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Author Topic: First time
polkadots2
Neophyte
Member # 93754

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I had sex (vaginal intercourse) for the first time yesterday and I was wondering when I would need to go to an OBGYN. Is is necessary to go as soon as possible? I know that you are supposed to go either when you are 21 or are sexually active. I will be 20 in a few months. The thing is, my mom doesn't know that I am sexually active, and she would know if I asked to go or went on my own because I am still on her insurance. Is planned parenthood a place where I could get an exam? I'm going back to school in early September and would be able to go to a planned parent hood then. Thank you for your help!
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Robin Lee
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HI There polkadots2,

Yes, it is a really good idea to start seeing a gynecologist when one becomes sexually active. That's also not the only reason that someone sees a gynecologist, so were you to make an appointment with one, there's no reason your mother should have a problem with that. But it sounds as if you think she would react negatively? Would you like to talk more about that?

Yes, Planned Parenthood does provide gynecological consultations and exams. If that's the route you choose to take you'll want to call the clinic you want to go to and ask about payment and whether they have a sliding scale.

Unless you experience pain or discomfort, or have concerns about birth control, or STIs you can feel comfortable putting off a visit to the gyn until September if that feels like the least complicated option for you.

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Robin

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polkadots2
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I'm not really sure how she would react. I have a very close relationship with my mom, but sex is one subject we've never really talked about. If I had questions, she would answer them, but we never talked about my sex life or her sex life when she was my age. I always felt that if she knew of the things I was doing, she would be disappointed in me. And recently, when I have talked to her, I've implied that my boyfriend and I haven't done anything (which isn't the case) and she always said that I was making the right choice and she seemed happy with me. When I have asked her about going to a gynecologist, just as a general question, not if I could go, she said you only need to go if you are sexually active or if you are 21. So I've just sort of figured that if I asked to go, she would ask why, and then it would all come out, which is a can of worms I don't really want to open.
I don't have any concerns about STIs, and we used condoms as a form of birth control. The only discomfort I had is a slight tear of the skin, but I think that's normal, isn't it? I bled very very little yesterday.
Thanks so much for your help.

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Robin Lee
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Yes, having a small tear and a little bleeding isn't at all unusual. Did you use extra lubrication? That is important for reducing friction, which will both feel better and reduce risks of the condom splitting because things are too dry.

So yes, if you'd prefer to avoid what you think would be an uncomfortable discussion with your Mom, you can wait until you go bak to school to get an exam. If your school has a student health service, you may be able to see a health care provider there, or you can, as you said, go to Planned Parenthood.

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Robin

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polkadots2
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Ok that's good to know. And yes we did. I read the scarleteen article on condoms an made sure I was prepared. Will it re-tear each time I have sex? Or will it be ok the next time?
Thank you for your help! [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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You shouldn't have any more tearing. If you do, we can talk about ways to make sure that doesn't happen. [Smile]

and...you're most welcome.

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Robin

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polkadots2
Neophyte
Member # 93754

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Ok that's good. Thank you!
Posts: 20 | From: usa | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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