I recently found out that I am pregnant through positive urine tests. It is unexpected and unwanted and happened despite using a condom, spermicide, and pulling out, and I don't remember the condom ever breaking. I am studying abroad in Costa Rica, where abortion is illegal.
I did not know or suspect I was pregnant. I had bleeding just three weeks ago that was heavy with clots and I thought it was my period. So I've been going out and drinking alcohol on the weekends, I drink coffee every day, and I have also recently been prescribed medication that is considered dangerous for pregnant women and unborn babies.
I don't know what to do. I think I have already unknowingly done things that are extremely harmful for the baby, such as drinking. I feel horrible. I don't want to have this baby. But I have a history of depression and I am so afraid of having an abortion. I know that I will feel overwhelming guilt. All of the information that I have found about abortion has said that women with a history of depression are more likely to experience emotional trauma from abortion. I am pro choice but my family is VERY VERY pro life. I am very close with them and the thought of having to keep this secret for the rest of my life is terrifying.
My boyfriend is very supportive and willing to help me with any decision I make, including helping me pay to fly to the states to have a legal abortion.
How do I possibly make this decision? I know that I do not want to have this baby, but I am afraid that an abortion will sink me into a depression and permanently estrange me from my family members, who hold very different beliefs from me.
Please, any advice at all would help.
Posts: 4 | Registered: Oct 2012
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Travel: give a shout when you get those results verified. I'm happy to talk through making this choice with you, as well as happy to give you more information about abortion and depression (and pregnancy and depression, for that matter).
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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