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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Anyway to Ease this Unecessary Fear?

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Author Topic: Anyway to Ease this Unecessary Fear?
1079Jay
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Hi, as I already informed you, my girlfriend and I engaged in anal sex a little over a week ago now. It was on the first day of her period and she is on the pill, never misses one, and has been on it for well over a year. Even though I know the possibility of pregnancy in this scenario is microscopic, I still have anxiety, and can't wait for her next period to come so I can stop worrying. My girlfriend, on the other hand hasn't seemed to give it a single thought. She is comfortable knowing that she is not pregnant.

My question to you is, how can I ease this anxiety? I don't know why I'm still worried, maybe you could help eliminate my nerves? Thank you!

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Robin Lee
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What do you usually do when you're worried about something? That might be a good place to start, by doing some of the things that have helped you with worried feelings in the past.

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Robin

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1079Jay
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Normally I distract myself by doing anything I enjoy. Sports, video games, guitar. But it's odd for me to be so worried about something so unlikely because I'm normally a really laid-back person. I guess things get more complicated the older you get lol.
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Robin Lee
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Nodding...they can. It's also understandable to worry about something happening that could potentially have a big impact on you.

Can you spend some more time with the things you enjoy to help you get past this stress?

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Robin

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1079Jay
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Sure, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. One more thing, (I know this is difficult to answer so I apologize haha) is there even the slightest reason for me to be nervous, or if you were me, would you be nervous?

I can't thank you enough Robin, it's tough to find good advice!

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Robin Lee
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I really can't say whether I'd be nervous in your shoes, because I'm not you and I don't know what you know or feel what you feel.

Do you feel like you can trust your girlfriend's sense that everything is okay?

Are you planning to engage in this type of sex again? If so, do you want to talk about ways to reduce risks even further so you're hopefully not in a position of feeling so anxious again?

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Robin

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1079Jay
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As far as trusting my girlfriend, I know she never misses a pill so statistics show she would very likely be correct in her assumption if we were having vaginal sex. (I think with perfect use it's like 99.7% effective over a year or something.) However, we only had anal sex so I assume that risk would be trimmed even lower, if not nonexistent. So unless I'm wrong (and please tell me if I am haha) I guess I pretty much answered my own questions. She would have like a 99.9% chance of safety or something like that.

And if we do try anal again, it won't be soon. We'll probably just try vaginal sex with a condom and the pill next.

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1079Jay
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I don't mean to bump here but could you tell me if I'm pretty close to correct in my assumption? Thank you. [Smile]
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Robin Lee
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You did answer your own questions. [Smile]

The pill is one of, if not the most, well-research forms of birth control we have and does offer a high level of protection.

--------------------
Robin

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1079Jay
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Okay thanks Robin. I'm gonna shut up now haha. Have a good day!!! [Big Grin]
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