Firstly, let me say that I am an 18 year old female, and I had my first and only orgasm three years ago. The only reason I even had one once, was because I had been feeling turned on and masturbated one night but gave up and tried going to sleep- and then woke up almost there! All I really had to do was encourage it a little, and voila. Problem is, ever since then, I haven't been able to orgasm- something weird happens. Until a year ago, I was able to get turned on but whenever I tried masturbating (clit stimulation, vibrator) I just never got there. I could get myself to get pretty aroused, but very rarely AWESOME feeling. This is the kind of weird part- while I'm masturbating, whether or not I'm touching the clit directly or at all, it starts to become more and more sensitive and if I do touch it it feels nice, but... localized, almost, to just down there. Then, my clit becomes SO sensitive, that it hurts to touch it, NOT a burning, stinging or anything like that, just REALLY sensitive to the point where it's unbearable, and just before and during the time it feels like that, my vagina and a few other places in my body contract. It feels just like how my body did when I had an orgasm, just I'm not feeling good from it. This happens whether I'm touching my clit or not, it's happened with just a vibrator before. Afterward, I feel depleted, drained of energy, and depressed. I never experienced this pain until I had my first orgasm- which was completely painless, by the way. And for a year now, I can't get myself to feel that fire in your belly kind of feeling, and if I feel anything at all it's more of a cool simmer instead of a hot boil, if you get my drift. I think my lack of arousal now is due to the fact that I got so frustrated with feeling pain at the end of every time that I masturbated. I've only had this pain once with past partners- once when my transgirl/boyfriend at the time was giving me oral. It's not that I completely lack sexual desire all the time, though at some parts of the month I do, and when I'm ovulating my desire is increased and that's when I can feel a little bit more aroused than normal. Also, I think I might have been having issues reaching orgasm in the first place because it's hard for me to "let go" though I'm slowing getting over it. The closest I've come to having an orgasm with another person was when I was on top of my partner a week ago during intercourse and I guess I was stimulating my g spot indirectly, and that "fire" in my belly came back- but he pulled out before I could find out if it would work! I can't figure out what I did then to bring that feeling back. Sex is enjoyable with him, but not very satisfying. I was raised with the idea that sex is bad but I've been a firm believer since I discovered what sex actually is that it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I went to the GYN a few weeks ago and all my tests for stds came back negative, and I do not take prescription meds. My periods also come every 7-8 weeks or so, which started happening earlier this year- though I'm not complaining about that change! (Sorry if this is too much information, I just don't know if any of this might be helpful). I want so badly to feel aroused like I used to, even if I can't reach orgasm! And what is up with the pain? Can anyone help me out here? Thanks so much.
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009
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