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Author Topic: Obsessive
fairyprincess89
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Hi,

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. Last year, I had a pregnancy scare, and we stopped having sex for a while. I thought I was ready to start again and we did in September, always with condoms. However, we slipped up, and made a poor choice.

In the month of September, I missed a pill in the third week of my birth control pack, and gave myself a week long period. In October, my boyfriend and I were messing around, and we would have direct genital to genital contact, where he NEVER went inside me and came, but I know with precum on the vulva, there is a large pregnancy risk. After that, in October and November I had two extremely light periods in a row. Just a few drops on a tampon every couple of hours for about 3 days.

However, I have taken three negative pregnancy tests, taken the pill perfectly for the month of October and November, and had two light periods. On top of a call to my health care provider, where she told me light spotting can be a typical withdrawal bleed with the type of low dose combination pill i'm on because there is such low estrogen. But, I cannot shake the fear I am pregnant. I don't know what I can possibly do to overcome the fear. I'm convincing myself everything is a sign of pregnancy, and that I'm gaining weight, when in fact the scale show I lost two pounds. I think I feel a heavy weight in the bottom of my uterus, but I have taken three negative tests and gotten two light periods.

Here are my fears: what if all three pregnancy tests showed a false negative, even when taken an entire month after my risk and missed period? I took them the first morning urine, and followed the directions EXACTLY. What if the doctor is wrong and my withdrawal bleed is so light and changed so suddenly because I'm pregnant? What if missing the pill at the end of September, made me ovulated in October, and precum containing semen traveled from my vulva, through everything to the egg in my Fallopian tube? What if everything is telling me I'm not pregnant, when I really am? I have no symptoms, but plenty of women don't have symptoms. And plenty of women claim to have taken false negative pregnancy tests, I read one story even up to 8 months into pregnancy she still read false!

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Claire P.
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Hi Fairyprincess,
First of all, there is actually NOT a high pregnancy risk with precum.

Secondly, could you talk a little more about why you think you are at a risk for pregnancy? Other than stories you may have found online (many, many "true stories" on the internet are HIGHLY unreliable).

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fairyprincess89
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I'm worried I have pregnancy risk because I missed a pill in the third week of my September pack, and then I had direct genital to genital contact without any insertion, giving me an exposure risk to precum on the external of my vagina in October (when I could have been ovulating because of the missed pill?)

And then the extremely light withdrawal bleeds; two in a row in October and November, following the two week long one from missing the pill in September.

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Claire P.
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About long after your missed pill did this condom-breaking episode happen? At least a week?
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fairyprincess89
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The condom didn't break, in fact he never inserted in me at all during the month of October. My exposure is from external contact of my boyfriends penis to my vagina. He did not cum at all. I am worried about the chances precum on my vulva has put me at risk for pregnancy. But yes, I would say this precum incident happened about two weeks after starting the new pack.
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Stephanie_1
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Okay so if you started a new pack and had been taking it correctly since then you can figure your effectiveness being what it generally would and risk with ore-ejaculate being low as it is risk would be very very low.

--------------------
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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fairyprincess89
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How much can I truly trust the pregnancy tests? Is it true that you can produce to low an HCg hormone to be detected in the body?

Additionally, I'm not sure why I am so freaked out! Everything is telling me to relax,and that I am perfectly fine, but I just can't.

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Claire P.
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Oh okay, so there are 2 things here: the first is that precum is HIGHLY unlikely to cause pregnancy. It is true that is DOES cause a very small percentage of pregnancies, but precum doesn't necessarily have any sperm in it. If it does, it caught some that might have still been hanging out in the urethra, but this doesn't always occur to precum (and for future reference, if your boyfriend urinates beforehand, that clear sperm that could be picked up by precum).

ALSO, more importantly for this specific situation, you were WAY covered by your birth control by the time this incident occurred. I am not sure what kind of birth control you are on (that can differ the specifics of the safety window, etc.) but while an extra method of contraception is generally recommended for a week after you miss a pill, by the time this "risk" occurred? You were again covered by birth control.

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fairyprincess89
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So it is okay to trust the pregnancy tests? If it says I'm negative three separate times than I most likely am?
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Claire P.
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You didn't even need to take one pregnancy test, based on the above info about how you were covered by birth control at the time.

But yes, you can trust pregnancy tests.

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Claire P.
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Can you talk a bit about why you think you are so nervous about this? Perhaps it would help to make sure that you and your bf introduce rituals like handwashing and/or putting a condom on before ANY type of sexual activity or conduct. While that's not necessary, maybe it would help ease your mind a little?

Have you read the below article? I think it would be good for you to take a look again, even if you have, to really think about which sexual activities you may or may not feel emotionally prepared for:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist

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fairyprincess89
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Thank you so much for all your help! It has certainly helped me to believe the doctor, that maybe my cycle is truly changing.

I have discussed not having sex for a while with my boyfriend. I just want to make sure that it all aligns to my needs, because I think there is guilt that is underlying a lot of my fears.

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Claire P.
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I think that sounds like a good idea, Fairyprincess! I'm glad you've figured that out about yourself- so you can truly feel comfortable with your partnered activities. [Smile]

And no problem, glad to help! And just so you know, it is really normal for periods to change in duration and intensity sometimes- it doesn't necessarily indicate anything bad!

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