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Author Topic: Moms/birth control/boyfriends...
soccer06
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Hi guys,
So I've talked to you before about how I told my mom about having oral sex. She flipped out and started yelling about how I was "f******" up my life and how he couldn't believe my boyfriend would talk me into that.

Now the thing is, is that he didn't talk me into it. The night later, I had a conversation about how it was my decision too and that I'd wait for a while (year or two) before I did anything since I wasn't ready.

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and talk about my irregular periods and cramps. I would like to be put on bc pill (2 of my friends are for that). It would be nice to stop taking my acne pill and just take bc for cramps, acne, and helping to regulate my periods (all-in-1). It would be nice even for the future if my boyfriend and I do engage in oral sex again (not anytime soon, but just as a safetly blanket).

I'm nervous that when I go in and my doctor asks about it that my mom won't let me get put on it. (because of the flip-out she had before about oral sex). I would just really like to be put on it for all of the reasons I've stated. I found out that I really can't talk to her about any type of sex, so i'd really like to not bring that up again.

Any advice for my doctor's trip tomorrow? Or what to say to my mom? It might have been bad to talk to her about oral sex before my doctor's appt, but I was just nervous and told her I felt bad going behind her back. I said that I would talk to her about doing anything again and she may believe me or not...

I'm also nervous about my boyfriend coming over to my house again or going over to his. (When she was screaming she said he wasn't allowed over here and that she couldn't trust me anymore). The next night, we talked about it more calmly and she said it was an initial reaction, but I'm still nervous to have him over or go over there....any advice for that either? Thanks so much.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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soccer, I'm so sorry this got overlooked.

If you still want to talk about any of these issues, can you catch us up with what's still on your plate? Thanks.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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soccer06
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It's alright! I ended up getting bc for my periods and it'll be nice to help me phycologically when I have oral sex...not vaginal yet...definitely not ready!!

I'm just not sure on how to handle my boyfriend with my mom. She got really, REALLY upset and angry when I told her about having oral and said he wasn't allowed in her house anymore and that i'm f****** up my life. (Initial reaction). We talked about it and I think we have most figured out now (our relationship at home is normal again).

What i'm worried about is how to lead into him coming over to my house or me going over to his again (or just us seeing each other). I don't want my mom to get mad that we decide to watch a movie in the basement or act weird around him. I guess what I would like to know is the steps I should take for my boyfriend and I to hang out again. I was thinking about going to an icecream place tomorrow with him and my sister and then rent a movie and inviting the rest of the family to come watch if they want to, then keep building up to having the trust we have had before I told her.

Any advice on what I should do? I just don't want anything to be awkward or her to be suspicious...I won't be having oral sex for a while anyways (which is what I told my mom when we had the "calm talk" after the initial).

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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My hat's off to you, soccer, for obviously trying to work things out with your Mom, and not just to have things work with your boyfriend for yourself.

It sounds to me like this is a conversation to try and have with her. In other words, to perhaps open by asking her how she thinks you two can work things out so that your boyfriend and you can hang out and see each other in a way you're all comfortable with. You can reaffirm that, for now, you don't have any intentions of doing anything sexual, what you're asking about is just being able to see this person, and to do so in a way that allows you and your Mom -- and maybe him and your Mom, too -- to rebuild trust.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67102 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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