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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » advice for little neighbor

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Author Topic: advice for little neighbor
foreverbroken
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So my neighbor who is 12 almost 13 has a boyfriend. He respects her so much so if she doesnt want to do anything he wont fource her. Whish is a really good thing. Well she called me crying saying she did something really stupid and regrets it. She let him finger her. She says she liked it but is experessing negative thoughts in the same way. I told her that her feelings are normal that she is confused because she was so young. I told her her that its ok to like what happened and but feel scared that it happened when she is not even 13. I talked to her about STDs how to make sure you talk with your partner before you have sex. That if a guy cant respect your morals then he is not your time and energy. I gave her the example of me not wanting sex before marriage. I told her what sex was and what oral and hand job was. I asked her if his penis was near her vigina and she said no. I told her the only way to get pregnant is if that happenes. I told her not to even do oral sex. I went on and said that there are a lot of young girls out there who have a kid and that its very hard to have a life and go to school when you do have one at that young age. SO i guess I am feeling bad that I gave her the talk but glad I did. She grew up in a very unstable household with her mom cheating on her dad and now marring her dads cousin. Long story its been like this one and off for years now. She said that I am the only one she can trust besides her boyfriend. She said I was like her sister. I have always been there for her, even tho she gets mad and sometimes shoves me out of her life but she always ends up coming back. So am i ok to be feeling ok that I talked to her and feel bad at the same time?

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Im always abandond

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foreverbroken
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any ideas how else I can help her?

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Im always abandond

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Saffron Raymie
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It sounds like you gave your neighbor some great info. Would you like to talk about why you're feeling bad about this?

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Member # 49582

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Also, we ask users not to bump posts when it's been under 48 hours, as it can take that long for us to reply. If it's been more than 48 hours without a reply, feel free to bump.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
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Member # 96418

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yes I would and I am sorry, i just had to add the last thing since i forogt to put it when i first wrote the post. ya why do i feel so bad about giving ehr the info? Could it be that i am not her mother or real sister?

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Im always abandond

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Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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Well, plenty of people get their sex education from places that aren't their siblings or parents. For example, I got mine a little bit from school and a lot of it from Scarleteen and my own research, which began when I was 22. For some people, their parents or siblings can actually be the worst place to get that factual info - as all parents and siblings are all individuals. Some may be clueless about it themselves, some may be even deliberately withholding factual, judgement-free information about sexuality and sexual relationships or passing on misinformation by accident or deliberately. So, other sources for sex and relationships education are always valid.

In terms of you helping your neighbor find the good stuff, how about suggesting this website, eh? [Smile]

[ 09-04-2012, 05:39 PM: Message edited by: Rei ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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