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marissax
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my boyfriend of 6 months is going to become a marine sometime after june.. he told me two nights ago and we both cried. i can't imagine living life without him. he told me it's going to make our relationship stronger and he needs me to get through this. i believe we can make this work. we have so much trust and love in this relationship so, no i'm not going to leave him. it has been on my mind since he told me. how do i cope with this?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Can you maybe fill us in a bit more on the history of this relationship?

And what his enlisting practically means to you? In other words, I assume when you mean living life without him, you mean his going away for training, much the same way a lot of people's partner's in our userbase -- or they themselves -- separate to go to college. Or are you talking about fearing for his life, etc?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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marissax
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we have a strong bond in our relationship. he is my boyfriend and bestfriend. he's the only person i trust in my life because i don't really have many friends. i don't want to live life without him when he starts training and becomes a marine. i will feel all alone. i will be in my senior year of high school next year when he leaves and i don't want to mess up my grades because of worrying and stress so, i can graduate. i want to know how i can focus on the things that will make me successful later in life without him there. thanks:)
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Heather
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How long have the two of you been dating?

You know, even when a partner is in our daily life, healthy relationships really depend, especially long-term, on no person being our one-and-only. In other words, in order to have healthy relationships, everyone in them really needs to have a network of other people in their lives they care about and trust, and vice-versa.

So, if he's going away -- and marines, college or otherwise, unfortunately, this is something that commonly happens with at least one member of a couple around this age -- it seems to me that might be a strong incentive for starting to try and reach out some more starting now to really expand the caring relationships in your life, like your friendships. Like I said, that's important anyway, but obviously it's also going to be critical if and when he's no longer in your life in-person often.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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marissax
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6 months and i will try to get more friends in my life so, i can have a social life and more support. i will be strong and do whatever it takes for this relationship to keep going. he said he will write me and things like that so, at least i will talk to him sometimes. all i got to do is cherish the moments we have together now:)
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Heather
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So, six months is a relatively new relationship, though when you're younger, that isn't so short in the grand scheme of things, and can feel like it's been a lot longer.

My concern is if you're really feeling like with a relationship this relatively new, your life can't go on without this person, and they're your absolute everything. So, again, I'd vote for putting real time and effort in pursuing other kinds of relationships in your life where you have trust and support and care, too.

I'd also say that if we're stressing a lot about something more months or years in the future than the time we have been IN a relationship, it might help to just reality-check things a little bit. In other words, you're talking about a time further away than you two have been dating, so focusing a bit more on the now than the later is usually wise.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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marissax
Neophyte
Member # 96045

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thank you so much!
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Of course!

And you're more than welcome to check in about this as you go and ask for any more help or support you need. Hang in there. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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