Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Help! Bleeding after fourth time sex, did not bleed first time... very confused :(

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Help! Bleeding after fourth time sex, did not bleed first time... very confused :(
Tacy
Neophyte
Member # 48323

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tacy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi! A good friend of mine and I have started having sex. My first time, it hurt extremely bad, but I did not bleed much. I didn't bleed to second or third time either. When we did it tonight though, the fourth time, I saw blood on the blanket, and on my fingers! I thought it was a nosebleed, but I checked, and I was bleeding down there!

I am 100% positive that it is NOT period blood. I am on the pill (have been on the same one for the past three years) and I have been taking it regularly. I only spot on this pill if I miss dose, and I haven't. Also, not to be gross, but I checked what the blood was like, and it's not like my period blood.

Another alarming thing... ugggghhhh, this is stressing me out, there was like lowered sensation and when we finished he asked if it was different for me. I said, yeah, and asked him if it was different for him. He said it was. I was aware of the lowered sensation, and asked him if it was like worse than the last three times, and he said no, because now "it's not so tight that I can barely move." I mean, I think he still enjoyed it, because he had to keep stopping to keep from coming too soon and all and he sounded like he was enjoying it.

But I wonder why I suddenly started experiencing less sensation! Was it because I started bleeding?? I was plenty turned on the last three times, so I don't think that it was that I was finally aroused or something. Why would this suddenly happen after the third time?

He is my only sexual partner, and I am his only sexual partner. We were both virgins, so there is a hugely unlikely chance of STDs.

I am very confused and stressed and I would really appreciate any feedback.

[ 12-20-2012, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: Tacy ]

Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Tacy,

First of all, take a deep breath and release as much of that stress as you can. [Smile]

IN terms of the lowered sensation, there are going to be days, and sometimes even longer times, when our bodies react differently than they did previously. This might be with less sensation, or with pain, or increased pleasurable sensations. So much goes into a sexual experience: how aroused we are (as you said), how much or little life stress we've experienced recently, what we've recently had to drink or eat, the unexplainable whims of our bodies, and so on. I say this to say that experiencing lowered sensation this time isn't a sign for anything to come.

In terms of the bleding, do the two of you use any extra lubricant? Bleeding like that can be from too much friction causing irritation and minor tears in the vaginal tissues. Plus, one of the things the birth control pill does is to thicken cervical mucus; this can lead to their being more friction and things being less smooth over all.

I also want to check in about whether you and your partner have discussed, and recently been tested for, sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The pill doesn't protect against those.

So, to prevent bleeding in the future the first place I would suggest starting is to use a lubricant during intercourse. What do you think?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tacy
Neophyte
Member # 48323

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tacy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, that's good to know.

That sex was more lubricated than ever. Like, it's never been that way before, and it lowered the sensation. That's why I was startled by the bleeding. When he entered me, it hurt like it always does initially, but then felt extremely good, and then didn't feel like much at all [Frown] [Frown]

The past two times (the first time we did it was too physically painful haha) have been less lubricated, and way better for me and maybe him.

So it was a weird conundrum!!!

I have recently been tested for STI's, and I am his only sexual partner (in his entire lifetime), so he has not. We have had this conversation.

[ 12-20-2012, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Tacy ]

Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When you went for your STI tests, and had your GYN exam, did your doctor say anything to you about a resilient hymen? Or, did she have any trouble inserting the speculum? Was there any bleeding then? Did you tell that doctor about the pain you have been having?

If you're having pain with entry, that suggests to me that it might be as simple as you two simply being too hasty about entry, and not taking your time getting there until you're more aroused (I hear you saying you were aroused, but it may be you need to be more aroused, or aroused for a longer period of time before entry). But I also want to check in with those other things I asked about to cover our bases here, too.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tacy
Neophyte
Member # 48323

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tacy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I had STI testing before I had PIV sex, (I am big on giving oral sex) but no a GYN exam, I guess I should, especially with bleeding :/

That is probably it. I hope that the next time we do it I don't have a lack sensation because that really bummed me out. Was it because the blood added too much lubrication???

Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ultimately, we can be highly lubricated and that often won't impact sensation. Maybe it did for you, maybe it didn't, but like Robin explained, no kind of sex is going to be aces all the time. Sometimes it'll feel amazing, with a lot of sensation, sometimes it won't.

But if you are continuing to have pain with entry -- bleeding or no -- despite really taking your time getting TO entry, using lubricant, etc. then by all means, I'd suggest starting with a sexual healthcare provider.

So, maybe try, if you want, the next couple times taking way more time to get to entry, using an adequate amount of lube -- start by just rubbing a few drops on your vulva or his penis, then only add more if wanted/needed -- and see how that goes. If, even with that, you are still having any pain, then I'd suggest checking in with your doc.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tacy
Neophyte
Member # 48323

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tacy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, I will do that. I did buy some nice lube but as soon as I bought it, the sex was better and I felt it was necessary. I will probs use it. Thank you so much for the advice!! This site is the bomb.
Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There's this cool middle ground between being as dry as the Sahara and as wet as the ocean. So, I'd suggest trying somewhere in the middle with lube next time. [Smile]

And you're welcome! Feel free to pipe back up if you've more questions, or if more develops around these issues.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Also? Maybe the best use for the lube is for you or your partner, before entry, and as part of the sex you're having (and when I say sex, I mean the whole enchilada, whatever that is, not just intercourse), to massage your vaginal opening and the area around it with it. Perhaps obviously, that can include your clitoris, but making sure that kind of sex includes some play/massage of the opening to your vagina might ease entry when you get to that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tacy
Neophyte
Member # 48323

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tacy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Good idea!! I used the lube for solo stuff and it was pretty sweet so I assume it would be equally awesome with him. Thank you again for the advice!!
Posts: 19 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen