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Author Topic: what can we do?
saraa
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Hey, so I've had sex only 4 times(in my whole life) with my boyfriend. And I've noticed he finishes really fast. Any tips or tricks on how to make him last longer?

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-saraa.

Posts: 55 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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So, it sounds like the two of you are pretty new to intercourse, and have only started having intercourse at the beginning of the month?

What do you consider "fast"? How long does he take to ejaculate?

Does he take longer to ejaculate with other activities?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9187 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
saraa
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He has had sex with 2 other people which were serious relationships, whereas I was a virgin with him.

If we do a lot of foreplay like 5-10 minutes or it, he finishes in about 45 seconds. So I figured skip the long foreplay and do it for only a few minutes & he still finished fast, in about a minute or 2.

When I give him a handjob he can last longer, but as soon as i go for blowjob he's done within 30-40 seconds.

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-saraa.

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Robin Lee
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It's not at all unusual for young men, regardless of whether they've had previous sexual partners, to ejacualte quickly.

Can you tell us a little bit more about what you are looking for in delaying his ejaculation?
Here are a couple of links that I think will give you some information on this topic.

Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide


http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2009/07/22/why_cory_loves_premature_ejaculation

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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It might also help if you just reframed your experience. Rather than dividing what you do into "foreplay" and "main event", if you just think of all of it as sex, it doesn't really matter so much when and how quickly he comes. Too, sex doesn't have to be over just because your partner ejaculated. There's tons of other things you can do that don't require an erect penis.

This article may help:
What's Sex?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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saraa
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I just want it to last longer pretty much. Cause it just happens so fast I bartely have time to enjoy it I guess..all 3 times it has hurt and 1 time it felt good and we both finished at the same time.

--------------------
-saraa.

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Robin Lee
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Yes, I read the post in which you said intercourse was painful for you. Was it less painful last time then?

Have you and your boyfriend discussed this?

As I said above, it's not unusual for young men to finish very quickly. They are often able to become aroused again after some down time. Did you have a chance to read the article on sexual response linked above?

There are no quick and easy solutions to anything. It often involves partners working together to find out what is most pleasurable for everyone.

It's lovely that your last encounter was so enjoyable for both of you. While that can definitely happen again, again, there's no magic that will make it happen every time. Sexual activity of any type just doesn't work like that. Sometimes our bodies are more or less aroused, sometimes we're more or less tired, or sometimes the stars are just aligned differently. So I guess what I'm saying is that if you're trying to replicate that one experience, that isn't possible.

You also mentioned above cutting out your foreplay. How do you think the sexual experience would be for you if you and your boyfriend didn't engage in foreplay and launched directly into intercourse?

Our bodies are truly individual, especially when it comes to sex. WE can have completely different sexual experiences depending on the day, and even depending on the partner.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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