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Author Topic: Paranoid Freak Here
justagirl1219
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Hey, sorry, I know I post a lot. But I'm a paranoid freak/worried wart whatever you wanna call it. So I got my last period on Nov 30 (as predicted). It was my first period since getting off of the pill. (Reminder: I was not on the pill for being sexually active). Now, it's the 10th, and a few days after my period stopped (it lasted about five days, so it ended around the 5th or 6th) I've been having abdominal cramps. Even today. I don't know, but it seems a little early to be having cramps. Also, I think my stomach region been's looking a little pudgier than usual. I was talking to my friend about it and she told me it was a pregnancy symptom. My period on the 30th wasn't heavy, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't light enough to be spotting. I haven't had vaginal, oral or anal sex, and there hasn't been any been any contact sperm to vagina that I know of. I read the post all about pregnancy and it said manual sex doesn't get you pregnant. So please, someone tell me I'm just freaking out for no reason and that I'm fine. Also explain my cramping... please. AHH HELP PLEASE ):
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smittenkitten
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Hi justagirl [Smile]

Sounds like you need to calm down. It can be easy to get carried away when we think we recognize symptoms.

Firstly, I just wanted to make sure you've read through this post in its entirety: Limits on Pregnancy Risk Questions. It has some great info on assessing risk (which it sounds like you've done, awesome), and dealing with pregnancy scares.

As you've said, manual sex doesn't pose a pregnancy risk. If you're still freaking out the above post has some resources which might help.

As for the stomach cramps, they can be caused by any number of things such as food poisoning, stomach bugs, etc. If they're causing you a lot of discomfort or are persistent you should see your doctor.

Feel free to get back to me if you have any more questions.

Cheers,

Marion

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justagirl1219
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It calmed me for a while, but now I'm back. I really need to control my anxiety.

Since the last time I posted I still haven't had anal, oral or vaginal sex; making me STILL A VIRGIN. I have been fingered recently, but I'm pretty sure there wasn't sperm on his hands. It's not like he ejaculated on them first and then you know.

I have been feeling bloated, overly emotional,I had cramps just after my last period ended, and I've been more tired and hungry than normal. I always jump to the conclusion that I'm pregnant because it's what's been drilled into my mind.

Lately I haven't had cramps like I should have been around ovulation time, and I haven't experienced the gooey almost stretchy clearish cervical mucus either. My next period is due in five days on December 27th. Reminder I also stopped taking birth control

Can someone please help a poor girl out? I read the post "Limits on Pregnancy Risk Questions" multiple times but I still need some reassurance. And why haven't I been experiencing the ovulation pains and discharge? That was normally a sure sign that my period was coming soon. I'm seriously a worry wart. What's wrong with my body?

I almost want to go back on the pill to ease my nerves hopefully after my next period comes in five days. I wasn't on it for being sexually active, but for hormones. The reason I got off of it was because I had no desire for physical affection in anyway especially in the simplest of ways like hugging (even family), holding hands, cuddling, kissing.. ect.

-Justagirl1219

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Robin Lee
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HI justagirl1219,

It's pretty clear that you know you can't be pregnant. Where do you think these fears are coming from?

It's pretty typical for someone's menstrual cycle to change over time, particularly if one is in the first few years of menstruating. So, the fact that you're not getting cramps in the middle of your cycle right now is likely more a change in your body, or a reaction to diet or life stressors, than anything else.

If you're feeling physically unwell, I think it's soundest to think about why that is, rather than to assume it's pregnancy. Has there been anything different about your life lately that might make you not feel well?

I think you might find these two pieces helpful.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_do_you_avoid_getting_pregnant_after_giving_a_handjob_or_oral_sex

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/chicken_soup_for_the_pregnancy_symptom_freakouts_soul

[ 12-22-2012, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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I've always been an irrational worry wart. I used to worry about this stuff even before I got into the world of kissing and boyfriends. I obsess and have anxiety over things all the time. So I don't really know. I'm going to therapy to ease my nerves though.

As for my alleged symptoms, I don't think I'm sick either or unwell.

And okay, so will be okay to say I'm not pregnant even if my period doesn't arrive on the dot on the 27th? Also, do you think its a sound idea to start my pill up again after my period comes?

I'm on my way to reading those articles right now.

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justagirl1219
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Also, I've had my period since April of 2009.
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Robin Lee
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Yup, so menstruating is still a pretty recent thing for you. Mind, someone of any age could experience changes in her menstrual cycle. And no, you don't need to start worrying if your period doesn't come right on the 27th. Periods don't keep a clock the way we do, and a variation of a few days either way isn't unusual. A period that comes a few days later than usual isn't considered "late" by health professionals unless there's other information to indicate that there might be pregnancy or a health problem.

Whether you go back on the pill is entirely up to you. Have you shared this area of your anxiety with your therapist? If not, it would be good for you to bring it up, and also explore whether taking the pill is worth it for you. It sounds like your response to it the last time you took it wasn't pleasant for you. How long were you on the pill before? When did you stop?

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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Yes, my therapist and I do talk about this area of anxiety. She says I have nothing to worry about if I'm not taking part in anal, oral, or vaginal sex or if there hasn't been any sperm to vagina contact. Yet still my mind worries.

I was on the pill for 13 months before I stopped. The side effects such has having little interest in physical affection started 5-6 months after being on the pill. I stopped at the very end of October, so a a day or so before Halloween.

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Robin Lee
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So, recently stopping hormonal birth control is a likely culprit for why things feel different with your menstrual cycle. It can take a few months (yes, sometimes more than two) for the body to establish it's own hormonal rhytyhm. So, what you experienced while on the pill isn't what you're experiencing now, and what you're experiencing now may not be what you experience once your body settles into its own patterns.

Your therapist is absolutely correct in her logical assessment of your risks. I suggest letting her know, as you've let us know, that though you know these facts are true you're feeling unable to move on from this fear. It sounds like it is something you and she may need to work on more together.

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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But it was almost completely on task the first month. It came on the dot for November?
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Robin Lee
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Bodies are not predictable. [Smile] I wish I could give you a more precise answer than that, but really all I can tell you is that we know that for many people who stop taking the pill, it takes their body a while to regulate itself, and that in general the first few years of menstruation aren't necessarily always predictable. Some women's cycles never become regular. I personally have been menstruating for twenty years and while sometimes my period comes when I expect it, more often than not, it doesn't.

So, what do you think of letting your therapist know that you're still having fear and uncertainty around this?

I know you say you're just generally a worry-wart, but I'm wondering where you think these worries are coming from, specifically?

I'm also wondering what you think you need in order to feel more at peace with this? Is there something you feel would help, or something that in your life, if it didn't happen anymore, would also help?

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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Thanks for talking me through this far. I appreciate it. It did help to ease my nerves as bit.
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Robin Lee
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You're welcome. I think reading through those articles I linked you to may also be helpful for you.

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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I'm probably going to mention it with my therapist the next time I meet with her. And I think the worries derived when a close family friend's teenage daughter turned into a teenage mother. I just don't want that to ever happen to me, I actually want to fulfill my life instead of wasting it young.
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Robin Lee
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Well, I don't think it's fair to say that someone becoming a mother when they're a teen means that they're wasting their life. Yes, it probably means that whatever plans she had for herself have changed drastically, but it doesn't mean that she'll never be who she wants to be or do what she wants to do. Many unexpected things can happen to someone that alter the course of their life; whether it's becoming ill, having an unplanned child (at any age), discovering one doesn't actually want to be what they always thought they wanted to be, and there's no shame in any of these changes or any others that might occur.

That said, it might help to remember that becoming a teen mother doesn't happen all by itself; so, if one doesn't do the things one would have to do to possibly become a mother at any age, one cannot magically become a mother. It sounds like you may have received a lot of shameful, frightening messages about becoming a mother at an early age, and I'm wondering if those have obscured the very real fact that motherhood happens a certain way.

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Robin

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justagirl1219
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True, it wasn't fair to say so. It wasn't my best choice of words.

And yeah from a young age I've had instilled that being a teen mother was not a good thing. And I haven't done anything that might have possibly let to me to becoming a mother. I've read all the posts on what can and can't get you pregnant, and I've had sex ed class last year in high school. Not unless someone a little sperm fairy whisked a baby in me or I sat on the wrong toilet (but I already know you can't get pregnant from sitting on a toilet), there's no way I can be pregnant right? Like previously stated, there hasn't been any point where sperm could have gotten close to my vaginal canal.

Anyways, I want to bring this up with my mom, (because I know automatically that if my period doesn't come in 4 days I'm going to flip out still... irrationally. But she's going to automatically conclude that I'm freaking out because I had sex (my boyfriend and I have been dating for 14 months. And I haven't had sex(vaginal,anal, or oral), and she knows like that we've mildly fooled around but too nothing serious cause I've told her personally. I have a very close relationship with my mom, but still how do I explain the situation to her?

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smittenkitten
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I think the best way you could probably frame it would be to calmly explain that you aren't having sex, but that you want to be prepared for the future, when it does happen.

I think the fact you have a close relationship with her means that you should be able to bring her around to the fact that going on birth control is good for your safety and wellbeing. You can always reassure her that you aren't planning to rush into having penetrative sex anytime soon.

It may be difficult for her to see you growing up, but at the same time I'm sure she'd be proud to see that you're taking such mature and positive steps to take control of your sexual future.

Let us know how it goes [Smile]

Marion

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justagirl1219
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I was recently on birth control 2 months ago (for about 13 months) to control my hormone levels, and not because I was being sexually active. I stopped birth control because I wasn't have any desire to be affectionate, even with simple things such as hugging family.

The first month off my birth control (I ended around Halloween-- got a pill stopping induced period on Nov 3 which lasted until the 8), my cycle went on as it should. I had a week of cramps and gooey cervical muscus discharge. About a week and a half later my period came as it was due, Nov 30.

This month, I haven't had the ovulation cramping or the discharge that accompanies it, and my period is due in 3 days. I haven't had sex, and as far as I know sperm wasn't anywhere near my vulva. I've grinded with my boyfriend while making out with clothes on, and had manual sex. None of which included any sperm. If there was, it definitely wasn't near my area. I've never had oral, anal, or vaginal sex.

I've read all the articles on this that you guys provide and my mind still can't rest easy.

Yet still... lately I've had a bunch of pregnancy symptoms; mood swings, cramps (right after my last period ended, Dec 6/7 so not recent), breast tenderness a week ago, bloating, hunger, fatigue, upset stomach (the runs to be more specific on Dec 14, and today.)

Does any of this pose any threat?

But my real over all question is; why am I experiencing all these symptoms? And how come my cycle was fine the first month off birth control and not this month? I'm really confused, and lost, and kinda irrationally scared.

I'm so sorry I post so much about the same thing, my mind just can't rest easy.

-Justagirl.

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justagirl1219
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Should I be worried?

When my next period does arrive again I think I'm starting up my BC, just so my mind rests a little easier, and I'd know exactly when my period was due.

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Heather
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We can't say why you're experiencing all of those things. Could be a flu, could be issues with changes due to puberty, could be any number of things. Only a physician who could see you in person and do an exam could fill you in on that.

You haven't described any kind of sex that poses pregnancy risks, so we can easily rule pregnancy out.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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justagirl1219
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Well guys sorry for being so paranoid, let's just say I woke up sick this morning; sore throat, lack of voice, cough.

Still no sign of my period, but likewise I took my facts to heart and ruled out the pregnancy option. Might just be a little irregular.

Thanks Heather, Robin and SmittenKitten! [Smile]

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Heather
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So, yep, sounds like you've got some kind of virus wreaking havoc on your whole body.

So, be sure to take care of yourself. You know the drill: rest, quiet, plenty of fluids, manage the stresses, eat healthfully. Take a hot batch if you can. Chill.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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