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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » is this safe to do ?

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Author Topic: is this safe to do ?
mysteryflower
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if i was to rub genitals with my boyfriend wearing a condom, would this be considered safe? its a silly question and i know i always ask for advice but where im from we really dont get taught about any of sexual things,
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Heather
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If you were to do that, you'd have the level or protection condoms can offer from sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. With STIs, that's 70% and up, depending on the STI, and with pregnancy, that's 98% in perfect use and around 85% in typical use.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteryflower
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can you define the difference between typical and perfect use?
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Heather
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Sure.

Perfect use -- of any method -- is when a method is used exactly as directed, and always used. Typical use is how people tend to use it in regular life, not lab studies or perfect use directions.

For condoms, perfect use would be storing them properly, opening them properly, using enough lube, putting them on right, having them on for ALL genital contact and removing them correctly. Typical use can involve not doing one or more of any of those things, like removing it halfway through contact or only putting it on after contact has started, putting it on backwards, not using lube as needed, etc.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteryflower
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okay thank you, my boyfriend told me he put his on the wrong way round, if there was no ejactulation and only the tip penetrated would that leave a low level risk, e.g. typical use?
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mysteryflower
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inside out even*
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Heather
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If someone puts a condom on the wrong way, then instead of ditching it and opening a new condom to put on the right way, just flips it around, then yes, that's no longer perfect use.

So, you need to let your boyfriend know to a) just take an extra second to make sure it's the right way first to avoid that mistake, and b) if he makes it, he needs to get a new condom to use, not use that one he put on wrong.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mysteryflower
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okay thank you, so today that happened he didnt realise till afterwards, but there was no tears or anything, he didnt change it cause we didnt realise, there was a tiny bit of penetration DEFINATLY not sex and no one ejectulated there was only pre cum in the condom, so would this situation be anything to be concerned about? (I read the condom article which i have found very useful and will take advice from now on^^)
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Heather
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I have a very hard time answering when someone asks if they should have concern about something in this way, because...well, I can't tell you what to be concerned about.

ANY time -- and I think we've talked about this before -- a person with a penis and someone with a vulva have direct (as in, you're naked) contact, there are possible STI or pregnancy risks. Even with condoms. If you reduce those risks with condoms, the risks are lower, but they are still there. If you use condoms perfectly, they're more reduced than if you don't.

So, if you don't use them perfectly, then yes, the risks will be higher than if you had.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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