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Author Topic: Emotionally upset right now... need help sorting out.
Kabith
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Hello Scarleteen.

So, I'm experiencing quite a few negative emotions today (and a bit the past couple of days). If you don't mind, I'm going to have some word vomit. If you'd like to read it and help me sort some things out, that would be great!

For one, I keep having this little voice in the back of my head saying "Hey, maybe you are pregnant!" I really can't explain why. I haven't had sex, and the closest I have gotten to having sex is when my boyfriend and I grinded with no clothes on, but with no penetration (both STI free, btw). I am on birth control pills, though the ones I was taking at that time I had left in 90 degree F weather for a day or two. But even then... sperm need a lot of help to reach an egg. (That itty bitty risk was a month ago.) So I know I am worrying for no reason, but I can't shake it. I could go get a pregnancy test just to sooth myself, but a) I have to wait awhile before I have any money to go buy one, and b) I have never bought one before and chicken out every time I go down the isle.

Some reasons I am concerned about pregnancy: my last period was very light and very brief, and also a few days later than usual. The past couple of days, I have had this bloating/pressure feeling right behind my belly button. I am assuming it is just indigestion, or gas, or bloating or something. But I keep wondering if it could be a pregnancy symptom. Whenever I lay on my side I can feel it more, and sometimes when I am just sitting down I can feel it. I also have a newer freckle on my nipple, which is a possible pregnancy symptom (I am going in to have that looked at in about 2 weeks.) When I do have my anxious moments, I just think about how I would have to change everything that I am doing right now. I am in school, renting a place with some friends, with just 3 semesters left... I just HAVE to get through this. Having a baby now would make things so much more difficult. But I don't know if I could do abortion or adoption... thinking about those things make me nervous.

My other negative feelings just come from the stress I am having right now. I am stressed about keeping good grades and staying on top of my work. I am stressed about getting in those internship applications on time. I am stressed about going to these networking events to (hopefully) help get my face out there, so I have a better chance of getting an internship and possibly a job after graduation. I am stressed that I won't be smart enough, or impressive enough, or pretty enough to make it with all of these other class mates that I am competing with. On top of that, I realize that my life is going to be dramatically different in 2 years, and that is scaring me a little bit. I am excited, but I also feel like that future depends on me being super proactive and diligent right now, which is stressing me out. (Throwing a baby into that mix would be a bummer, too).

I also have occasional body-image issues. I am, in general, happy with myself. But I want to be healthy, and active, and some of this school work is getting in the way. I gained about 30 pounds last year during school because of stress, me not managing my diabetes well enough, doing school all the time, and eating fast food. I have changed a lot, and I am doing a LOT better with my diabetes and am working out about 1 hour a week... but I just don't feel like that is enough. I feel chubby and unhealthy a lot of the time. That also bums me out.

On top of that, one of my younger cousins is having major medical issues right now, which is upsetting.

Today it is all getting to me, and I am just sad >.< I am not suicidal or anything. I just have the urge to turn off the lights, crawl under my blankets, ignore my mountain of homework, and cry for awhile. And go to sleep.

Posts: 100 | From: Washington State - USA | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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HI Kabith,

Yes, it does sound like you have a lot to deal with.

You know, there's nothing wrong whatsoever with hiding under the blankets and having a good cry. As bad as it can feel at the moment, sometimes doing that can offer more relief than just pushing on and pretending everything is okay when it's not.

You know, right, that stresss can be a huge culprit in menstrual changes?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kabith
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Yeah. Maybe I should just go and cry. I just feel like I'll fall behind in stuff if I let it get a hold of me for too long D:

Yeah, I have discovered that stress can be quite a curveball with menstrual changes. My first pregnancy scare was when I was almost 2 weeks late... but that was the same month my parents almost got divorced! So that is what did it. However, I've never experienced that while on birth control... how does birth control factor into it? Can you still bleed when you start your new set, if you are going to be late? Did that even make sense?

Posts: 100 | From: Washington State - USA | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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It's still possible while on the pill to miss a withdrawal bleed or have a late one. It's also possible for it to be lighter than usual and still be okay. There are a lot of hormones that affect the reproductive system, and while birth control pills make changes that make pregnancy very unlikely, they don't entirely override all of those other hormones. So, especially when stress is at play, there can be all kinds of things happening in the body.

You said something above about a freckle on your breast being a pregnancy symptom? Freckles appearing on breasts really aren't a sign of pregnancy. Some pregnant women experience marked changes to their breasts, but that's very different from breast changes signifying pregnancy when you have no other reason to think that you might be pregnant. Does that make sense?

Have you taken a look at our Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul
article? It might be helpful to you in terms of putting some of these physical things you're experiencing into perspective.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kabith
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Yes, that does make sense. I am going in to have it checked out as its own thing, because skin cancer runs in the family and we tend to be cautious of new marks on our skin. I was just particularly concerned that it was right on the pink part of my breast (not exactly on the nipple, though), and I had heard that something like that /can/ be symptoms of pregnancy. (Though it is probably just a rumor.) However, I totally agree with you- there is no reason for me to acknowledged that as pregnancy symptom at all. It is nice to hear someone else reassure me of that, though [Smile]

That is a nice article... thank you [Smile] I'll be sure to remember that one if I do get into one of these irrational funks.

Posts: 100 | From: Washington State - USA | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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I' mglad to hear you're going to get it checked out. It's good for all of us to get changes checked out if they're concerning to us, and particularly if there's family history of cancer involved.

You're welcome for the article. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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