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audreytoo
Activist
Member # 58116

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When my partner penetrates me with his finger (using lube) I enjoy it and it often leads to orgasm. But when he tries to insert his penis, which is on the small side, it is painful and we always have to stop. We tried it 4 times so far, slowly.

Does this mean anal sex with a penis won't ever feel good for me? Is there anything else we can do to make it more comfortable?

One of my friends (a gay man) says he uses a numbing cream on his anus, and also inhales something right before sex, which makes it feel better. I'm guessing these things aren't safe?

Posts: 73 | From: U.S. | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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So you're going right from one finger to a penis, correct? If so, then perhaps the first thing to do is try to slow down and try slowly working up to it. If one finger feels good, then try adding another and see how that goes, etc. Or you might try a small toy that is between the two sizes.

Numbing cream or mind altering substances are not a good idea when combined with sexual activity. Altering substances can diminish our decision making abilities. Numbing is not wise because it's essentially trying to turn off your body's warning signs. Pain is a signal that something is wrong, you want it to give you those signals.

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Sarah Liz

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