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Author Topic: omg help am i pregnantt
all090092
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Okay so, me and my bf were playing around....i gave him a handjob and he came everywhere. It got on both our hands and my pants so i changed my pants, i wahsed my hands and he said he washed his and dried them then he tried to finger me but i stopped him after a couple seconds cuz i was afraid he had cum on them!! So im afraid im pregnant and my period is due tomorrow!! I also had lower abdominal pain in the middle of my cycle after this incident occured and i read and it said it could be a sign of ovulation or pregnancy!!!! And we often rub against eachother with clothes on if his precum soaks thru is tht a risk? And of i had just panties on while he rubbed against me (he had clothes on) is tht a risk? Omg help im so scared!!!
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Heather
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You both washed your hands: therefore, there would have been no semen to create a pregnancy. As well, when you have clothing on -- especially if it's more than just one very thin layer, or a layer that can get pulled around (like with a thong), you're not taking risks of pregnancy with humping. And unless you chart your fertility every day, have for a while, and know how to interpret that charting, I'd not be concerned with ovulation and its timing, since that's the only really accurate way to know about that.

But it sounds to me like you two might be moving things in a direction where it's time to talk about condoms, and where you'd probably feel a lot better if you did talk about them, did have them handy and ready to use, and had one used for things like any humping where he's not dressed, okay? Sex, of any kind, is supposed to be enjoyable and fun, and it's hard for it to be that way if we're really worried, or taking risks we don't want to be taking.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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all090092
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My panties were very thin like see through, but he still had clothes on. So theres no chance i could be pregnant im very scared. I get scared of getting pregnant from almost everything we do but im very scared for this, do you think it would be a good idea to stop doing things completly? We have never had sex were only 15 and yes we have talked about comdoms but im afraid ill still be worried. So theres no possible way i could be pregnant? And how can i prepare myself for sexual things so i dnt worry?
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Heather
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I don't see that you need to be worried about pregnancy from any of this yet.

But I do see that you ARE, and I hear you saying you feel very scared with anything sexual. I also hear you asking if you should stop with all of it while you feel that way, and my guess is, you're asking that because that feels like what YOU think you should do and would feel best about.

So, by all means, if you feel too stressed and worried at this point in your life, stepping back can be a really sound thing to do. How about trying not to do ANYTHING sexual that freaks you pout, and only stick to what you feel comfortable with -- even if that's nothing -- and see if that doesn't feel better for you?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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all090092
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What do you mean by yet? And im afraid ill never be able to do anything sexual because ill always be scared...
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Heather
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I mean that what you have posted about what you've been doing so far doesn't create a concern for me about pregnancy. But it sounds like you have been doing things you don't feel comfortable with, so you doing other things past these -- unless you make some changes and stick to only doing what you feel okay about -- that MAY create risks seems likely. Especially since it sounds like while condoms have been discussed, even though using them for the things you have done so far would probably feel better to you, they aren't being used.

I really see no reason to worry you will never be able to be sexual without fear. Our comfort with sexual activity is a process through life, and, too, if and when we get better about only doing what we feel okay about, taking more precautions, and choose partners who are supportive of all of that, things tend to feel a lot less scary. Same goes with not moving faster than we're really ready for: if we're moving too fast, it's always going to feel a lot scarier than if we take a slower pace.

Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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all090092
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Yes thanks so much i just need a little bit more reassurance, so there is ABSOLUTELY no chance of me being pregnant?
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Heather
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*If* when you two are humping, all you have on is one thin layer that's getting moved around a lot, or winds up saturated with ejaculate from your partner, then there may have been/can be some risk. But I don't hear you describing that, so it doesn't sound like it, no.

It dopes sound like maybe this piece might help you out if you choose to slow things down, though: Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

And by all means, if your boyfriend doesn't know or understand how scared you have been feeling, I think you should fill him in. A partner who cares about you won't want to be doing anything that makes you feel this freaked out, okay?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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all090092
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What if there his precum soaked thru his pants to me? Tht is what culd have happened
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Robin Lee
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Anything soaking through pants won't lead to pregnancy. The sperm can't just crawl throughfabric and stay viable. They're very delicate little creatures really.

So no, pants soaked with pre-ejaculate or ejaculate aren't a concern for pregnancy risk.

Seeing the conversation you've been having with Heather, what is your plan for moving forward?

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Robin

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all090092
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Well im actually talking with my boyfriend right now and discussing what sexual things i can do without getting scared.
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all090092
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Well im actually talking with my boyfriend right now and discussing what sexual things i can do without getting scared.
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all090092
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Also im super tired are you sure i couldnt be pregnant?
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Robin Lee
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There are lots of reasons you could be tired, including stres and worry. You mentioned above that your period is coming soon, which is also a reason for being tired.

As we've said, the sexual activities you have described really cannot lead to pregnancy.

If it would make you feel better to take a pregnancy test, than you can certainly do that. You could also wait a few days to see if your period arrives.

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Robin

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all090092
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What if it doesnt arrive?
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Robin Lee
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Do you usually have regular cycles?

If your period doesn't arrive, then by all means take a pregnancy test to rule that out.

I know this is scary. Again I will tell you though that none of the sexual activity you describe poses a pregnancy risk.

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Robin

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all090092
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Yeah but they can be off sometimes. and if it doesnt pose a pregnancy risk what would be the point of taking a tesy? Just so it calms me down? Im not trying to sound snappy im just worried.
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Robin Lee
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Some people find it helpful when they're worrying a lot to actually see a negative test result. It's completely up to you.

If your cycles are off sometimes, then it may just be a matter of waiting for your period. Not fun, I know.

Is there anything you think would help you worry less?

How was the conversation with your boyfriend about adjusting what the two of you do sexually to make sure you don't worry again like this?

--------------------
Robin

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all090092
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It went well bjut he is not super understanding of why im so worried...my older sister got pregnant at 16 tht was a few years back and got an abortion and i hate her for it. I think tht causes me to worry so much about being pregant...me and him did agree that we need to back off the sexual things for a while even though we have been together for a year he respects thr im not ready to keep doing sexual stuff
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Robin Lee
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Your feelings about your sister getting an abortion make you worry that you'll get pregnant and have to face the same decision. I think that's what I hear you saying.

It may be tough for your boyfriend to understand what you're feleing and why you're feeling that way, but I'm glad to hear that he is supportive. You might find this list of which activities are risky and which aren't to be a good starting point, though of course even if something isn't risky but still makes you worry and be uncomfortable you can cross it off your own list.

NO Pregnancy Risks

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Robin

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all090092
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I havent gotten my period and im still pretty worried...any advice?
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Heather
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How regular is your period normally, and when are you expecting it? How many days late is it now, and has it ever been that late before? To boot, how do you count your cycles to know when to expect it?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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all090092
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Pretty regular...i was supposed to get it today. and i count the from my period to my next one and it is usually 28 days. and it has been late sometimes but not alot
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Heather
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Well, it's actually pretty uncommon for people to get their periods on exactly the same day, per number of days, every time. What's much more normal is deviation in cycles of at least a couple days.

So, especially since I don't see you had any likely risks here, I think you'd benefit most by trying to chill out and giving it a few more days.

Just for future reference, about what you mentioned with your sister and your feelings about her and her abortion, it's important to us this is as safe a space as it can be for people who have made the whole range of choices with pregnancy, including abortion. So, while, if you ever wanted to talk about the hard feelings it sounds like you're having, we'd be happy to do that, we ask that users refrain from saying things like that they hate people for making a given pregnancy choice, okay? That can make people who have made that choice (users, but also staff and volunteers trying to interact with the person saying that) feel pretty uncomfortable here. Thanks. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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all090092
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Sorry! I respect any choices that people make on here! So it is possible i could be pregnant?
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Heather
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It's okay, just letting you know for next time. [Smile]

Really, I think we've said all we can say about the possibilities already. Like I have already said, *I* am not seeing anything you've posted so far showing a likely risk of pregnancy.

But by all means, if, in a few days, your period still hasn't arrived, you can certainly take a pregnancy test to know the answer for sure.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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