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Author Topic: Cramping
Jaylee
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Me and my boyfriend messed around 3 days ago(oral and manual) and I've been stressed that I could be pregnant and I'm really worried. I don't understand why I'm feeling cramping. My period doesn't even come for another two weeks. I read something about cramping because he could've hit your cervix too hard. Is that true?
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September
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Welcome to Scarleteen, Jaylee.

This link should help you figure out whether you've had a pregnancy risk:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/27/t/027495.html

Even if you did have a risk, though, this cramping has nothing to do with that. At three days after a risk, you can't feel anything of a pregnancy yet.In fact, it takes longer than that for a pregnancy to even complete.

Do you usually experience cramping before your period? Do these cramps feel like those cramps?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Is this the same user I have been talking to in the text service about this?

(Just don't want to do reruns, or ask you questions I already know the answers to.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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Yes, they feel like those cramps. And no I never texted this service. I've read some and feel better about the pregnant thing but I don't get why I feel the cramping.
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Heather
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Okay.

When the oral and/or manual sex was happening, were you in any pain, or did it feel good?

You asked about bruising to the cervix: when the cervix gets bruised in a way that would cause pain over days, it is going to be something that also usually felt painful, often very painful, at the time.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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It kind of hurt because he went further than usual but it kinda felt good. In the moment it didnt cross my mind that it hurt. So it's possible it could be from the cervix thing?
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Heather
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Can you tell me where you're specifically feeling pain?

If you're feeling something like uterine cramps, like with a period, that probably isn't about your cervix.

Have you also tried masturbating to orgasm to see if that helps? I know that might sound odd, but sometimes having not reached orgasm from sexual activity can make people feel crampy, though that feeling will more typically last for minutes or hours rather than days. But orgasm can also often help with uterine cramps, period.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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The pain is right where I would feel period cramps. They feel just like it. It comes and goes. They're not major but it just feels crampy. I've never orgasmed before. This is my third time messing around and each time after I've felt like this and it goes away after a week or so? I don't know what it is but it's kinda scary. I'm also a virgin so i don't know if stress could possibly cause them or just the fact that it could be the cervix thing.
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Heather
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My best guess is that this is about sexual activity where you're getting very turned on, but not getting off, or maybe where you're doing things -- like deep manual sex -- without being turned on enough, or in ways that don't feel awesome to you.

I would just check in to make sure that if you have been engaging in these kinds of sex, if you haven't been doing so with latex barriers or washed hands, you have also been checked for infections, as that's always a possibility, too.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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Well I'm scared to ask a doctor about it baecause I would have to tell my mom and she would be so mad. What kind of infections could you get from what I did exactly?
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Heather
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You can see what kinds of infections -- besides things like UTIs or bacterial infections -- different sexual activities pose risks of here: STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes

It's perhaps obvious, but in case it isn't: the risks of any are much higher when any of those activities are done unprotected.

Also, in most states, young people can get sexual healthcare without permission from parents or parents being informed. So, if you'd like to start that healthcare, or look into it, we'd be happy to help you find a place to do that near you.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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That said, though, if you are ONLY getting a feeling of mild cramps, and NO other symptoms, and that feeling is only happening after these kinds of sex, and going away within a week, again, I think this probably is most likely about you doing things when you're not turned on enough, or simply feeling crampy because you haven't reached orgasm.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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I don't think I have anything that serious because it's felt like this everytime. I might be confusing the cramping feeling for the feeling like you're in the mood to do it again. Is that possible?
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Heather
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If you had engaged in something like intercourse, I'd be more concerned about a possible infection. The lack of other symptoms isn't the real issue here, because more times than not, infections don't present any noticeable symptoms. But again, while I think getting in the habit of talking care of our sexual health is critical, I do doubt that's the deal here.

being in the mood to have sex isn't something that will tend to feel like cramping. For starters, most of being in the mood isn't something about our bodies so much as our heads. So, if in your mind you're not in the mood, you're probably not.

I'm really going to stick with my initial hypothesis here, so how about, moving forward, you try this:
• more masturbation to find out what you like and to learn to reach orgasm.
• more communication with your partner or partners when you are going to be sexual about what you like and want and what feels GREAT to you -- not just okay, or even just good, but great -- and what doesn't.
• more time getting to activities like fingers inside your vagina.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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Okay. I don't think I'll be doing much activity though because of my pregnancy scare but if I decide to again I will. So this is something I don't even need to worry about?
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Heather
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Like I said, I'd advise starting with sexual healthcare soon regardless, but in my opinion, no, it doesn't sound like it's probably anything other than what I've suggested I think it is.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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Okay, thank you. I'll look into the healthcare thing, I just dont want my mom knowing. So I don't know how thats gonna work.
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Heather
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Well, usually how it works when young people get this healthcare without their parents knowing is that they go to the clinic themselves and choose not to share that they did with their parents, that's all.

Many clinics have sliding scale fees based on your income (not your parents), and some even offer services free of charge to minors.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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I'm 16 but I dont have my license yet so I don't know how I would get there. But I can just be more careful with what I do. If I start doing anything really serious I think I'll just have to tell somebody for the sake of my health.
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Heather
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Well, you have a sexual partner, it sounds like, so maybe they can help you get there? Or a bus service? A bike? However you get to anywhere you have gotten already without your parents is how you'd get there.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaylee
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That's true. I'll see what I can figure out.
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