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Author Topic: Fingering
srk20
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Hi yesterday my boyfriend performed manual sex on me. Before fingering me though I made him go and wash his hands with soap and water thoroughly. He didn't wash them with hot water, but moderate water and dried them thoroughly. He then came directly and fingered me and did not have any contact with his pre-cum. I was wondering whether I could still get pregnant if there was pre-cum on his hand before fingering me, or would the soap have killed whatever sperm was on there. I'm also 12 days from my last period and I know that is when women are at their highest time of ovulation so I'm really worried.
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OWL Dan
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Welcome,

Relax, you have not had any pregnancy risk! Even if he had ejaculate on his hands, both washing his hands and thoroughly drying them would have taken care any sperm. Also, pre-ejaculate does not normally contain sperm unless he has ejaculated recently and there was a few left over in his urethra. I am including this article, Pregnancy Scared?, that may help you better know what is or isn't a pregnancy risk. Please let us know if we can be of further help with this or anything else.

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Dan

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srk20
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Thank you so much. Just wondering, what if he hadn't thoroughly dried his hands? What if he towel tried them but there was still some moisture left between his fingers? Would the soap not have been enough in that case? He had masterbated about four hours before I saw him but he said that he urinated after and washed himself and his hands.

My second question is can sperm from preejaculate go through clothing? Will it be able to go through boxers and my underwear if he humps/performs dry sex and cause a pregnancy risk?

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OWL Dan
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Washing with soap and water or thoroughly drying the areas involved are good enough by themselves. Also, his urinating after ejaculating will clear his urethra of any sperm.
Sperm can not survive trying to get through clothing even if the clothes are wet from the ejactulate. Sperm cells are very fragile and, for the most part, need genital to genital contact for conditions to be right for the sperm to survive and be a viable risk for pregnancy. Please read that article I suggested, if you haven’t yet.
By the way, since the two of you have become sexually active you probably should look at this article too, Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To . It is never too early to start using safe – sex practices; especially since they can reduce pregnancy risks as well.

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Dan

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srk20
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I read on some other forums that its possible for sperm to come alive after re-wetting. Is that possible? Also, before he performed manual sex on me, I had given him a hand job so his sperm was on my hands. I went and washed them with anti bacterial soap and dried them thoroughly and about an hour later I washed my private parts with soap and water. Is there any way pregnancy could have occured by me touching my area eventhough I had washed my hands? Sorry I'm just really paranoid and by reading other forums saying that sperm doesn't die from soap and can come back is really worrying me, especially since it was my time of ovulation.
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Stephanie_1
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Try and relax, sperm are NOT supermen. They can't survive through washing your hands with soap and water. Contrary to what myths the other sites have, sperm are not zombies with magical re-life powers either. Once they're dead, they're dead. And even if you hadn't washed, after an hour they'd be totally dead anyway.

Have a look through this article: Pregnancy Scared? It explains all the cases pregnancy is a risk.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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srk20
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Okay I understand what you're saying. I communicated that to my boyfriend as well but he had spoken to a planned parenthood hotline representative who said that she wasn't sure whether washing soap and water was good enough to get rid of the sperm and that we were at risk for pregnancy. I'm really worried now, is it still possible? If so, how does one sufficiently wash hands that have sperm present on them? Please help me!
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CoatRack
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The person at Planned Parenthood was not correct - really, sperm at NOT supermen! You did not have a pregnancy risk.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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srk20
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How long can sperm survive for in air? I'm basically asking that if I had washed my hands and after about 45 minutes touched my vagina to wash it, would it pose as a risk? Also if my boyfriend had sperm on his hands before he washed his hands and fingered me, if a few sperm had survived wouldn't they have been able to travel through my vagina? Or would the walk from the bathroom to the bedroom been enough for them to die in the air?

Also what are the precautions to take before manual sex? Is washing hands with soap and water enough to prevent a risk for pregnancy? Also, if I engage with manual sex with them and get semen on my hands, what are the proper precautions to take it off and make sure that I can be safe to touch myself if needed?

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CoatRack
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Your or his fingers would literally need to be dripping with fresh semen in order for you to have a pregnancy risk. Washing hands with soap and water is just fine. If you want more protection against stuff like potential STIs or to help with your pregnancy fears then latex gloves can be used.

The thing is every sperm does not need to die. Sperm need pretty specific conditions to live, and a few (or even a few dozen) "live" sperm are not going to be able to swim off his hands, into your vagina, and all the way to your fallopian tube. They need that semen and all those other sperm to be able to move at all.

Sometimes when we are overly worried about pregnancy risk it can be our minds' way of saying "hey, slow down a little." Are you sure you want to be doing these things with your boyfriend at this time?

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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srk20
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That's why I'm worried, his finger penetrated pretty far deep inside me and I could feel him push up against my cervix. That's why I'm worried that a pregnancy risk could be pregnant because the sperm wouldn't have to do the swimming, if present, they were being pushed up.

I'm not ready to do something like this again and I've voiced to my boyfriend that we're not going to continue. This situation has really worried me and I want to be sure in every way that I am not at any possible risk.

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CoatRack
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Your cervix is not where fertilization happens. Seriously, one or two sperm cannot make pregnancy happen. His hands would literally need to be covered in fresh, wet semen to make this even a possibility.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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OWL Dan
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Hi,
I just got back to being able to be online. I want to reassure you that I agree with what Andy has been saying and that hear that from another person can better put your mind at ease. [Smile]
It sounds to me like your have made a good choice to back off on this type of activities until you are better prepared emotionally. Please look around this site and the articles too. Here is one that may be helpful. Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

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Dan

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srk20
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Ok so are you saying that I 100% don't have any pregnancy risk and should stop worrying about it? Or should I wait and take a pregnancy test?

Also Dan you said that precum doesn't contain sperm but I've read elsewhere that it does contain sperm, only much less as if actual ejaculate contained millions of sperm then preejaculate contains thousands? Or is this information incorrect?

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OWL Dan
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Although there isn't a 100% guarantee; I would say that you would have a much better chance of winning one of the multistate lotteries than getting pregnant! [Wink] For your peace of mind, I would recommend talking a test just so you could hold something in your hand that would confirm your status. [Smile] You can try one 10-14 days after the event in question or your period is late. By the way, if you have your period then it is impossible to be pregnant.

As I did say earlier, “Also, pre-ejaculate does not normally contain sperm unless he has ejaculated recently and there was a few left over in his urethra.”, I also said that urinating would flush out any remaining sperm in his urethra. Add that to what everyone else here has told you. If any one here thought that you had a realistic possibility of becoming pregnant we would have told you right a way!

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Dan

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srk20
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I understand what you mean but I just think that even if I do take a test, I'm going to doubt its accuracy and consider it a false negative or something absurd. I would much rather just have your guarentee that its not a possibility.

If I do end up trying it, which test is the most reliable and most accurate which would be sure to detect within 10 days?

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OWL Dan
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I understand what you are feeling. All of the tests are pretty equal and accurate as long as you follow their instructions. The only suggestion is that you wait the 10-14 days before testing and not trust results earlier than that; even if they are the ones that say they can test earlier. Otherwise, they are accurate after 10-14 days too. The only 100% negative guaranteed result is to have your period; by the way a late or skipped period does not guarantee that you are pregnant though.
Please keep in mind that if any of us thought that there was a real possibility, we would have told you and let you know what you options were right a way!! [Smile]

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Dan

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srk20
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Thank You so much for your help. I'm going to wait another three days since today is only thee 8th day from the event and ill let you know what result I get. If I have any more questions ill come back. Thanks Dan!
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OWL Dan
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You're welcome. Please do come back with questions; that is what all of us are here for. [Smile]

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Dan

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BriAnneeeee9595
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Hi. I know that you say not to post on others questions and that you're not answering "am I pregnant" questions, but I don't know where else to turn. My bf and I had manual sex a couple weeks ago, and all of my friends and my bf says its impossible to become pregnant this way even if a little precum was on his finger. My question is if he wiped precum off of his finger (he had recently ejaculated without using the restroom after so sperm would have been present) he wiped it on the seat of his car, and then began fingering me. Could I become pregnant from this even if his fingers were dry? I no longer google anything because I feel like I don't trust anything those sites say because I don't feel everything is accurate and I begin to worry myself more. I like scarleteen and use it for most of my problems lol. But anywho I've read that you all have said his hand would have to have a visible amount of semen in order to be at risk (which it didn't,I don't even know if he had anything at all on his fingers, he says he didn't at all). Also, I missed my period, though I'm highly irregular but during the month of October I dealt with a death in the family and surgery so could all of the stress account for my missed period? thanks, I'm just worried and I apologize about posting here but I didn't know where to go.
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Heather
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How about you simple make your own post with this, Brianne? All you need to do to do that in any area of the boards is click "post new topic" so you can start your own thread.

That way you can have us address your question without putting it in someone else's thread.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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