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Author Topic: is there any risk in this case? im super scared :/
jesica010203
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I had outer course or dry humping however you wanna call it. Thing is all I had on was my underwear and he had nothing on, he didn't cum and I took a shower right away, because there was a small wet spot on the back of my underwear where his penis was, we were imitating anal sex. Anyway, We did it again later, but this time I had both my shorts and panties on, he did cum this time but not on me, a few minutes later he put his penis near my vagina, with a moist penis from sperm he had, I still had my shorts and underwear on though.

At first I thought there was no way it could happen but today is day 29 of my cycle and I haven't gotten my period, now to be honest I don't know how many days my cycle is, last 2 had been like this, 25, 30 and 3 months or so ago I got plan B, so is it normal that I haven't had my period? I haven't had my usual cramps yet too, I don't always have them though.

Help? Idk what to do, I'm scared :/

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Heather
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Greetings, jesica.

Did you start by taking a look at things on the site like this first: Pregnancy Scared?

If you did -- or once you do -- do you see anything in there that suggests you may have had a pregnancy risk?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jesica010203
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Greetings, jesica.

Did you start by taking a look at things on the site like this first: Pregnancy Scared?

If you did -- or once you do -- do you see anything in there that suggests you may have had a pregnancy risk?


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jesica010203
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I already checked all that but I am still worried because I haven't had my period yet? Any guesses about that?
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Karybu
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Periods can be late for all sorts of reasons, and it sounds like your cycle can vary a bit to start with, so it may not even be late yet. Plan B can also throw your cycle a bit out of whack, so that may still be having a bit of an effect as well.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Heather
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I hear you saying that the length of your cycles has varied, and that, so far, you're not outside of the length some have been yet.

So, at this point, I don't see any reason to assume your period is late.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jesica010203
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But based on what I said, should I be worried?
And how soon could I take a pregnancy test?
Omg, I am really nervous :/

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Karybu
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From that article Heather linked you to: "Were you only kissing, having oral sex, manual sex and/or dry sex, where everyone had clothes on and no one ejaculated on or very near anyone else's vulva? These kinds of sex do NOT present any pregnancy risks, though some can present risks of STIs."

From what you've described, you were wearing clothing, and your partner didn't ejaculate anywhere near your vulva. So based on that, and the article, does it sound to you like you've had a pregnancy risk?

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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jesica010203
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It really doesn't sound like there is any risk, but I am worried because my period hasn't come yet< that is the reason why. Also because his penis was kind of moist and he rubbed it near my vulva, although i had panties on. I read all over the internet this could cause pregnancy.
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Heather
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You read that at credible sites, like say, here, Planned Parenthood, Brook, medical sites, etc?

If not, then I'd just remind you that sites like, for example, yahoo Answers are overrun with misinformation. That's because nothing that gets posted there needs to be checked or verified by anyone.

There are a lot of "urban legends" when it comes to sex, sexuality and reproduction. The fact that they are prevalent doesn't make them true.

That all said, it sounds like you two *(are* getting awfully close to activity which CAN present risks. So, if you haven't yet had a talk about safer sex and contraception, and what you two are going to do about those things, how and when, it sounds to me like now would be a very good time to do that. And having that conversation might also help to comfort you now. Sometimes people feel like you are because some of their anxiety is about feeling like they're entering into a future of risk-taking they don't feel okay with, things they aren't so sure about, or a lack of a relationship where they and their partner each make sure the other is asking for and getting what they need to feel safe and okay.

[ 11-26-2012, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jesica010203
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we actually had that conversation last night. And we both agreed we would wait until we are or feel ready. and when we do we will use the pill along with proper use of a condom.
for the mean time I think I should wait for my period to arrive. And I got most of the info from some q&a sites, I don't even remember the names for those sites, but I really don't know what to believe if everyone giving me advice sounds so sure of themselves.

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Heather
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I understand: blindly getting advice from people you don't know can be very confusing in that way. Personally, I strongly advise staying away from Q&A sites for things like medical advice, or about things that are super-big deals, like avoiding pregnancy when you don't want to become pregnant. For getting advice on what color to paint a room, or how to dye your hair blue, sure. But about something as big as sex or reproduction? I say stick to published books by credible authors, credible websites -- here's a link that can help you figure out which those are: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/legit_or_unfit_finding_safe_sound_sex_educators_support_online -- and healthcare providers you can talk to in-person.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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jesica010203
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I will check it out. But could you answer just one more question? I just need to know based on my las cycles of 25 and 30, how long after today which would be day 30, would have to pass by before I consider having a missed period?
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Heather
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Generally, a period is considered late when it's around five days past the outside end of how long your cycles have been.

So, I'd say that for you, it sounds like that might be day 35.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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