slept with anyone in my life. The number kind of bothers me and how much experience he has while I have none. Anyways sorry for making this so long... I really just need advice.

Posts: 44 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
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Birth control pills often come with little stickers you can put over the days to relabel them... You really should keep taking it as you have been to keep it effective. If you want to switch the days you start I would ask your doctor what the best way to do that is.

For your second question, communication is very important in a relationship. You definitely want to be able to feel comfortable talking to him about this kind of thing, especially before you go any farther sexually. What are you nervous about in talking to him about this?

Here's a communication article that might offer some assistance:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

And here's a page I like that can help you figure out what boundaries you want to set around sex. It can be useful to fill out for yourself before you talk with your boyfriend so you have a clear idea of what what you need to discuss and what you want your limits to be.
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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olemgirlygirl
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Hello Kachina thanks so much for all your information and sorry for taking so long to reply. I found the stickers to put on my birth control package so I didn't have to switch the day to start my new package. I talked to my bf and I am so happy we talked because he said he would wait. Thank you so much for all your help - your site and all the girls on the site really give just so much information so thanks!

I also had a question about birth control, I have been with Aleese for almost a year and I never had a problem with them till now. The pills seem to make me miss my withdrawal bleed while taking the sugar pill week. I talked to my doctor so she prescribed me with a different brand. Last month I was still on my old pack and never got my bleeding, this month I am on my new pack and I will be starting my sugar pills tomorrow - I don't have any cramps or anything like I usually do a week before and I have a fear I won’t get my withdrawal bleed again this month. Me and my bf have never had intercourse before and the sexual activity we did this month or last month was no risk of pregnancy. Just last week even though there was no risk I still went out to buy a pregnancy test which seems so silly but this whole no bleeding thing is really worrying me. It came back negative but I just don’t know how to calm myself down. If I miss my period again this month it will come up to not having my period for two months in a row and that just scares me so much. Do you think this is normal? Do you think birth control could mess up a cycle that much? I am just so frustrated because I don’t miss any pills or take them late. Last month I took them perfectly and this month I only messed up once with one pill – I took it 2.5 hours late which shouldn’t even mess up my cycle. Technically it’s not counted as late until 24hours anyways right?

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Robin Lee
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HI There,

It's really not that unusual for someone to miss a withdrawal bleed sometimes.

Since you've started a new brand of pills, you may find that your body responds differently; hence a possible reason why you don't have cramps right now. Worrying that you won't get your withdrawal bleed before your inactive pills even start is putting the cart before the horse a little. [Smile]

So, how about we wait a couple of days and see if it comes?

I'm wondering too if this anxiety about pregnancy even with all the facts is about something else? perhaps you're still feeling the anxiety and tension you were feeling before you had that talk with your boyfriend? It can take a while for anxiety to discipate even when we consciously feel better.

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Your right I just need to wait a bit and see if it comes. It usually comes on my third sugar pill, but it may be different with this brand of pills. I will try not to worry and just wait it out. I do feel a little bit of anxiety and tension before so maybe that is why I still feel scared. Well I am going to take your advice and take all the sugar pills because I don't know if it will come or not. Thanks so much Robin and I will keep you updated on my withdrawal bleed.
[Smile]

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olemgirlygirl
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Hey just a quick update my period came, I think I need to start worrying less about pregnancy risks and more about higher risks such as STD Risks.
Speaking about STD RISKS I have a question about them. As you already know from older posts I have never had intercourse, but my boyfriend has with his past girlfriends and also without protection. He got tested for STD’S, so both the physical test as well as the blood test. He said that they did not call him back so he assumes he is okay as they would have called if they did find something? It’s been a month already and no call but I told him to call first thing in the morning to find out just to be safe and so I won’t have to worry. Anyways bottom line you can get a STD from something like for example Aids from blood transfers or obviously sexual intercourse. When you say you can get a STD from fingering or oral, does that person need to have the disease to transfer to you? Or the fact if someone doesn’t wash their hands and touches you there is a STD Risk even if that person doesn’t have the disease? What about even kissing? If his tests come out that he is clean would you suggest that I test? Or would I not need to worry since I have not had any other sexual encounter with anyone but more boyfriend? (I’m talking about only doing oral, fingering and kissing with him and have not done that with anyone else, besides kissing past boyfriends.)

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Kachina
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Even if his results are negative, you should still get a test because there is no HPV test for men.

STIs can only transfer from someone who has one. Some transfer by skin-to-skin contact (like HPV and Herpes) and others through fluid exchange (like HIV).

If someone has no STIs but doesn't wash their hands and then sticks them on or in someone else's (or their own) genitals, it could spread bacteria there and cause a bacterial infection. We recommend washing hands to prevent this.

Here's some more info:
STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes
HPV & Herpes: Why Safer Sex Isn't Always Safe Enough
Testing, Testing...

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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smittenkitten
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Glad to hear your period came [Smile]

Good on you for being proactive about your sexual health and STI risk. (Sexually Transmitted Infection - same thing as an STD)

As far as I know, clinics won't necessarily call if there's something wrong, sometimes you have to ring for results. You should get your boyfriend to call the clinic and check his tests were clean. It should only take a couple of minutes and will mean peace of mind for both of you.

STIs don't just materialize out of the ether. You or your partner need to carry the infection in order to pass it to one another.

Whether you test is up to you. I would suggest having a test if you have been engaging in sexual activities with your boyfriend, even if his tests are clear, just so your bases are covered.

You might find it useful to read:
STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes
Testing, Testing...
Without sexual contact, could I have an STI?

Marion

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olemgirlygirl
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So my boyfriend called the clinic and everything turned out fine and he is clean. Well I only have been engaging in sexual activities with the boyfriend that I am currently with now. I have not done any other sexual activity with anyone else but him, of course besides kissing. We have not had sex yet and we are both planning to do that later on in life. There was a point when I wanted to test for all those things but then my family doctor said that there was no need unless I was planning to have sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. So I am a little confused what to do if I should test or not. If my bf is clean would that mean I am fine not to test?
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Robin Lee
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Well, first of all, let's look at some language usage. Saying that someone who doesn't have any STIs is clean, implies that people who do have one or more STIs is dirty, bad, nasty, etc. Considering that we don't talk about people who have any other kinds of illnesses that way, it's not at all fair or humane to talk about people with STIs that way. There are a lot of folks out there who have STIs who are otherwise healthy, happy, etc.

So, instead, someone who doesn't have any STIs is just that, someone who doesn't have any STIs or someone who tested negative for STIs. Make sense?

I'm a little surprised your doctor would tell you that testing isn't necessary unless you wanted to have sexual intercourse, as STIs can be transmitted through other sexual activities.

In general, though, if your boyfriend tested negative, your risks are pretty low. Take a look at this article for things to consider for people who haven't engaged in sexual activities with a previous partner:
Without sexual contact, could I have an STI?

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say it that way, I should have rethought that before I typed it. Yes I understand now, I apologize again and I will be careful the next time. I will take a look at the link, thank you very much for your help.
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Robin Lee
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It's okay; you know now. [Smile] Most of us have used that language at one time or other, as unfortunately it's the language we most often hear used. [Smile]

Let us know if you have any questions based on what you read in that article.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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