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Author Topic: Am I Overreacting?
pocket_mouse_531
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Hi guys! Sorry that I've been posting so many questions recently, I'm just feeling a little uneasy about something.
I mentioned in another post that after an incident in which my boyfriend gave me manual sex (fingered me), some brownish-red discharge came out of my vagina. The next day, it turned red, thickened, and lasted for about four or five days. I believe that this was my period, but I cannot get over the feeling that the timing of my period was all too coincidental in relation to the fingering incident. I was meant to get my period on the 13th or 14th of April, and instead, I got it the 10th of April. I'm almost never early for my period, so was this really a period? Or does the bleeding have to do with something else entirely?
Also, for about two or three days, I experienced some unusual dryness on my vulva. There was no itchiness or redness, just dryness. Is this normal?
Finally (and sorry for the multiple questions!), I just want to clarify something: if I do not engage in any bare-genital-to-bare-genital contact or bare-female-genital-to-fresh-ejaculate contact with my boyfriend, then I'm not at a risk for pregnancy, correct? My boyfriend has never ever ejaculated with me, nor have we ever engaged in actual vaginal intercourse, so I'm assuming there is no risk. I just want to make sure I'm right.
Thank you so much!!!

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pocket_mouse_531
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Oh, and also, I'm trying to find the best birth control that would work for me. My biggest concern with birth control is that I have an immense and paralyzing fear of vomiting and nausea. Are there any kinds of birth control that will not make me nauseous?
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Karybu
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Even if it shows up a few days early or late, bleeding that looks like a period and feels like a period is very likely a period. I don't hear you saying anything about it that could be cause for concern, but if you'd like you can always ask a healthcare provider.

The dryness could be a couple of things: at certain points in your cycle, there's usually less vaginal discharge and things tend to be dryer overall. It could also be a mild irritation, from something like laundry soap or body wash, any number of things.
quote:
if I do not engage in any bare-genital-to-bare-genital contact or bare-female-genital-to-fresh-ejaculate contact with my boyfriend, then I'm not at a risk for pregnancy, correct?
That is correct. [Smile]

Birth control - the hormonal types anyway - pretty much all have some chance of causing nausea. Some people have more problems with this than others, but there's no way of finding out if it will be an issue for you without giving it a try, unfortunately. There are non-hormonal methods though, and our Birth Control Bingo piece is a good place to start when you're trying to figure out a method that might be a good fit for you.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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pocket_mouse_531
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Thank you so much! Also, I had a question about semen. Why is it that only semen can allow sperm to survive? And how long can sperm from pre-ejaculate survive outside a man's penis?
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Robin Lee
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Semen has the right temperature, Ph balance, and other factors that are calibrated to support sperm. Once semen is exposed to air, or water, or anything like that, that environment has been interrupted. As well, sperm moves beause of the fluidity and viscosity of semen. If the ejaculation isn't intact, like if there's some semen on someone's hand, there's no where for the sperm to go, or way for them to get there...and this is assuming that they're still alive, which they're not because they've been exposed to a hostile environment.

This is why it doesn't really matter how long sperm can survive themselves. Once the fluid they're in is somewhere else, such as on a piece of clothing or a hand, nothe sperm are effectively paralyzed.

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Robin

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pocket_mouse_531
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Oh wow, I had no idea! So even if my boyfriend had pre-ejaculate on his fingers and then fingered me, it's impossible to become pregnant because the change of pH caused by his hands paralyzed the sperm?
I'm sorry for asking so many questions! It's just that every little weird feeling I get makes me think it's a symptom of pregnancy. Like right now my stomach is a little unsettled and it's making me think that I'm pregnant when I know that's not reasonable.
I guess honestly I'm just not ready to handle the risks that come with these actions, but I can't seem to make myself want to stop. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Thank you so much for your time!

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Robin Lee
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Have you and your boyfriend discussed changing things up in terms of your sexual activities? Since it affects both of you it is good to have that talk, and it can also be mutual support for the challenge of stopping or changing things.

You can take a look at this list of things that lead to NO Pregnancy Risks
You're already doing the manual sex and it is causing you a lot of anxiety but there may well be other things on this list that will appeal to both you and your partner and which you can be assured do not lead to pregnancy.

Here are a couple more articles with ideas for changing things up and for having that discussion with your partner.

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

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Robin

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