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jackkim
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So my girlfriend and I want to get full std test. We are both 20 years old and we have been going out for about a year. I have not had any sexual contact yet, but my girlfriend has given her previous 2 ex-boyfriends oral sex. She said that they never had any sores or cuts on their penis and that they some times ejaculate in her mouth. She spits it out after and rinses her mouth, and when I asked she said that she never had any cuts or sores when giving oral sex. With her 2nd ex, he had fingered her before and she told me that she doesn't remember him washing his hand before fingering her unprotected. The other thing is she doesn't remember if he ever touched his penis then finger her. This is because she can't remember as she went out without him for 3 years and broke up with him 3 years ago. She never got pregnant because if she did her father would have killed her.

With her previous ex, who she went out with for a year and broke up 2 years ago, she said that he would finger her some times. She didn't know if his hand was washed to a "clean" standard or not. In addition, he gave her oral sex against her will and she does know if he ever put his tongue in her vagina.

I love her very much and so does she. So I was wondering where can I get a full std test in Hawaii without involving our insurance since she doesn't want others to know? Where can we get the test with reliable results, since I have had some medical professional who were half-assing their work? Is the Rapid HIV test results as accurate as the conventional blood test? Is there anything is particular that she should test for based on her previous experiences? On average how much does a full std test cost? How long does it take to get the results? Can she get tested during her period?

Thanks in advance to anyone that can help. I know I am asking a lot, but this is very important to us because we don't want anything to affect our future. Especially our plans to have children.

[ 11-06-2012, 04:31 AM: Message edited by: jackkim ]

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Robin Lee
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HI jackkim and welcome to Scarleteen,

It is important for the two of you to get STI testing since your girlfriend has had previous sexual experiences. While sores or cuts can increase the chances of transmission, the absence of them doesn't mean that her partner didn't have any STIs (sexually transmitted infections).

If the two of you are engaging in sexual activities currently, you'll want to use barriers for any genital-to-genital or mouth-to-genital contact until you get that testing.

Testing for both of you will involve blood and urine tests, so from what I know, your girlfriend will want to make sure she's not on her period when she goes to give a urine sample.
Here is some information about STIs and STI testing.


Testing, Testing...

STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes

In terms of where to get tested, here are a couple of resources. You'll need to ask about cost when you call, as every place is different. However, the resources I'm giving you should have free or low-cost testing.

http://hawaii.gov/health/healthy-lifestyles/std-aids/where-testing/oahu/index.html

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/centerDetails.asp?f=2951&a=90355&v=details#!service=std-testing-treatment

If these resources don't offer what you need, don't be shy about asking them who does.

Please feel free to ask if you need clarification on what I've said here, or if you have more questions in general.

--------------------
Robin

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jackkim
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Thanks for the information, but I called the Planned Parenthood and the said that they only test for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia. This was completely different from what it said in the link provided. Do I have to go in person to find out becuase I emailed them the questions and they gave me the extentsion to call for those questions. They answer was they only test for those 3.
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Robin Lee
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HI jackkim,

Were you able to give your Department of Health a call? They're likely going to have a better sense of your resources for getting a full screening done than we will, just by virtue of the fact that they oversee a lot of that sort of thing.

--------------------
Robin

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jackkim
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When you said Department of Health, did you mean the clinic that is run or funded by the Department of Health?
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Heather
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jackkim: yes. Public health departments in any city or state typically have healthcare centers, and usually STI testing via public health is the most affordable.

Mind, it may be they only test for those three as well, and really, those are the three to really test FOR. So, if you want to use Planned Parenthood, that combo of three tests really is just fine for most people.

In case the why of that isn't clear, bear in mind that a sexual health exam includes a visual exam -- that'll mean that something like HPV warts or Herpes sores can be identified: two STIs that *can* be tested for , though HPV isn't something we can test for in males, but where there are some issues in doing that. Molloscum can be ID'd visually, too. Bacterial or yeast infections will also be looked for, or be apparent via swabs taken for the CT/GC (chlamydia and gonorrhea) tests. And Hepatitis screenings tend to be in the purview of general health exams, so if you've had basic checkups, this likely was already covered.

[ 11-08-2012, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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jackkim
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Hello Heather,

I was wondering which STD should my girlfriend be tested for based on her previous sexual experience? How would she get tested for herpes because I called Planned Parenthood and the Department of Health's clinic. But none of them said that they test for herpes.

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Heather
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Generally, most places won't test for Herpes when someone doesn't have health issues that would make Herpes very risky for them, and/or when someone hasn't already presented any symptoms for Herpes.

Really, a healthcare provider is the best person to help a patient figure out what to be tested for, but if you want a second opinion -- one I'd say you should put second after that of a doctor -- I'm happy to give you one.

can you fill me in on your sexual history and that of your girlfriend, in terms of what sexual activities -- with each other or others -- you both have engaged in, how many partners you've each had and for how many years one or both of you have been engaging in any kind of genital sex?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jackkim
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I would appreciate the advice you give.

As for my sexual history, I have not had any sexual experiences before. She is my first girlfriend and I have been with her for about a year. I have never had/given oral sex, never fingered a girl, never want to have or done anal sex, and I have not had any gential to gential contact before. This includes clothed, unclothed or with condoms. I have never had any vaginal sex or had my penis stroked before.

As for my girlfriend's sexual history. She has had 2 boyfriend before me that she has had sexual experiences with. She went out with her first boyfriend for 3 years and broke up 3 years ago. About 1 year into the relationship, he made her give him oral sex. She mentioned that he never wore a condom and some times would ejaculate in her mouth, but she would use mouth wash or rinse her mouth with water after. He had fingered her without her consent, and she doesn't remember if he ever washed his hand before doing that. She also doesn't know if he washed his hand to a "clean" standard.

For her second boyfriend, they went out for a year and broke up 2 years ago. The sexual experiences she had with him started about 2 weeks into their relationship, he forced his penis into her mouth and force her to give him oral sex. The oral sex she gave him was the same with the first boyfriend, where he didn't wear a condom and he would some time ejaculate in her mouth. Just like before she would rinse her mouth. He also fingered her, but she doesn't know if he washed his hand really well or not. The last thing was that he had given her oral sex against her will. She doesn't know or remember if he had sore or anything when doing that and she doesn't remember if he ever stuck his tongue in her vagina.

When the 2 ex boyfriends don't ejaculate in her mouth, they do it in a tissue. I also confirmed with her that she never had any vaginal sex, since she didn't believe that they were the one for her when they asked for it. She has also given both of them handjobs if that is the correct term

This is my history and the history of my girlfriend after getting her to tell me about her past, which she says she hates because she realized that they were only using her for their sexual needs as they were checking out and flirting with other girls. We have never had any sexual experiences with each other, other than kissing. But now, she thinks I may be the one for her and so do I and we want to give each other oral and have vaginal sex.

[ 11-11-2012, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: jackkim ]

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Heather
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Just FYI, I hope your girlfriend is aware that these past experiences were sexual abuses/assaults. In other words, this is more than about being "used." Forced or coerced sexual contact from someone is sexual abuse/assault. Happy to connect her with some resources to give her help processing and healing from that if she likes.

From the sounds of things, it sounds like you don't need a screening at all yet, and all she'd need is a throat/mouth swab and exam for STIs that can be transmitted orally (namely, that'd be a check for any Herpes sores and a swab for chlamydia and gonorrhea of the throat, as well as an HIV test if she wants that). In other words, it looks to me like the only real possible STI risks here were from the fellatio.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jackkim
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Thanks a lot for the help. I believe my girlfriend is over her past because she told me that she knows that she was being used. But I would gladly accept the help you have for her, since she could be in denial or believes she is over it.

As for the testing, what kind of things should she check for due to getting fingered by both ex (who may or may not have wash their hands cleanly)? What should she get tested for due to getting licked by her previous ex (who may or may not have stuck his tongue in her vagina)?

I realized that I forgot to mention in my previous post that my girlfriend had spit out their ejaculation from her mouth and was told by her exs, that they had never had sex or done anything sexual before. But, they could be lying since they lied to her a lot to get her to do what they wanted.

[ 11-13-2012, 01:49 AM: Message edited by: jackkim ]

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Robin Lee
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HI jackkim,

While vaginal fingering can pose some small risks of STI transmission, primarily the concern with being fingered with dirty hands would be an infection or general irritation, something your girlfriend would have experienced at the time. So it's unlikely this is something to worry about now.

The tests Heather mentioned above should cover any possible transmission through the oral-vaginal contact.

--------------------
Robin

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Heather
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Spitting out ejaculate doesn't lower disease transmission. What poses the risk of transmission is oral contact with a penis, especially unprotected.

Like Robin explained, manual sex is very low-risk when it comes to STI transmission. Unless your girlfriend had had or was having genital symptoms of some kind -- like sores, irritation, etc. -- in my experience, a doctor or clinician wouldn't see any real need for STI screenings for that activity alone.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jackkim
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I understand and I want thank everyone for the help that I was given. I will check with my girlfriend if she had any irritation or sores in or around her genital during or after getting fingered.

Heather, I was wondering if I could get the resources to help her with her past. I think this will really help her as I feel like she isn't over her abuse from the past.

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smittenkitten
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Hi jackkim,

You could try pointing your girlfriend to the following articles:

Blinders Off:Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

From Victim To Survivor

Advice from an Abuse Survivor

Dealing With Rape

Three Steps Forward, One Step Back: Hollie's Story

I wish both of you luck and don't forget your girlfriend can always come here if she wants to talk more about what she has been through.

Cheers,

Marion

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jackkim
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Thanks for articles smittenkitten. I will definitely tell my girlfriend to check these articles out.
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jackkim
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My girlfriend and I got tested and got our results back as negative from the Department of Health clinic. I believe she told the staff of her previous sexual experiences (fellatio, being fingered, vagina being licked). I told them that I never had any.

Now I was wondering when should we take another exam to rule out the possiblities of false negatives or false positives? Should we get the exams from the same place? How many more exams should we take before we can consider the results are accurate? Thus, not needing anymore testing as we have been in a monogamism relationship and intend to stay that way very seriously.

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Robin Lee
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Hi jackkim,

Since it has been a long time since your girlfriend had sexual contact with someone else, the results of this round of testing should be accurate. If the two of you did want to get tested again, doing so in a few months should be sufficient. Here's an article about safer sex that will give you more information with which to make a decision:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/safe_sound_sexy_a_safer_sex_how_to

--------------------
Robin

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jackkim
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Thanks for that article. Would you recommend taking another test in March be enough time between? Would taking the second test eliminate any chance of false negatives or false positives?
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Robin Lee
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It's really up to you what you do. It's recommended for monogamous couples to have to STI screenings that come back negative before deciding not to use barriers with sex. Of course, you may still decide to use condoms if you're using them as birth control.

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Robin

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jackkim
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Thanks for the advice Robin.

However, I just found out from my girlfriend that when we went to the Department of Health STD Clinic to get tested for HIV and STD, my girlfriend ran into problems with her examination. The first thing was that when she was getting the Rapid HIV test, they took out a finger pricking needle stamp thing. When they used it on her right hand middle finger, she said that they squeezed and there was no blood. She said there was no prick, no hole, or blood. They took out another one and this time there was a prick and blood.

The other thing was that they couldn't draw blood for her syphillis test. She said that they did the usual things like santize the area, then tied a rubber thing on her arm and found the vein. The doctor/person said she had good veins, but when they tried to draw they blood, they said they couldn't get any. They tried again with a new needle and still couldn't get it so they told her to come back next for her syphillis test.

This is kind of weird becuase when I was doing it I went through the same steps, but after they tied my arm. The lady told me to do 3 dumb bell curls then squeeze me fist tightly. After she stuck the needle in, she told me to relax my fist and she drawn my blood without any problems. She also said I had good veins because they are close to the top of my skin.

The problem is can I trust my girlfriend's results if they made that much mistake with her examination? I have never heard of a medical professional not being able to draw blood when they found the vein. Not only that she told me that the person who pricked her finger left after that and told her someone else with come draw her blood. This didn't happen to me as I had one person do everything. How can I be sure that they didn't mess up my girlfriend's gonoherra and chlymida result from her urine sample? If it was the same person that tried to draw blood is testing her urine, how can I be sure they didn't mess up like the blood draw? All of these mistakes can't be a coincidence.

Again can I trust her results? Can I trust that they didn't make a mistake? I am hoping they took the urine to a specialized lab for testing rather than using their staff if this much mistake happened for my girfriend. Since my testing went without any of those problems.

[ 12-19-2012, 05:31 AM: Message edited by: jackkim ]

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Heather
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If they hadn't been able to actually draw any blood to run tests they needed blood for, she wouldn't have results of those specific tests.

It sounds like they couldn't get what they needed for the syphilis test, so they didn't run that one, but that they ran her others.

I don't see any reason here to think what results they will have are questionable because they had an issue getting blood from her that doesn't sound like it stemmed from incompetence on their part. Sometimes clinical staff can't get a blood draw from a patient: it happens.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jackkim
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Very interesting, I never knew that. Thank you Heather, I also thought that when they say they found the vein, they would be able to draw blood. Thank you for the new information.
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