Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Precum Confusion.

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Precum Confusion.
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am a little confused about Precum and need some facts about it, first of How long does sperm in precum survive and how long does it take for it to dry normally? Im a little confused because the sperm isnt in semen does that mean it wont last that long in the open air? Also can precum that is transferred to an object still be viable after a period of time?
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Mystery,

I think we've already answered these questions in your previous thread and in the articles we linked. Perhaps you can look back at those and tell us if there are particular bits of our answers or the articles that you don't understand?

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I guess I'm just confused about how viable precum would be after an hour, it says in the article, Who's afraid of sperm cells that if sperm is left out over an hour, the chances are you are someone else are not pregnant, but I don't understand if sperm are just as capable of surviving in precum as they do in semen and would precum dry up faster as it's in a different liquid and would say the object its on pro long it's life?
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Pregnancy is just not going to happen via an object. That's indirect transfer, and pregnancy isn't going to happen that way.

Can you have a look back at your previous thread? I explained there how sperm need to be able to travel in order to co-create a pregnancy. It's the same issue whether they're in ejaculate or pre-ejaculate.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi There,

it sounds like you might be having some confusion around what sperm need to do their job.

Sperm don't just act all by themselves. They're not like, say, bacteria that can survive in all sorts of environments and transfer themselves through air or through being touched.

Sperm are much more complex.

have you yet read this article that goes into the nuts and bolts of how reproduction works?

Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So would it matter of the quantity say on the object if it was alot of precum or sperm would that still not not be able to create a pregnancy, is it the fact that if it's indirect transfer its just not capable of doing anything, sorry I am just trying to understand I am badly educated about all this stuff.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's correct. It's not capable of doing anything, no matter how much.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So even if the object was inserted into a vagina it still would not be able to make someone pregnant? Sorry I know this goes on my other question its just I want to know more Info.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I presume when we're talking about an object here that we're not talking about a penis?

I'm also wondering if we're talking about something theoretical or a specific risk you're concerned about.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No its not a penis just an object like a sex toy its like what I said in my original post just I'm worried and I just wanted some more details on how long precum would survive on an object and would it be able to get someone pregnant and how long would it take to dry compared to semen?
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think we've been very clear about the possibility of this. There is no extra piece of information that would make our previous answers suddenly not true any more. I understand that you feel you're asking for more information, but asking us "what if...?" with something that we've already given a definite answer to isn't going to change our answer in any way.

It's clear that you're finding it very, very difficult to let go of these thoughts and worries. We're deeply sympathetic to that, and we know that keep answering every further "what if" doesn't help you to let go of these worries or to start managing them better. When the mind has such worry about something, it can always come up with more possible "what ifs" to ask. Us keeping answering all "what ifs" will keep you stuck, rather than helping you in any way, and we want to help.

We're very happy to discuss with you Why you're finding it so difficult to let go of these worries, and to support you in genuinely making progress away from your worries. Would you like help with those things?

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm worried because I was stupid to use someone else's sex toy (I cleaned it the same each time) and that I used it on more than one occasion and I don't know when this person ovulates and I'm so frightened that I have got this person pregnant. I do honestly regret it its just eating away at me, the situation has been harder to deal with as this person is actually pregnant also, they are in a relationship so that could explain it but I just don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know if their is a possibility of someone getting pregnant from a sex toy with any possible fluids left on it. It's just I feel I'm trapped in my own mind And I can't do anything about it. I'm a horrible person I know, I'm just struggling to Cope.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I would like help in trying to get past this and try and put it behind me if that's at all possible.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Mystery_90,

We've already told you that this isn't a way someone can get pregnant and given you the articles to back that up. [Smile]


So, it sounds to me like this anxiety might be sprouting from something else. I'm wondering, for example, if you feel guilty about using someone else's toy without telling them or if you're having some other negative or upsetting feelings and thoughts around this.

Taking pregnancy off the table for a second (and it really can come off the table permanently) how do you feel about having used someone else's toy?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I feel guilty and stupid really for doing it as it was a selfish thing to do [Frown] I know that, but I am scared if I left anything on it. Just another question about the situation, what would have to happen in order for this to cause a pregnancy? As you said from what I described its not possible for someone to get pregnant this way.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Last time: This is not a way pregnancy is going to happen.

We need you to hear our limits with this: we need to be done talking about something that is not going to happen in reality, and you need to please stop asking us to have the same conversation with you we have already had.

I suggested telling your friend -- especially per infection risks, which ARE real -- about this a few times with no response about that from you. I also think telling them would probably help you let go of the guilt or shame here that's clearly driving this car. Did you do that yet?

[ 07-26-2013, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm sorry heather I guess it's just so many what ifs flying round in my mind, like I'm not certain when this person might of used the toy and I just worry like what if I did leave something on it as the toy had grooves and nooks and crannies on it and stuff maybe I didnt wipe everything off, as far as STDs I'm not actually sexually involved with anyone else so I assume I don't have any.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, once again, the way to clear some of this up and answer these questions for yourself (including when they used the toy) is to talk to your friend.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi their again, I promise this isnt a question related to my other posts, I just want to ask an important question to help me move forward in life. After all the information I have been given their is a little part of me that knows that what im worrying isnt possible but I have allowed my worry to take control of my life and its affecting my every day life. I want to take control of it and be the person I used to be again. Im at an extremely important part of my life right now, having completed university, moving home and looking for a job and I know the way im going right now i would not be capable of holding down a job when the idea of waking up terrifies me. I need to be the person I used to be and my friends need me to be the person I used to be and it needs to change quickly or else im going to destroy my life. I just want to wake up in the morning and feel happy again and worry about real problems and sort my life out, I dont want to feel like as soon as i get out of bed I just spend all day anticipating going to sleep again just so I dont have to think anymore, I know this might sound overly dramatic but I do need some help with dealing with this anxiety and was hoping you could maybe point me in the right direction, maybe some reading material that could help with dealing with anxiety because this has got to stop as im just going to push my friends away who are trying to help me get past this. Thank you.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Mystery_90,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much.

When someone is as consumed with worry and anxiety as you are right now, one of the soundest options for moving forward is to consult a healthcare provider for help. Do you have a doctor or other healthcare provider you could make an appointment with?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yh I could go to my GP or talkwize, my friend suggested counciling but I wasnt so sure about it as I have always wondered how it works. Its really hard to think of the best options.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, your GP would be a place to start.

Counselling can also help a lot with anxiety and learning to deal with fears.

When you say you're not sure how counseling works, are you wondering what happens at counseling?

Basically, you tell the counselor what's going on, and together you figure out ways for you to deal with that. There are a lot of different ways a counselor can work with a client.

Your uncertainty about counseling is something you could talk to your GP about.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sorry wasnt clear, I get the general jist of counselling that they listen to your problems as I did go to counselling when I was younger but I never really saw the benefit, probablly because I was a child. It does seem like counselling is the only route to go down at the moment, Its just really frightening opening up to strangers at first.
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mystery_90
Neophyte
Member # 107943

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mystery_90     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Its just so crazy how something so stupid I did has blown into the way it is now, I wish i had just come to this website first instead of searching the entire web as I really do believe that if I did come here first I would have been able to deal with this situation alot better than how i have done, I only have myself to blame for all of this. Thank you for all your help, I really do appreciate it, [Smile] .
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You're welcome. Good luck.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen